“You don’t have to do this,” Amanda said as she glanced up at his handsome face. He was working on the beginnings of a beard. She didn’t hate it.
“I want to. I know sad and I know exhausted. You look like you’ve had enough of both. For real. I won’t bother you. I didn’t forget what you said. You’re not interested. Heard it loud and clear. But . . .” He shrugged, tilting his head to the side. “Come on down. Use as many or as few of the amenities as you want. Eat some bomb-ass food and then battle Sunday night traffic to brave another week with your asshole coworker.”
“Shit.” She was still holding Dru’s now lukewarm carrot soup. “I have to get back.” That seemed to be enough to break them both from some spell Amanda didn’t realize they were under. She didn’t realize how close to each other they still were standing. She didn’t realize how badly she still wanted to kiss him, how badly she wished weekends with him could be a reality that wouldn’t cost her her job.
“I’ll—I gotta go.”
“Okay. Hit me up if you change your mind.”
“I will. Thanks.” Amanda flashed him a weak smile and then turned back to her car. Sam waved at her when she buckled in behind the wheel, then headed back inside toward the restaurant. When she pulled down to the mouth of the alley she checked both ways for traffic. And just before she pulled back out onto the street she could have sworn she’d seen two paparazzi on the opposite corner. She prayed to God that Sam wasn’t the one they were looking for.
* * *
Sam kept his eyes focused on the mouth of the trail ahead. He’d set out right at sunrise, taking his black mare out to start their day. He thought another long ride with Majesty would help take his mind off everything. Usually the time he spent in the saddle helped clear his head. He could take in the sounds of nature around him, or talk to Majesty about whatever he was thinking. By the time he made it back to the stables Sam would have found some sort of clarity, but today the quiet just gave him more time to overthink and overanalyze. Again and again.
He’d had one hell of a week. Getting kicked to the curb by Amanda. Being offered several roles, each more reductive and stereotypical than the next; more DMs from women like Dru Anastasia, who he had no interest in dating; running into Amanda again. Something about her had him all messed up.
He’d had every intention of leaving her alone like she’d asked. He wasn’t going to probe Helene for her number when she got back from her honeymoon. He wasn’t even going to ask how she was doing, but when he saw her in Delightly, upset as hell, something in him knew he couldn’t just let her walk away without at least checking on her. If she accepted his offer for a weekend on the ranch, he’d continue to keep his word and his distance, unless she changed her mind. He’d do the work of getting over whatever feelings he’d developed for her in the short time they’d known each other, but he realized as he and Majesty had taken their morning stroll that Walls had been onto something.
His breakup with Natalie had been what it was. A necessary end. They weren’t in the same place emotionally and it became pretty obvious to him that he didn’t want to get to that place with her. Still there may have been something to Walls’s suggestion that he’d been moping. Sulking even. Sam was unhappy and unfulfilled. And now it was clear to him love was the thing he was looking for. He’d never admit that out loud, not in those words, but it was the way he felt.
Maybe seeing Zach finally so happy with Evie and seeing just how in love Helene and Ignacio were had something to do with it. He’d been working so hard, he’d pushed his own emotions to the side so he could focus on the emotional needs of the characters he was playing, but clearly his heart was ready to take priority again. He was ready for a boo to call his own. It didn’t have to be Amanda McQueen. It couldn’t be. She didn’t fucking like him. But he had to start opening himself up soon. Maybe ask some people he trusted if they could set him up. He wanted a certain kind of happiness.
Sam dismounted as the barn came into view. He had a call after lunch, but for the most part he’d cleared his day. His brothers and Lilah were working, and Corie and his grandmother were busy helping Evie plan for her and Zach’s wedding. He could go back into the city, but after weeks and weeks of award show–related engagements, press, meetings, a wedding, and more press and meetings, he felt like he hadn’t had any time to rest at all. Maybe if Amanda didn’t come out he’d take advantage of the ranch’s amenities himself.
He took his time letting Majesty cool down before he watered her and removed her tack. He heard Zach’s voice as his brother came around the side of the barn.
“’Sup, man. Chris told me you were out here.”
“Taking an early break?” It was barely nine thirty.
“Yeah. Jesse just found out one of the vendors is owned by a casual white supremacist so we’re terminating the contract. It’s been—” Zach sighed before he took off his Stetson and scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s been a fucking morning. I just wanted to come out here and commune with Steve and Bam Bam for a moment.” Sam smiled at the way Zach treated his and Evie’s horses like they were their children. He could relate as he gently ran his palm down Majesty’s side. “What’s going on with you? You
