“Do you ever remember Paul mentioning a vacation home? Or a place his family vacationed?” Jameson asked.
The mere mention of Paul had every muscle tightening.
“Wasn’t close enough to the man for him to share his vacation plans. Nix or Weston might know, those two seemed to be the only ones who could stomach listening to his bullshit.”
That was because Nixon had been their leader, he’d felt it was his job to pull the team together, to keep them a cohesive unit. Nix had managed to do that while they were on the battlefield—there was no room for personal dislike if you wanted to stay alive. However, stateside had been a different story. Paul had been an outsider, his constant ego-driven need for competition had gotten old fast. He was exhausting to be around. Weston had seemed to be the only one in the group who could put up with him on a personal level. Chasin had tried at times but it never lasted long. Jameson had straight out disliked Paul from the beginning—he’d actually had words with Nix to try to get Paul placed on another team.
“What if—”
“Don’t go there,” Jameson cut off his morose thought. “Rhode didn’t find anything at Beatrice’s house. He hasn’t been to Patricia’s yet. If he doesn’t find anything by the time we get there, we will. They have her, Holden, we both know it. We just have to find where they took her. And there’s a possibility they’ll call in a ransom demand. They want Paul’s death gratuity and life insurance.”
Christ. Holden hadn’t thought about a ransom. He picked his phone up off his lap and dialed Nixon.
“Yeah?” Nix answered.
“Do you have Charleigh’s cell?”
There was a beat of silence and Holden knew Nix was putting together the pieces.
“Fuck. I don’t know. I didn’t think to look for it. I’ll ask around and if we don’t have it, I’ll send Alec to her apartment.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask about Charleigh. The warring inside him had grown to an all-new high. Holden wished he could clone himself. He’d never felt such a crushing need to be in two places at once.
“There’s been no change here. How far out are you?” Nix tore through his inner turmoil.
“No change? Are the doctors concerned? She should’ve woken up by now.”
Or maybe it was better she was unconscious and not caught in a living nightmare. Leigh-Leigh would freak out when she woke up and found Faith had been kidnapped. She would lose her ever-loving mind and probably need to be sedated. Yeah, maybe it was best she was asleep.
“They’ve assured us that she’s stable and her body’s doing what it needs to heal. I called her parents. They’re on their way up. I held off as long as I could but there will be things that doctors will need consent for and her mother had medical power of attorney.”
All sorts of horrible visions invaded Holden’s mind.
“Consent to do what? I thought she was—”
“Slow down, brother,” Nix admonished. “Charleigh’s gonna be fine. But her parents had the right to know. There’s some scans the doctor wants to do, that’s all.”
Holden didn’t believe his friend. There was more going on. However, he was grateful for the temporary lie. He had to push back the fear and find Faith.
“We’re almost there. I’ll be in touch soon.”
He disconnected without thanking Nixon for watching over Charleigh. Separate. I have to keep everything separate, he reminded himself.
“This isn’t the best time to bring this up, but we need to talk about it.”
Holden braced for the onslaught of guilt and anger to explode—part of what he’d been trying to avoid. He couldn’t let his guilt prevent him from accomplishing his mission.
“I’m barely holding on,” he admitted. “And every minute that passes, my fingertips slip closer to the edge. I can’t go there. If I think about Faith, about what I’ve done, the years I’ve wasted, I will not be able to control myself.”
“I think you’re already out of control. That’s why we need to talk about this now. Before we find her and you lose all sense of reality. You’re going to need to keep a tight rein on your anger. Faith cannot see you unleash the beast.”
Jameson was right about that. Faith couldn’t see the type of man he really was.
“You take Faith and get her safe. I’ll handle the rest.”
“No, Holden. You’re taking Faith and I’m handling the rest.”
“James—”
“I know why you left Charleigh.”
It took Holden three long, slow blinks for Jameson’s words to penetrate his brain. He knew? That was impossible.
“You might think you know, but you don’t.”
“I do. You likely don’t remember telling me because you were so trashed it’s a miracle you didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. You came back to my place after Charleigh told you she was pregnant and you started drinking. By the time I got home, you were fucked-up and ready to talk. I’d never seen a man so destroyed. You told me everything, including being a royal dick and sending Charleigh to Paul.” Jameson paused and he let out a long sigh. “Damn, Holden, I tried to talk you around, begged you to let me call Charleigh and stop her so you could explain. I was reaching for my phone, not caring what you wanted, but something you said stopped me.”
“What’d I say?”
“Actually, it was more the way you looked. I’m not trying to unman you right now, but when the toughest brother you know breaks down in tears and pleads with you, it’s hard not to cave. You told me that you wanted it to be yours so badly that you couldn’t witness her carrying Paul’s child. At the time I didn’t get it, I thought there was
