It hadn’t occurred to her until the other night at the Prestons’ ball that there might have been something wrong between them. This wasn’t the occasion to discuss such things, but the manner between them at the moment eased her feelings on the subject considerably. They couldn’t possibly be on the outs if they could continue to joke as they once did.
Relief swirled within her at the thought. Despite everything, losing her friendship with Michael would have been a disaster. She could gain the world’s best match in every respect and still feel a loss if he were no longer in her life. Though marriage would certainly separate them to a degree, she would adamantly refuse to let it part them.
She would not give up Michael.
“Perhaps if you sang for Miss Lawson,” Charlotte suggested as the first course of supper was brought out, “she might see you in a more favorable light. After all, it is one of your greatest gifts, and nobody knows about it but me.”
Michael gave her a sidelong look, his eyes holding a knowing light she knew well. “I only sing for you, dear.”
Warmth hit Charlotte’s chest and rose quickly into her lips, prompting a wide smile. His answer was the same as it had been for years, and anything else as a response would have been a disappointment or a shock. As far as she knew, Charlotte was the only one who had heard Michael sing, and while some might have considered that a crime against humanity, given the splendor of his voice, the pair of them had never cared about it. Michael was not one for display, and Charlotte herself did not play, so a duet was never something they had been forced into.
Once or twice, it had occurred to Charlotte to wonder if Michael’s mother knew about his abilities, but ultimately, that was neither here nor there. So long as his voice was their particular secret, all was well enough.
“How goes your great plan?” Michael asked after a moment, his attention on his food. “Any success?”
“Not yet,” Charlotte told him, swallowing her own bite of food, “but we’ve only just begun. Grace trussed me up the other night for emphasis… Well, you saw that.”
Michael nodded. “I did. Impressive. How much did you hate it?”
She nudged him hard with her elbow. “It was lovely, I’ll have you know. I haven’t felt that pretty in ages, and though it was a great deal of fuss, I think it helped.”
“With what? You’ve never lacked for attention.”
There was something in the tone of those words that Charlotte did not care for at all. Something hard, she would have called it bitter had the speaker been anyone other than Michael. As it was him, she could not say what lay behind it.
But she did not like it.
“The right sort of attention,” she hissed, focusing on her meal and keeping her table manners in a ladylike fashion, “from the right sort of people. I have been a fixture in Society, which means everyone is used to seeing me everywhere all the time. I am not likely to make any sort of impression now unless I make some drastic changes, which is what we have done.”
“Steady on,” Michael muttered, smiling for the effect of others around them. “I wasn’t insulting your efforts.”
She’d have glared at him had they been anywhere else. “Weren’t you? I haven’t seen you about in ages.”
“You haven’t sent for me. You could have done.”
The flippant words held the same sharp edge his previous words had done, and they rankled just as much. “When have you ever needed an invitation?”
“We aren’t sixteen anymore, Charlotte. I cannot just call without a reason and have it pass the gossips unnoticed.” He paused in the act of reaching for his drink again, then shook his head and continued. “It wouldn’t be right, and it wouldn’t be fair.”
Charlotte ignored appearances and propriety, staring at Michael blatantly and without shame. “Right and fair? To whom, Michael? Everyone knows we are friends, as evidenced by this seating arrangement. No one would suspect anything untoward. They haven’t done so yet.”
Michael exhaled roughly and straightened, keeping his gaze ahead rather than on her. “To me, Charlotte. If I am always tied to you, it will make things deuced awkward, if not impossible, to find a wife for myself. How can I attach myself to someone else if everyone assumes that the only woman in my life is you? You are not the only one seeking a change of situation.”
Nothing could have prepared her for those words from him, and she could barely comprehend the meaning behind them. Was he saying he wanted to get married? When had that been decided?
Before or after she had decided to do so?
“You’re pursuing matrimony?” Charlotte whispered. “When was this decided? You never said.”
“I don’t tell you everything.”
They ate in silence, and the space between them might as well have held its very own blizzard for all the warmth there.
It wasn’t right, her arguing with him about this sort of thing. She was pursuing matrimony, so why shouldn’t Michael? Just because they had never spoken of it did not mean he should not, or could not. He was free to do as he liked without reference to Charlotte. It was entirely possible that her decision to marry had given him cause to consider the topic and, especially given his mother’s wishes, give in and pursue the same.
Why should they fall out over it?
“No, of course,” she murmured, unsure if he would hear her, or if he’d care to. “Nor should you have to.” Forcing herself to brighten, she made a show of enjoying her meal. “Have you entered into a
