At Janice and Shane's quarters, I knocked gently on the door. It opened and Andrea's red, tearstreaked face greeted me. Shane sat on the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head on his palms. Vivian sat in a chair next to him speaking softly as she held his hand. They looked up as I closed the door. Tear paths were visible down Shane's weathered cheeks. His breaths sounded shallow, his skin looked pale. I pitied him because I knew exactly what he was going through. My wife, Emma, had died an even more horrible and senseless death two years ago.
All I could muster was, "I'm sorry."
Shane nodded. Tears flowed freely. "I know, thanks." He extended his right hand and we clasp hands and held the grip of close friendship for long seconds.
He nodded again when I said, "I have to go. There's still a lot to be done. You take all the time you need to mend. Ed, John and I will clean things up. I'll have Larry and Brittney brought up as soon as the woods are cleared, and all of the youngsters are released from the underground bunker."
Outside Shane's door I leaned back against the wall with my head to the drywall and closed my eyes. We'd lost four wonderful people because some selfish idiots tried to push us out of our home. They didn't care that we'd have nowhere to go or that we mightn't survive against the undead that plagued us at every turn.
I pushed away from my wall of worry and set about seeing what remained to be done. John and Anthony were on the first floor and proffered a cursory damage report. "The worst damage we've seen is to the roof where Ed fired the rockets. Several shooters must have concentrated on that area when we slacked off the cover fire because several panels are riddled and will have to be replaced. Enough extra panels are stored at the barn to fix it."
Everywhere I went, crews had the situation under control. People knew what needed to be done and moved on their own, or Ed and John had given them direction. We had a competent, highly motivated crew. I went looking for Nate Robard. His family was gathered in the dining room with him when I found them. The fact that they were smiling looked like a good sign that he'd been welcomed back. He stood, apparently unsure if I'd welcome him.
I treated him in a friendly manner for his family's sake but stayed reserved. "You've been gone almost a year and a half. What happened during that time?"
"Tom, I want to apol—"
"I'm not interested in your apology. What have you done since you left here? Start with the day after you punched your son and cussed your family and everyone here because you're a lazy slacker and wanted to get drunk."
Nate deflated. I wanted him to know right off that he wouldn't be cut any slack. He'd left his family and the people at Deliverance who had offered him a home, and he'd brought back a bunch of outlaws who tried to push us out. He had a lot of explaining to do.
Nate's hand caught my attention. The bloody rag that had been wrapped around it was gone. In its place was a professionally applied bandage. Ira must have seen him, took pity on him, and examined the hand.
As Nate's gaze met mine, guilt and shame shone through his expression. He glanced to his family and then back to me. I sensed that Vera, Mitch and Suzie wanted to speak but held back to let Nate stand on his own. "When I left here, I went from town to town trying to avoid the zombies. I quickly ran out of food and fuel and was low on ammunition. I couldn't find much food, but there were enough small amounts left in various places to keep me alive. I mostly felt sorry for myself and stayed drunk most of the time. The only good thing about it was that I lost weight. Then I had to continually look for clothes that fit. Fuel was a problem until I went to an auto parts store and found a siphon hose and took fuel from abandoned vehicles. For ammunition I prowled through sporting goods stores and gun shops and then finally broke into homes until I found sufficient amounts to build a good supply.
"I wanted to come back and apologize, but false pride wouldn't let me admit I was wrong on all counts. I kept going and pretty much stayed drunk. Then I couldn't find any alcohol for a long stretch and took an involuntary drying out period. It was hell going cold turkey alone, and I don't ever want to go through it again. I quit drinking and I promise I won't start again.” Nate swallowed hard and paused for a moment before he continued.
"About a month ago, William's bunch found me and confiscated the Humvee. They had taken over a big house over by Cedar Rapids. They were a rough bunch, but they treated me okay when I first got there. They fed me and were friendly.
"Williams wanted to know how I'd existed on my own and I told them. I didn't mention being here, but last week he pushed hard and threatened me. I told them I'd left here over a year ago. When he learned Vera and my kids were still here, he got really interested and wanted to know details. People who were the closest to him edged in, and I saw looks I didn't like. While Williams and a guy they called Gunner beat on me I heard one of them tell another they planned to take your place over, keep the women and kill the kids and men. I
