“You could have just told her I was born sterile; it happens you know.”
“Yeah, well with my luck, she would have labelled your dick as an absolute must-try… the way she always flirts with you is bad enough as it is, thanks.”
He takes my hand and holds it in his lap.
“You know I think we should adopt one day, right? I mean as soon as you get over the whole we aren’t together shit and actually believe I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not interested in hate-fucking your mom.”
I smile at his beautiful grin that emits nothing but genuine honesty.
“I still can’t believe you want kids after everything you’ve been through.”
He shrugs and nods, completely confident.
“Of course. Little badass Vixens and Whiskeys, we could love the hell out of and show them the awesome parts of who we are. Don’t you want that too?”
I lift a shoulder, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. It’s too much, seeing him so excited while I feel so guilty about so many things.
“I don’t know, Pax. I’m on the fence about it. I’m not feeling well, so I think I’ll head back to the guesthouse and nap,” I say as I stand.
“Is it because I mentioned kids?”
“No… I’m just still feeling the effects of my hangover,” I lie. “Meet me there when you’re finished?”
“You know it,” he says kissing my hand.
When I think about the kind of man Pax is, I know I have got to be the luckiest person on the planet to be loved by him. And if I am completely honest with myself, I know either way, if he screwed Satan or not, I would still be in love with him, and I’d probably forgive him. I can also admit that every time he leaves, in my heart, I know he’s coming back.
The thing that terrifies me about giving in and making us official has nothing to do with who he is, but it has everything to do with who I am.
Six
The Secrets We Keep
The tension between Pax and Gabe has continued to grow over the last week, and it is at an all-time high. They literally can’t pass by each other without having a verbal pissing match and it’s infuriating. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even enter the main house because Pax refuses to let me go alone, and Gabe, the fucking dickwad, is always walking around shirtless as if he owns the place and tries to make small talk with me about the upcoming trip.
Thank God they are leaving tonight.
I haven’t even been able to find out if it’s a real trip to Morocco or an actual plan to throw Satan’s ass in rehab, because there is no getting Pax off of my ass long enough to ask Gabe.
I guess it really doesn’t matter though… I’ll gladly take a week or two away from Mother.
As for me and Pax, it’s Friday, so we are preparing for another kegger down at the Club.
Jack and Jimmy are hosting which is nice because it means I’m free to drink and destress while they hold down the fort and holy hell do, I need this.
It’s been insane trying to avoid Pax’s hate-fuck advances all week. I can tell he knows something’s up, so I figure once I’m drunk my conscience won’t be an issue anymore because fuck am I horny.
I glance over at Pax, watching as he sets up the folding chairs around the tables. I’m excited because tonight we get to test out the new sound system Jimmy installed, and I know what song is going on full blast first. Tonight is going to be a bash we will never forget.
“Are you daydreaming right now?” Pax asks, tossing his shirt at me.
“Yep! I totally was… and why may I ask, are you stripping?”
“I’m hot.”
I laugh at his childish grin.
“I can see that, but you make my job difficult when you force me to stare at all of those uncaged creatures,” I admit, continuing to apply new drip spouts to the liquor bottles.
“Well, I can easily correct the issue for you, Vix. My anaconda has definitely been feeling a bit neglected lately, and the sight of you in that skin-tight dress is also quite distracting.”
“Too bad,” I mutter, trying to ignore him, “we have less than an hour to get this place ready and I haven’t even started polishing the glasses yet.”
“Excuses…” he states, jerking the bottle from my hand. “I’m getting tired of them,” he says, pressing his nose to mine. “It’s been a week of this shit already, and either you are going to tell me what’s up, or I’m just going to have to hate-fuck it out of you.”
The warning growl, great.
His scent alone is intoxicating, but it’s his hand underneath my skirt and in between my legs that has my attention and forces me to swallow.
“Nothing’s up, Pax.”
“Then stop pretending you don’t want this,” he says, continuing to taunt me with his hand. “You’re already damp which means you want this dick… so will you please stop avoiding me and let me do what I do best?”
“I fucking can’t!” I snap. “Now just go and finish setting up the chairs already!”
He raises his hands in the air and backs off, his face riddled with concern.
“Fuck, Kirsten, I don’t get you right now. It’s like you have all of this pent-up emotion, yet you refuse to let me in on the issue, let alone ease you down, and I just want you to talk to me.”
“Well I can’t because there is nothing to talk about, now just drop it please.”
