There was a first step to everything and admitting his weakness was the first rung in the ladder to recovery. In this instance, Novah was his weakness, and he needed her. More than his next breath. He wanted to make sure she was okay.
The bittersweet pain in his balls was constant. He wrapped his fingers around his semi-flaccid dick and one pump of his tight fist brought the appendage hard and throbbing. He pumped his rod and what normally would have taken some time to bring release to his body now took less than thirty seconds before he shot his wad like a fire hose. Cleaning up, he was disappointed that he didn’t feel the usual gratification. Instead, the release only seemed to have stoked the fire a bit more.
Shutting off the water, he stepped out but didn’t bother drying off. He wrapped the towel around his hips and stepped into the dark outer room. He breathed in the familiar scent then saw the silhouette sitting in the chair. In anticipation, he switched on the bedside lamp.
Novah looked tiny, almost vulnerable, and it broke the chains inside him. She’d never known how much he’d loved her because he’d been piss-poor about telling her—and showing her. He realized that now and wished he could take a time machine back.
She looked worried. Her lips were thin. Had she been crying?
Damn Langley.
“Tell me.” he growled.
“Okay,” she said softly.
“Everything.” He took the three steps to his open suitcase, rummaged through the few packed items until he found what he was looking for. He dragged the towel off his body, uncaring that she was watching and stuck his feet into the boxers, pulling them up onto his hips.
Just breathe. Just remember that you have VK to worry about too.
“He was drunk,” came her quiet words.
Forcing a blank expression on his face, he turned and tossed the damp towel over the end of the bed. “I don’t care if he was ten sheets to the wind, did he touch you?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“You let him touch you?” he growled.
Something dark flashed over her features. “I was wrong for coming here.” She pushed up from the chair and made her way toward the door.
Let her go. Let her go.
“Fine. I don’t care anyway.”
She stopped at the door, hand firm on the knob, then turned back to him with blazing eyes. “Problem is, I think you do care.”
“Do you understand how much control it’s taking not to wring that bastard’s neck?” He gave a shrug. “Tell me, Novah. But don’t defend him.”
Dropping her hold on the knob, she stepped toward him, wrapped her arms around her chest, and he saw how tired she looked. He wanted to hold her, but he couldn’t walk that tightrope again. Couldn’t give himself over only to have her reject him hours later. If only he could submerge those protective feelings deep inside of him and move on. He’d built some impenetrable walls to keep his heart safe, but she’d been the only one that he couldn’t keep out.
That made him vulnerable.
“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” Her eyes bore into him.
He blew out a long breath and ate up the space between them. He reached for her hand, covering her fingers with his. “I became the protector of you the minute you stole my heart.”
Her eyes filled with unshed tears and her bottom lip quivered. “Langley didn’t hurt me. He was feeling sorry for himself.” She touched Egan’s bare chest and he felt a raw sensation fill his body. His dick hardened, betraying the logic in his head.
“I’m like a rubber band. I don’t know how much more I can stretch. Can you see what you do to me? How I still want you, need you, after so long?”
CHAPTER TWELVE
NOVAH HAD KNOWN coming to his room would be like walking into a war zone, but there came a point when a woman had to make a hard decision and she had come to terms with what she needed to do. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here, with him, even if she could end up spiraling out of control again.
Here she was and all she could think was how good he smelled and how sexy he looked.
She could have easily told him what happened between her and Langley, a part of her wanted to tell him, but she knew that would be unfair. Egan would rip Langley’s head off his shoulders and then what would happen? Egan would suffer because Langley would make sure that it happened.
“You turn me inside out.” A vein popped out on the side of his neck as a primal sound escaped his throat.
“Sorry,” she whispered in a shaky breath. Could he see what he did to her too? She could melt right there into the wood floor.
“I don’t want your apologies.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, her eyelids, one ear. He still held her hand in his and he carried it to his crotch. “See what you do to me?” He gently pushed her back against the door, sandwiching her between the solid wood and the iron wall of his body. “It’s too late for sorry. You know very well what you do to me. You’ve sunk those claws into me, and I still haven’t found a way to rid myself of your hold.”
“I’ll go. I should…go.”
His chuckle reminded her of fingernails down a chalkboard. “You think that’ll work?” He shook his head. He seemed to sway
