He closed his eyes. Stomach churning. He was losing weight. He hadn’t eaten or drank properly for a fortnight. And maybe that was the way to go. Maybe he didn’t have to hang himself to end it. Maybe he could just sleep, and eventually, one day, he wouldn’t open his eyes. He wouldn’t wake up.
Maybe that was the best option.
He squeezed his eyes together. Tears stung them. Because he felt he’d lost his purpose. He felt he’d lost his meaning. And as much as he tried to revisit the therapy techniques he’d learned, as much as he tried to lift himself from this darkness, just like he’d lifted himself in the past... he felt this was a cloud that wasn’t going to rise.
He heard movement outside.
He opened his eyes.
Shuffling out there.
Footsteps.
He shivered. He didn’t know why he was so worried anymore. If the Reds were here for him, let them be here for him. If the Society were here for him... same.
Those footsteps got closer. And he just lay here. Let them find him. Let them take him. Let them do what they wanted with him.
Because he was done.
He kept his eyes squeezed tight.
Heard shuffling at the door. Heard scuttling. More like an animal than a human. A dog. A...
That’s when he heard it.
A whine.
He opened his eyes again.
He wasn’t sure whether he was imagining things. Wasn’t sure if it was all in his head.
But that whine.
It sounded familiar.
He got up. Walked across the rickety wooden floor. Reached the door.
Stood there and listened to the scratching at the other side of it.
He stared at the door. Part of him didn’t want to open it. Because part of him didn’t want to see he was wrong.
And part of him didn’t want to become responsible, all over again.
He closed his eyes.
Took a deep breath.
Then he opened the door.
When he saw who was sitting there, for the first time in two weeks, a smile stretched across his face.
Chapter Forty
Noah opened the door and thought he was imagining things.
There was a dog at the doorstep. Rain-soaked. Wet bandage around his paw, which was a little reddened, a little stained by blood. He looked thin. A few bites across his head, his back, like he’d been in a few scrapes. His eye looked a bit bloodshot, too.
But there was no denying who this was.
He’d recognise him in an instant.
“Bruno,” Noah said, his voice shaking. “Come here, boy.”
Bruno didn’t need any telling. He ran up to Noah. Stood on his back legs and pawed his chest, licked his face.
And as much as he smelled like he’d been in a swamp for days, Noah let him. He held on to him. Cuddled him, played with him. This was impossible. It couldn’t be happening to him. It couldn’t be reality.
But it was.
Bruno was here.
He’d found him.
Somehow, against all the odds, he’d found him.
He stepped back into the cabin. And weirdly, it was only with Bruno here that he saw things with clarity. It was only with him present that he started to see through the dark thoughts he’d been having. The thoughts of suicide. The thoughts of ending things. The thoughts of his inherent worthlessness.
“Come on,” he said. “It isn’t much of a place, but it’s somewhere. We can... we can lay low here. Stay out the way, you know?”
But saying these words to Bruno felt like a betrayal. It felt like he was going back to the way he used to live, just over a month ago unbelievably. A secluded life that Iqrah had turned upside down. An isolated life that at the time, seemed ideal. Seemed perfect.
But since he’d tasted something else, since he’d tasted connection, closeness, responsibility... he wasn’t sure he could go back to the old way of living.
But what was he supposed to do? Go to Kelly’s place? Put them in danger?
He sighed. That was too much of a risk. It was too much of a...
A thought.
A thought came to his mind.
A surge of life rushed through him.
Because the Reds.
They were savage. They were brutal. And they weren’t going to stop.
And as long as they were around... people were in danger.
They needed eliminating.
They needed destroying.
That was his goal. His purpose. His responsibility. Charged even more by the fact of what had happened to Iqrah.
Her family. They were still out there.
Then there was Kirsty. He didn’t know where she was. What had happened to her. So many unknowns. So many mysteries. So many questions, unanswered.
But he knew what he needed to do.
He had a purpose again.
He was found again.
And he knew exactly what he had to do.
He crouched down. Ruffled Bruno’s fur.
“Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for making me realise. Thank you for making me remember.”
He didn’t know how Bruno had made it this far. Didn’t know how he’d survived. But one thing was for sure.
He’d fought to be here.
So Noah had to keep fighting too.
“Keep fighting…”
He stood up and walked over to the cabin door.
The rain lashed down, heavy, torrential. Thick grey clouds overhead. A storm wreaking havoc, no doubt about it.
But he looked off into the distance, and for the first time in a long time, he felt his purpose again.
He felt so sure about what he had to do.
“Come on, lad,” he said, Bruno by his side. “Let’s finish this.”
And then he took a deep breath, and the pair of them walked.
Chapter Forty-One
Doctor Watkinson looked at the video footage of the fallen bodies and felt a sickly taste in his mouth.
It was dark outside. Not that it made a difference in here, in these windowless labs. He hadn’t seen sunlight or moonlight for almost five years now. All this time, locked away, working on some kind of solution, some kind of resolution.
It looked like he’d finally found what he was looking for.
So why did things seem so… bleak?
He clicked through the images on his large iMac computer. The rest of the office was quiet. A couple of scientists working away, like him. Going through their own results, seeing
