"Well you know, I've been thinking, if youfound yourself a man, that you liked this time, maybe you would bealright."
"You're worried, aren't you?" she askedseeing the frown on his face as he said that.
"You don't think I can keep my place up.You're worried when you leave that I won't make it. You can't worryabout me. Jim worried too, that's why I was beholdin' to him. Iguess, if the truth were known, that's why I married him. But Irealize now, it's not the right reason to marry. I did a lot ofgrowing up the year we were married. I won't make that mistakeagain. Except for the occasional conversation, marriage didn't holdmuch for me. So I won't be looking for a husband."
"Look," he stopped the wagon to look at her."That's not what a real marriage is about, Kate. You married forall the wrong reasons." He shrugged.
Her face flushed again.
He drove the wagon back on the road oncemore.
"I know I did. I see it all now. So whatmakes you think I want to jump back into that again?"
"It's just that there aren't a lot of placesa woman can go to work and make an honest living, Kate. And no, Idon't think unless you get some help out here, that you can makeit, alone."
"Well, maybe I'll get a job at the saloon,and you can come visit me." She teased.
He stopped the wagon suddenly this time,"Come visit you? Do you know what they do?"
"Of course I do. I'm not that dumb." Shefelt her cheeks grow red. "I was just teasing."
"You'll never be that kind of woman!" heinsisted.
In a way his words flattered her, but again,maybe he didn't think she was good enough to be one of thosegirls.
Suddenly, she moved toward him, leaning intohim and on tiptoes to kiss him for all she was worth. She meant toprove something to him, but at that moment everything changed. Theair became thicker, the sun became hotter. She couldn't think, shecouldn't breathe, and the funny thing was, she didn't want to. Hislips were pillow soft, encouraging her to take her fill of him. Thekiss was mesmerizing because the minute her lips touched his, heseemed to melt into her and take complete control of her. Herbreathing was erratic, her heart pounded, and the kiss went onforever. She didn't want it to end, it was unlike anything she everexperienced. Maybe he was right, she'd never make a saloon girl,she didn't know enough. And yet she knew instinctively that thisman could teach her everything she needed to know.
When she finally pulled away, he lookedstunned. HE got very quiet, almost as though he was ignoring hercompletely.
"Well, do you still think I’m not goodenough to be one of them?" she asked boldly, her face scarletnow.
How had she been so bold?
"You've certainly got all the rightinstincts," he murmured softly, "but could you kiss a man like thatwhen he's taking your clothes off and wanting to take you like yourhusband did?"
"My husband raped me," she protested.
"Well, what do you think those drunkencowboys do? Most of them don't care how rough they are, how dirtyeither."
"Are you telling me what my husband did wasnormal?" she almost shouted.
His eyes bore into her and his expressionsoftened on her. "No," he smiled gently at her. "I'm telling youthat you don't deserve that kind of treatment."
"Is there any difference in one man andanother?" she asked her voice softening from his sweet remark.
"I guess you'll have to find that out foryourself." He said lowly.
"Do you always kiss a girl that way?" sheasked after a long silence.
"What way?"
"So-o gentle like… "
"I guess it depends on the girl." Hegrinned.
"So you don't think I'd make it, even as asaloon girl?" she asked to break the tension between them.
He was silent a moment.
She opened her mouth to say something, butnothing came out. He reached a finger to close it and smiled."You're not that hard, Kate. You surely aren't."
"Well, what you are suggesting is to marryto keep a roof over my head. And basically, that's what I did withJim. And I know now, that was a mistake."
"You could meet some young man and fall inlove and marry for all the right reasons, since you already knowthe wrong reasons to marry."
"That would take a lot of time, and I don'thave that kind of time. I've got to get this crop in and theneither try to put in a new crop or sell." She stared at him, "Andwhat makes you such an expert on marriage?"
"I suppose my folks. They loved each other.They were good, God fearing people. You're right, I'm not anexpert, but at least I've seen it before."
"Seen what?" She chuckled.
"Real love."
"I gave up on that, my wedding night."
"Not all men are like that." He murmured."So how did I rank against your husband's kissing?"
"Well, I wouldn't know. He only pecked me onthe cheek at the wedding."
"I mean on your wedding night."
"He didn't kiss me on my wedding night. Hejust took me."
Wes stared now, and something in hisexpression changed.
"I guess you might say you were quitesensational. Must have had a lot of practice."
"It isn't practice that makes it good, it'sfeelings." He told her, his eyes sparkling into hers.
"Well, just so you know, that's how some ofthose cowboys would take you as a whore.
"Are you trying to shock me?"
"Yes, I am."
"I'm not going to become a saloon girl,Wes." She sighed with frustration.
"No?"
"No." she gave him a shy smile.
"Well, just so you know, you don't need anypractice in kissing." He sent her a raking smile.
"I don't?" she laughed.
"No ma'am, you don't."
He started back on the road and got silentfor a while.
"There's no need to worry about me. I'llmake it somehow."
He stopped the wagon, "You're the kind ofwoman a man does worry about."
"Well for crying out loud. And what kind ofwoman is that?" she asked with a snicker.
"A good one!" he said and didn't look ather.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been sobold."
"That's alright ma'am, I enjoyed everyminute of it." He grinned.
"Tell me, do you worry about every woman
