‘No!’ He took a step forwards, jabbing a finger at his black collar. ‘Scan that, you shits! Go on. Scan it. See that? See what it is? I’ll use it, I fucking swear I will! Just piss off and leave me alone.’ The tears were flowing faster now, and with them came miserable sobs making his chest judder. ‘Leave me alone,’ he wailed. ‘You’ve won. Do you understand? Whoop bloody whoop. What more do you want? You can’t send me to Zagreus, not any more. We’re all going to be cocooned anyway, so what’s the fucking point?’ He slumped back against the wall and slowly slid down it. His head bowed low so he didn’t have to see anything, and he carried on sobbing. When he had no tears left – when every thought was numb – he’d do it. The collar really was insurance. Packed with explosives, it would decapitate him instantly, and the blast would shatter his skull, pulping his brain. The Olyix wouldn’t be able to cocoon that.
It was the only victory he had left.
*
Twenty minutes later, he still hadn’t moved. The tears had stopped a while back. In his head, he was living in the past, replaying the memories of the time before. Of Bik larking about. Gran, always so stressed and tired as she struggled to bring up two boys, to get them to go to school, to stop them hanging with the wrong crowd. No. Not them.Me. I was the one who let her down. I should have stayed at university. I shouldn’t have got myself thrown out. I shouldn’t have gone back to the Legion.
It’s why I’ve finished up here. It’s why we’re all here. I was so dumb, I helped the Olyix. I did this to London, to the world.
The sound of approaching footsteps registered through the black grief. He took a breath and focused on the collar icon. The last thing he’d ever see. Here we go –
‘Ollie, darling.’
Un. Be. Fucking. Leavable! Ollie started to laugh hysterically. He was at absolute rock bottom, the worst state it was possible for a human to be in – but no, there was still a single way he could be brought lower. And who was the one and only person who could do that . . .? ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Ollie, please don’t do this.’
He glanced up. Lolo was standing ten metres in front of him, wearing a scarlet summer dress with big white polka dots that glimmered an unwholesome lilac under the devil-sky. Despite that, sie looked amazing. Beautiful face so full of sorrow and worry and love.
‘I’m pregnant, Ollie.’
Ollie’s entire body shut down. Not a muscle moved – certainly not his lungs, probably not even his heart.
I must have triggered the necklace. More than once. And this is what hell is – the same world, but progressively worse each time you die.
‘I’m sorry,’ Lolo said. ‘I should have told you. I’ve wanted to tell you. But there’s never been a right time, has there? Please, this is Kohei Yamada. Listen to him. None of this is as bad as you think, Ollie. Really, it’s not.’
A man was standing next to hir, face stiff from anti-ageing treatments, wearing a windbreaker with a Connexion logo. Ollie drew down a punishing breath.
‘Hello, Ollie,’ Kohei said. ‘We want Nikolaj, too. And we know where she is. Interested?’
Interstellar Space
Year 5 AA
Six hours before the Morgan departed, Yirella sat on the edge of her bed, looking straight ahead at the cabin’s inactive texture wall. Once again, the file played in her optik. She’d viewed it at least once a day since she’d recorded it, and still she felt a mild pang of guilt.
I had no choice. I hope they understand.
‘You cannot keep on consulting people and putting off decisions until some mythical consensus deal appears,’ the recording of her said. ‘That’s not true leadership, and its lack is what we have been guilty of for thousands of years. Sometimes you just have to make the choice – because if you’re in the position to make that choice, you have the right to make it. Our circumstance means we have no choice but to do this, to create you. This civilization we are starting has a similarity with my generation. Like you, we were born unasked. We had no choice over the course of our lives because of the circumstances we found ourselves in. But unlike us, you will have freedom of choice. That is the most precious gift I can provide you. By the act of being born alone and empowered in this unique place, you have been granted freedom. You may choose to help a struggle that is now ten thousand years old . . . or not. That ability is the one thing that cannot be taken from you. When you exercise it, obviously I hope you choose to join me. But if not, I wish you well on your journey to whatever goal you have found for yourselves.’
The recording ended. The same soft sigh as always escaped her lips. Too late to worry now. She never did quite understand why regret burned her this way every time she played the recording. I did the right thing. Although it would be history that made that judgement. That’s if there’s anyone left to review human history.
Maybe it wasn’t guilt that caused all the angst but appreciation of the responsibility she’d undertaken, the arrogance. The scale of what she’d done was so momentous, and only one other person shared it – which didn’t lift any of the responsibility off her shoulders.
The cabin door opened, and Dellian came in, trailed by a remote loaded with all their possessions – a couple of cases that carried everything they’d accumulated. It didn’t seem much for two lives. People long back in history had acquired whole houses full of material memories.
But the way he smiled at the sight of her made the universe a better place. Not even
