She kept her fingers crossed, praying Connor wouldn’t admit where he’d spent the night. She didn’t think Jay would: however angry she was at his lack of trust, she had total faith in his loyalty and discretion.
Keegan gave her a hard stare. ‘Do you still love Connor?’
Lottie paused, aware she was steering a very fine line – gossamer thin – between brutal frankness and tact. However, the time for subtlety seemed to have gone.
‘No, I don’t, and I haven’t for a while now – for many months in fact.’
Keegan glared at her. ‘Why should I believe you? You’ve lied for him, after all.’
Lottie decided that her only policy was naked honesty, and hope that Keegan would believe her. ‘I’ll admit I was very upset when we split up but I came out of the experience knowing I had to put my regrets behind me. I was lucky enough to get the job at Firholme, which might not have happened if I’d stayed with Connor – and also, recently, I’ve met someone else I care about deeply.’
And someone who didn’t trust her – and who she felt would never move on from his trust issues.
Keegan’s eyes pierced her. ‘Is this the Christmas tree guy?’
Lottie’s mouth fell open in surprise. ‘Yes. How did you guess?’
She shrugged. ‘Like I say, I notice stuff … but I couldn’t tell if you had a crush on him or were interested in Connor … Now I know it was kind of both, but maybe not in the way I’d suspected.’
‘Um. Where’s Connor now?’ Lottie asked.
‘With his best man at their hotel. He’s hoping I’ll call him to say it’s all on again.’
Lottie seized her chance. ‘I can’t tell you to marry Connor. It’s your decision, but don’t call it off because of me, or something that happened in the past. I don’t love him now and I don’t want to marry him, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. It only means he was meant for someone else, not me.’ She took a breath. ‘If you think that someone is you – and you must have until yesterday – then don’t let our past ruin your dream.’
‘I was going to put a stop to it when I found out you’d both tricked me all these weeks.’
Lottie winced. She wasn’t out of the woods on this, not by a long way. Keegan picked up a hairbrush. ‘After I kicked him out, I lay awake half the night before I told Mum and Dad this morning. It was my mother who said I shouldn’t do anything hasty and should speak to you. It’s been horrible, having my hair done and wondering if the wedding will happen at all.’ Her eyes travelled to her dress. ‘If I’d ever even wear that dress. It kept mocking me. I felt such a fool.’
‘I’m sorry you felt like that. Truly.’
‘Like you said, maybe Connor and I need to clear the air and start over …’ Keegan sighed.
Lottie held her breath. Oh God, had she encouraged Keegan to leave Connor altogether? Personally, she was tempted to say, don’t go within a mile of Connor, but she never would. Maybe Connor and Keegan were a match made in heaven: like all the couples whose weddings she’d organised, she had no real way of predicting who would celebrate their golden anniversary and who wouldn’t last five minutes.
‘Erm …’
‘But it must have taken you some balls to come here,’ Keegan said. ‘Not that you have any actual balls, but you know what I mean.’
‘It was the least I could do, to give you the whole story. Thanks for at least hearing me out.’
‘Mmm. Well, I wanted to hear your side of it before I make my final decision. I pride myself on being tough but fair.’
‘Thank you,’ Lottie said. ‘Um. Do you think it would be a good idea to hear Connor out too?’
Keegan sighed. ‘I suppose I should at least let him come over so we can talk.’
‘Whatever you think best.’ Lottie felt that a wrong word now could tip the balance either way. ‘I also should be getting back to Firholme now.’
Keegan seemed almost surprised then arched an eyebrow. ‘Because you have a wedding to coordinate?’
‘Maybe …’ Lottie said, with a hopeful uplift.
Keegan nodded. ‘I’ll let you know what I decide after I’ve spoken to him.’
‘OK,’ Lottie said, thinking of the logistical operation of getting everyone to Firholme, through the snow at what was increasingly short notice. ‘But can it be quite soon?’ she said.
Keegan picked up her phone, gingerly, careful of her freshly manicured nails. ‘I’ll call him now and let you have my decision.’
Chapter Thirty-Five
‘Well?’ Shayla demanded the moment Lottie shut the car door.
Lottie leaned back against the car seat, her eyes closed and a headache starting. ‘It’s in the lap of the gods, but just in case, we’d better be prepared.’
There was no time to dwell on what might happen. She made some calls and by the time they’d arrived at Firholme, Operation Wedding was back in full swing. The council snow ploughs were too busy clearing the main roads to reach the lane to the estate. Jay and the team had cleared the driveway with the tractor plough and were carving routes to the house and café. He was outside with his staff, in wellies and hi-vis, shovelling away the last few feet of snow from the door of the main house.
Shayla dropped Lottie off in the courtyard. A quick check of her phone again still showed nothing from Keegan. She’d felt hopeful when she left but her optimism was dwindling fast. The sight of all her colleagues making a huge effort, possibly for nothing, wasn’t helping.
Jay hurried over to her. ‘Is it on?’ he asked. Trevor cocked his head on one side, as if to ask the same question.
‘The jury’s still out.’
He nodded. ‘We’re going ahead on the assumption it’s happening. I’ve asked my deputy to manage the Christmas tree sales today and we’d have
