Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, Sam takes a step back, leaving a wet spot on my sweater, and makes arrangements for me to get to the hospital. She organizes three cars, all the exact same make and model: silver Mercedes. One I’ll travel in, and two will be decoys. It’s a little excessive, but I’m grateful to her.
The planets must all be aligning because we make it out of the arena and into the hospital with no fuss. Sam leaves to get an orderly with a wheelchair for me. I don’t have the energy to fight her, so I reluctantly allow myself to be wheeled through the back entrance. The minute I get pushed through the door, Bridget is kneeling at my side, tears streaming from her green eyes. This time I lose the struggle and cry on my best friend’s shoulder. Simon appears, his handsome face the picture of concern as he smiles sadly down at me, unshed tears shining in his own eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Hayley.” His British accent is thicker with his tears.
What is it about kindness that makes this so much worse? “Simon, can you do me a favor and not be nice to me right now?”
Running a hand through his blond hair, Simon chuckles, and the sound untwists the knot in my belly a little. “I understand.” His blue eyes flick to his fiancée. “Bridget is exactly the same. Let’s get you checked out, shall we?”
Sam tells me she’s going to head out to get a fresh change of clothes. It’s only then that I realize she’s still wet from trying to help me out of the shower. I’m grateful I’m having my concert in our hometown and Sam doesn’t live too far from the hospital. Bridget wheels me into Curtain Two. The ER is unusually empty except for Curtain One which is occupied by a toddler with a jelly bean stuck in his ear. The parents are both trying to console the frantic child while a nurse explains they need to wait for the X-rays to see just how far the candy is wedged in before Simon attempts to remove it.
Dr. Evans arrives and asks me a barrage of questions. I think about the relief I felt when I initially saw the negative pregnancy test, how apprehensive I was when I had to tell Ethan it was a false negative, and the guilt stifles me. This is exactly why I lost my baby; I didn’t deserve to have him or her in the first place, even if I’d grown to want this baby more than I wanted anything else in my life.
The sonogram confirms what I already knew. Dr. Evans pats me on the leg. “I’m sorry, Miss Stephens. There’s no need for a D and C. We’ll keep you here until morning and give you something for the pain—”
No tears come this time. No moment of panic. Just a weird acceptance that comes with knowing there is nothing I can do as an icy numbness settles over me like a dense fog. “I can’t stay here. I have a concert to put on.”
Dr. Evans rolls his chair back and replaces the wand back on the sonogram stand. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You will still be bleeding quite heavily for a while and—”
Bridget squeezes my hand. “Hayley, Dr. Evans is right. What you need now is some rest. Not to be onstage.”
“Bridge, I can’t let my fans down. Some of them travel for hours and stand in lines for even longer. I…” My voice catches in my throat, and the walls start closing in on me. I need this. I need to do this. I need the distraction, but more importantly I need to not let my fans down like I let my baby down.
Bridget squeezes my hand again and bends down to give me a hug. When she straightens up, she gives me a look that lets me know that she understands. It’s just like Bridget to know exactly what’s going on in my head and my heart. She looks at Dr. Evans. “Simon and I have tickets to the concert. We’ll be there if she needs anything.”
Dr. Evans still looks hesitant, but after a few seconds he acquiesces. “Alright. But if the pain intensifies or the bleeding gets worse, you’ll have to come back in.”
I assure him I will, and he leaves as Sam comes into the room dressed in a fresh suit with a tote bag in hand. “What did the doctor say?”
I shake my head, the air locking up in my throat again.
She hugs me, and Bridget’s eyes well with tears. Sam straightens and she’s all business again. “I brought you some stuff. There’s something to sleep in and some toiletries as well a fresh set of clothes for tomorrow.”
“Thanks, I won’t be needing them. We better hurry—we’ve only got an hour and a half to get ready for the concert.”
Sam looks at me like I’ve just turned into a floating unicorn. “You can’t be serious, Hayley. I’m canceling the show. You can’t go on. The press release is going out in…” She looks at the watch on her wrist. “Ten minutes.”
“Cancel the release. I have to go on.” This is taking too much energy. I need to save my energy. I sit up and swing my legs off the bed.
“You have to rest. Hayley, please, you can’t be serious—”
Bridget and Sam exchange looks, then Bridget steps forward, tucking her caramel-colored hair behind her ear. “I’ll make sure she’s okay tonight, and she can come stay with us for a few days. Having a doctor and nurse hover around her should force her to get some rest.”
I gingerly climb off the bed and head to the bathroom to change. I see the blood staining the protective sheeting they laid on the bed, and Bridget crumples it into a ball. I guess there are going to
