It was almost like he had lost the test, but worse, for he never even got to finish. When he finally reached the door to his house, he took a moment to wipe his tears before going in, not wanting to show such emotion to his mother.
I just can’t believe that those ‘kind and loving’ gods she prays to could do something like this to a good kid like me. It was petty to blame the gods for what had happened, but it was technically their fault. I’ve been a good kid, reading my scriptures and praying, and now they do this to me? I had my heart set on becoming a Dragon my whole life. There wasn’t a moment growing up when I wanted to do something else, or even thought I’d have to. I’ve always lived my life around beating that test.
I just can’t believe it. This is something Laura or Fhyrr would do, but they were cast out of Zenobia long before I was born. They don’t have any power over what happens anymore, just over how we react and what we do about it and things like that. They could never brand me a priest just to see what would happen, unless I was like that Zhar guy who got everything taken away from him to test his faith . . .
But that was just a story, wasn’t it?
He sighed and pulled on his face. Maybe the gods aren’t even real! Maybe gods and devils are just stories meant to scare children. If that’s the case, then maybe . . . just maybe . . . He let the thought die there. He knew he was just bargaining at this point. He’d never really doubted the authenticity of the old stories.
Airing his thoughts had cooled him down a little and made him feel a bit better, but not much. He was still pretty angry about the whole priest business and was trying to figure a way out of it.
Then he considered running. It was a desperate plan, but it was a way out. Though, he knew his mother would be worried and never forgive herself, and he couldn’t do that to her.
“Nope,” he said aloud, “looks like I can’t even do that. Oh, what did I do to deserve this?” he screamed at the heavens, crying a little more.
He opened the door to his house slowly, not having the fortitude to do more than that. Though the door had been opened quietly, Lyrad’s mother could still sense that it was being opened and so she got up from her stew and walked over to Lyrad, giving him hugs and kisses. That didn’t help his mood any, and he just ambled around the house for a while. He felt like going to his room, but felt like talking to his father first, who he couldn’t find.
“Mom, where is Father?” Lyrad asked earnestly, hoping there wouldn’t be a tragic answer. His mind had gone back to the Zhar story.
“I don’t know, honey,” she said with all the sweetness she could muster. “I haven’t seen him since he left this morning. I’m sure he’s just running late. Now I see you’re upset, why don’t we talk about it a while?”
Lyrad gave a disheartened nod and sat down. “Eleanor? Err, Mom?”
Her ears perked up and she gave him a loving look. “Yes, dear? What is it?” She sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
Lyrad looked at her. Her eyes were puffy, like she’d been crying, too.
But why? What does she have to cry about? She didn’t lose her lifelong ambition!
He rubbed his sore, wet eyes once, and his mood soured. He thrust her hand away and turned his back to her. “Is it really necessary for me to become a priest? I mean, I don’t think I’m cut out for it; I’m not priest material,” he spat out all at once.
“Not priest material?” Eleanor repeated with a half-laugh. “Why, you say your prayers every day, you go to church on Jheriemsday, you read your scriptures.” She took a breath before continuing. “You are definitely a keeper of the Sabbath. Plus, you give your money and services out to needy people whenever you can. Honestly, honey, you’re practically a priest already!”
He let the fact that he’d snuck out several times on Jheriemsday to train slide. This wasn’t the time to bring that up, and if he’d fooled his parents this long, there was no point in letting them know about it now.
“I know all that, Mom,” he growled, balling his hands into fists. “Just listen to me for a moment! I do all kinds of violent things in training, and even in that test you interrupted I had to get violent. Priests can’t raise a hand against another, Mom. I’m just too violent, okay?”
Eleanor stood and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, and I suppose the next thing you’re gonna say is that sometime after taking the test, you would have been required to kill, and anyone who would willfully kill is unfit, eh?” She reflected his tone back at him as she spat the words, standing slightly hunched over him.
Lyrad was taken aback by it and slunk back against his chair.
“Well, guess what? You didn’t take that test. You were stopped so you wouldn’t have to kill, and now you never will, so you’re fit. Besides, it’s been preordained by the gods, it must be so!”
He slammed his hands on the table. “Curse the Ward of Priesthood! I don’t want it! I curse whatever god it is that gave it to me!”
He stood and felt like picking something up and throwing it, but decided against it at the last moment. Instead, he
