He took her hand. “The last thing I’d ever call you is petty. No-judgment zone here. Just tell me what you’re feeling.”
“I feel like an outsider. I know I have no right to feel that way. These women let me into their lives. They were doing fine without me. But now that I’m in the group, I can’t help but feel like there are secrets that I’m not a part of, and that hurts my feelings.”
“Oh, Izzy, that’s a completely normal reaction. It’s hard when you feel like you’re the one on the outside looking in.”
She nodded. “The weird thing is that I’ve never felt this way before. They’ve always gone out of their way to make me feel included. Even though they all went to law school together and have that tight bond, I didn’t feel excluded. Then the bombing happened, and everything has gotten weird.”
“How do you mean?”
“Layla isn’t being forthcoming about something, but I have no idea what it is. The others know it too. I can read it in their expressions. So I’m like the idiot in the dark. And it’s clear that they have no intention of bringing me in.”
Aiden was quiet for a moment. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“I think we established that a long time ago.”
“Do the three of them know what happened to you?”
She sucked in a breath. “No. Only Bailey knows, actually.”
“Well, maybe Layla has something in her past that she only wants certain people to know. It’s a matter of respecting her feelings. It isn’t a reflection on you at all.”
“Wow. I guess I hadn’t thought about it that way. Now I feel like a jerk for pouting.” Izzy hated that self-centered feeling, because it was more out of a lack of confidence than anything else.
“I wouldn’t read too much into it. Give her the time and space she needs. She and Viv just went through a crazy traumatic event.”
She looked up at him. “You’re right, as usual.”
He laughed. “Wait a minute. You’re the one who usually has a lockdown on that category. Not me.”
She smiled. Being with Aiden made her happy, but more than that, she felt completely safe for the first time in a long time. They were building something together, and that meant everything to her. “We can share in being right.”
He put his arm around her. “Sounds good to me. How is your work going?”
“I’m still uncertain about whether I should start looking for other jobs.”
“NCIS still doesn’t feel like your career path?”
She shrugged. “I wish I had more certainty, but I don’t. I just can’t help but feel like there’s something else I should be doing.”
“You don’t have to decide right away. All the experience you’re getting at NCIS will help you wherever you decide to go.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure I want to be in law enforcement. I became a cop because of my dad, and I don’t regret that. But I’m wondering if I need to start figuring out my own path.”
“Any ideas?”
“You’ll laugh at me if I tell you.”
“I will not.”
She hadn’t told anyone this. Not a soul. But Aiden was her safe space. “I haven’t made any decisions yet, but I signed up to take the LSAT.”
“The LSAT? As in law school?” His dark eyes widened.
“See? You think it’s an awful idea.”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t. I actually think it’s a great idea. But I have to ask—are you sure this isn’t just you wanting to have more in common with your friends?”
“No, because only one of them even practices law at this point. This is truly about me.”
“What type of law?”
She took another breath, because this is where the rubber would meet the road. “I want to be a prosecutor.”
Silence fell between them. Then Aiden spoke. “You want to go after guys like the sergeant.”
They’d agreed a long time ago not to speak his name. Not to give him that power over her. “Yeah. I do.”
He took her hand. “I’ll support you one hundred percent.” He paused. “But you realize that nothing you do is ever going to change what happened.”
“I do, but I also believe that if I can harness some of my pain and frustration into helping others, in the end, it will also help me.”
After another quiet moment, Aiden said, “So, the LSAT, huh? How do you think Marco will handle this?”
Marco was her boss at NCIS, and she had no intention of telling him anything. “Right now he doesn’t need to know. I need to make sure I can actually get into a good law school before anything else happens.”
“Would you quit NCIS?”
She’d thought long and hard about this. “I think I’d have to. If I’m going to do this, I need to do it right, and that means complete dedication. Let’s see how I do on the test and then go from there.”
“Whatever you need from me, just say it.” He squeezed her hand. “But if you decide for whatever reason not to take that path, you can still do a lot of good at NCIS. Don’t forget all the good you’ve already done in the short time you’ve been there.”
“I know. And I’m not going to make any rash decisions, but I have to explore this option. I’ve told you before, but your dad really changed my life in the best of ways. He encouraged me to seek counseling, and that has truly helped. And, of course, working with him is how I met you.” She smiled, and warmth filled her heart.
“God has perfect timing, Izzy, and seeing that play out in our lives has been pretty amazing.”
She had stepped away from her faith for years after her father’s murder, but as part of confronting what had happened to her at the hands of the sergeant, she had turned back to God. It hadn’t been easy. Largely because she
