“You were gone a long time,” he said.
“I always read to Josh. Chris and Quin have their own books.”
“You’re second mother to your nephews, you have a preschool and you want to write a book to help children to read. All those things and none of the kids involved are your own. You must love children very much.”
“I do,” she answered, aware his thumb moved lightly back and forth over her fingers, the faint touch keeping her disturbingly aware of him. His long legs were stretched in front of him, one foot propped on the porch railing.
“Your love of children is all the more reason you ought to develop a life of your own.”
“It seems to me that you should have brought up these arguments about my life-style before we married. Now I’m not in a position to date or go out.”
“I’m thinking ahead so that when we part you don’t go back to the life you had before.”
“I don’t think there’s any danger of that,” she said, thinking about the mound of bills she intended to pay right away. “Thanks for your concern, but it isn’t necessary.”
“I think you need to look at your life again. Don’t you want your own children someday?”
She thought about his question. She loved children and always thought that someday she would marry and have her own, but after taking on her nephews, she had given up the idea of marriage. “I hadn’t stopped to think about it lately, but I realize now I might not have my own. If I don’t, I have the boys and they already seem like mine.”
“But you’ve never had a baby that was yours. I’ll get you out to meet people. I have single friends.”
She laughed and studied him. “Thanks, anyway, Coun- selor, but I like my life just as you seem to like yours. You start introducing me to your single friends, and I’ll do the same for you.”
“Okay, but remember, I offered. And remember that your boys will grow up and be gone someday,”
“And then I’ll be ready for solitude. Where do you go for your vacations? Off somewhere by yourself?”
“Sometimes, not always,” Cal answered, remembering six months ago when he took Leah Caldwell to New Or- leans for a weekend. “Have the boys ever seen a pro foot- ball game?” he asked, wanting to change the subject of whether or not he traveled alone.
“No, I’m sure they haven’t.”
“Maybe I can take them to a Cowboys’ game sometime.”
“Chris and Josh would love it. I doubt if Quin would go.”
Silence stretched between them, yet Juliana was aware of his thumb still stroking her hand and wrist, their arms touching. While she watched fireflies dance over the dark yard, she wondered about Cal and his past.
“You said you were engaged once and broke it off. How close were you to the wedding?”
“Three months. Getting close.”
“You don’t see her anymore?”
“Nope, I don’t. I know she lives in Austin and she’s married now.”
“Any regrets?”
“No. Do you regret Barry Fowler?”
“I did at first because I thought I was in love with him, but as time passes, memories of Barry are beginning to blur. The hurt is wearing away. How long ago did you break your engagement?”
“I was twenty-six,” he answered and she calculated quickly that it had been eight years. Long enough for the hurt to heal.
“You know Barry’s name, so tell me, who was your fi- ancee?”
“Andrea Holt.”
The name sounded familiar. About ten seconds later, Ju- liana turned to him. “She was Governor Holt’s daughter?”
“Yep, that’s right.”
Surprised, Juliana remembered the publicity about An- drea Holt’s lavish wedding while her father was in his last months as governor. “Which one of you broke it off?”
“She did,” he replied. “Differences.”
His terse answers did not encourage her to question him, but she wondered if he had been hurt badly. “Are you still in love with her?”
“No.” Dark eyes met hers with directness. “Nope. I got over Andrea. We didn’t belong together.” He paused for a moment, then said, “I don’t think I’m cut out for mar- riage.”
“Well, you just married me this morning.”
“Not completely and forever,” he answered, reminding her of the flimsiness of their union. “But I’m getting too old to want just a night in the sack.”
“I’ll remember that, old-timer.”
“If it’s with you, it won’t just be a night in the sack,” he said softly, and her pulse jumped.
“So what would it be?” she asked him, her eyebrows arching, unable to resist, yet knowing she shouldn’t in- quire. She bit her lip and shook her head. “Forget I asked. I don’t know what it is about you that makes me say things like that,” she said with a long sigh.
“It isn’t me so much as you yourself. You’re ready, babe, for more than you have in your life right now.”
“Are you offering to fill the gaps?”
“Some I can, some I can’t.”
“Counselor, a direct answer just isn’t in you. Right now, I have a brand-new husband who is causing me turmoil and sleepless nights.”
He groaned. “Earlier tonight, you told me that I’m sexy, appealing and considerate. Now I find out I’m causing you to lose sleep. I can’t ignore comments like those.”
“Yes, you can. Sometimes I speak before I think. Now, let’s talk about the movies you like and other safe topics, like what sports you prefer. We do that or I go inside right now.”
“You get your way. I like action pictures, westerns, com- edies. What do you like?” he asked, only half hearing her answer while he thought about her remarks. She found him sexy, appealing, considerate with the boys. Also, he was causing her turmoil; she was losing sleep over him. He felt a deep twist inside. If that was the case, then he should be able to overcome her defenses with almost no argument and take her to bed. Yet he didn’t want to be ensnared in this paper marriage for life, and if he took
