“Well,” she drawls with a slight shrug, “maybe that’s why he didn’t bring it up then. Maybe he thought it’d be embarrassing too.”
I snort at that. “Doubtful. Brayden doesn’t get embarrassed.”
For whatever reason, he’s just decided to be nonchalant about the kiss—and I need to be the same way. But how can I possibly act like that kiss wasn’t a big deal? It was a HUGE deal. And I thought he felt the same way.
HE SAID IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
“Gianna and I are exchanging theories now,” Hailee pipes up, her eyes glued to her phone, “I’ll let you know what we come up with.”
She leaves the room, and Mom shakes her head before looking at me again. “Honey, this just sounds like a misunderstanding…and misunderstandings can only be fixed by talking. If you really want to know how he feels about all of this, you might have to be the one who brings it up first.”
Ew, yeah, I don’t like that idea at all.
But I keep my opinion to myself, and nod instead. “Thanks, Mom.”
I wasn’t really looking for advice…but sure, why not?
“Mm-hmm,” she hums, as if she just solved my whole dilemma, “I’m going to go finish working on dinner. All right?”
I nod again, and thankfully she leaves without saying anything else. She even closes the door for me. Nice.
Five seconds later, I’m at my window peering through my purple curtains to see if he’s outside by chance.
He’s not.
It doesn’t really matter though, because it’s not like I’d go out there and talk to him anyway. I’m not bringing up the “couple thing” first. If he doesn’t care—then I don’t care.
“Dang it, Megan!” I huff, turning away from the window. “It was just a kiss!”
One kiss doesn’t make you and him a couple!
Oh great, I guess that’ll be the new phrase I have to tell myself now.
One kiss doesn’t make you and him a couple.
Ugh. I can't even talk to Lora about this because I'm not supposed to “whine” anymore, and she’ll just say that I need to talk to Brayden again.
Not telling her about the kiss seems kind of wrong though.
She is my best friend, after all.
And technically she only said I couldn’t whine if I went through with my “focus- on-Liam-to-distract-myself-from-Brayden” plan, which I didn’t do. Well—I started to, but that obviously failed.
I yank my phone out of my pocket and call her.
After the phone rings a million times, she finally answers.
“Make it quick, girl, I’m supposed to be finishing my homework.”
“Oh,” I say with a wince, “yeah…this isn’t that kind of phone call.”
She proceeds to sigh. “Judging by the tone of your voice, I’m guessing this is a Brayden phone call?”
“That would be correct.”
“Megan! The deal was that you couldn’t whine about him anymore, remember?”
“But I’m not doing my Liam idea anymore!” I don’t hesitate to assure her. “You were right, it was a stupid idea. But, Lora, we have a bigger issue now.”
She mutters something I can’t hear. “Okay, what is it? Go ahead and tell me.”
“We kissed!” I blurt out. “Brayden and I kissed today!”
“WHAT?!” she exclaims, her raised voice causing me to momentarily hold the phone away from my ear. “When? When the heck did that happen?”
So, I tell her the details. Well…the important ones, anyway.
And then I end with a pitiful groan. “See? This is why I needed to talk to you! Everything’s ruined now!”
“Just because Brayden didn’t beg you to be his girlfriend again?” she asks with an unimpressed tsk. “Megan, he didn’t even move that fast when we were in middle school. Usually there’s more than just one sort of date before becoming an official couple…I think you’re overreacting.”
My mouth drops at that. “You think I’m overreacting?”
“A little bit, yeah. And I mean, I get it, you’re excited that he likes you. Plus, there’s the fact that you guys kissed—but to jump right back into being a couple doesn’t sound like the best idea.”
Oh my gosh, I think she might actually have a good point. Nooooooo.
“Well, I’m going to let that sink in with you,” she drawls, sounding a tad bit smug, “and I’m going to finish my homework. If you absolutely need my opinion about anything else—shoot me a text, wouldja?”
“Gotcha. See you tomorrow.”
And then she tells me “bye” before hanging up.
Even if she does have a good point, I still feel like Brayden and I should’ve discussed what our relationship status is at this point.
We went from classmates, to dating, to official couple, to exes, to nothing, to neighbors (but technically still exes), to…friends-ish, and then to whatever-the-heck-we-are-now. Friends-ish that like each other and decided to kiss? How ridiculous does that sound?
Wanting to know where we stand isn’t overreacting…it makes perfect sense.
Why can’t Brayden see that too?
Chapter 23: The Right Choice
Last night, Hailee and Gianna concluded that—just like in episode twenty-one of Cloverdale—Brayden is having second thoughts.
About me. About us. About the kiss.
And while Hailee thinks that I should confront Brayden as soon as possible, Gianna is convinced that Brayden will talk to me about his feelings when he’s ready to…and in the meantime, I should give him space.
I don’t really like either of those options, but I’ve decided to give him space like Gianna suggested. It feels weird taking relationship advice from a twelve-year-old, but I don’t know what else to do. So, I’m giving him space, and I’m NOT going to talk about the kiss OR about us being a couple. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking about the kiss or us being a couple.
Far. From. It.
“I can’t believe you’re listening to Gianna instead of
