‘Oh my. That would be fabulous! I’d love to. Maybe we can meet up properly if you have time? Have lunch together?’
‘I’d like that.’ Lottie was relieved but still squirmed with guilt.
‘Let’s not lose touch again because I like to think we became friends, even though I’m Connor’s mother. I wanted to call you after you and Connor split up but he convinced me that it would make things worse. I’ve missed our shopping trips, Sunday lunch … Keegan is a lovely girl but it’s not the same. Gosh that’s so disloyal of me.’
‘You’ll get to know her better.’
‘I hope so. If they stay in the UK and don’t go back to Australia. I want them to have an amazing life but I’ve missed Connor and when they eventually get married one day or have children, I’ll miss out on seeing them too.’ Fiona fiddled with her spoon nervously, her eyes glinting. ‘Keegan says there’s the Internet – and they’ll also fly me out if that happens – but it’s not the same is it? After my scare, I try not to let the family know but I am worried that I’ll never see my grandchildren grow up.’
Lottie wanted to hug her. ‘I’m sure you will,’ she said. ‘But I also know how you feel. My parents were worried about Steph not being around for the twins, so I can’t imagine how she felt. I agree we need to make the most of every moment.’
‘We do! And even if Connor and Keegan stay here and start a family, what about Keegan’s parents? They’d be in the same boat as us.’ She shook her head. ‘All these shows on TV where people emigrate to sunny climes and want to start again. I’d never tell Connor, but I can’t watch them any more. There, I’m being silly.’
‘Not at all.’ She smiled at Fiona. ‘I hope they stay in this country, for your sake,’ Lottie said. ‘Keegan seems to love it here.’
Fiona frowned.
‘I mean Keegan sounds as if she loves it here. To come over and stay for so long,’ Lottie added. ‘Aarghh, is that the time? I’m afraid I do need to go now. I want to call Steph and see if she’s finished at the hospital yet and of course, we need to finish the costumes.’
‘Of course. OK, it’s been wonderful to see you and we’ll catch up again soon, I hope?’
‘Very soon,’ Lottie said, eager to escape before she blurted out the truth to Fiona. She exhaled in relief the moment she was out in the street. Hopefully Fiona would forgive her, and after the wedding was over, Lottie was determined not to lose touch again – no matter what Connor said or did. She’d reached the car when Steph rang, relieved that the scan was done and about to head home. At least, that part of the process was over, Lottie thought, as she drove to her sister’s with cake and the rest of the costumes. Now all they had to do was wait for the results.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Five days to the wedding
On Mondays, the Christmas tree centre was closed so, technically, it was Jay’s day off. However, a gale the previous evening had finally brought down a large branch from one of the oaks in the woods, blocking one of the main walking routes.
Needing solace and hoping to stop his churning mind, Jay had decided to clear away the branch. Even as he collected the chain saw from the truck, he couldn’t help thinking: was Lottie still in love with Connor Moran or not?
Did she even know herself?
He’d loved the feel of her arm in his and longed to kiss her again the way he had at the ball. His disappointment at finding she and Connor were once together had cooled a little. How could he refuse a chance to get close to her again?
Then, he’d seen the way she looked at Connor in the wedding run-through. She’d seemed transfixed by the man. Was it simply old memories surfacing or was Lottie falling for her ex all over again?
One thing Jay did know: he’d fallen for her and his vows not to let someone get close to him again had been broken.
The last thing he ever wanted was to fall for a woman who was in love with someone else and yet perhaps it was already too late …
In one last effort to tame his raging thoughts, he donned his safety gear and started to cut up the wood.
It was a clear day with a bitter wind blowing, but underneath his hoodie and hi-vis, Jay was sweating. He didn’t care. What else was he going to do? Mope about in his cottage? Go Christmas shopping? All the ‘normal’ things that people – families – did at this time of year felt off-limits to him.
Luckily Trevor didn’t care about Christmas and Jay had brought him along for company for both of them. He’d scurried about at a safe distance, sending piles of leaves flying into the air but was now sitting proudly on the driver’s seat of the truck, gazing over the steering wheel, as if he was in charge of operations, and not Jay.
Jay set the chainsaw in motion and was hard at work when Trevor shot out of the door and past him. He turned off the saw. ‘Trevor!’ he shouted and pulled off his ear defenders.
Trevor was already ‘greeting’ Connor on the path nearby. There was no way Jay would have heard him, with the saw going and ear defenders on. Trevor’s version of a greeting was to hare around Connor, snuffling at his boots.
Connor backed away. ‘Get off me!’
‘Trevor. Heel!’ he shouted.
Although Jay would have been happy to let Trevor jump all over Connor’s designer country clothes, he was aware that not everyone loved dogs.
After a quick sniff at Connor’s jeans, Trevor trotted back to Jay. ‘Truck, Trev,’ he ordered and miraculously, Trevor obeyed,
