“Alessia,” the preacher asks, “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Her beautiful smile flashes as I slide the ring onto her finger.
“Yes,” she whispers. I hold her vibrant face in my hands and kiss the hell out of my bride. Snake, my best man and friend, slaps my back. Letting her go, I can see the future in her deep brown eyes.
A sharp inhale, and I choke on the air robbing me of the past. My stomach turns with so much regret, there is no coming back. I cannot stop the next one that takes me back.
“It’s going to be okay.” I hold onto her. Alessia sobs in my lap on the bathroom floor. She lost the baby she thought we were having. Just barely after the two-month mark, she miscarried. I came home from a run to find her on the floor.
“It is all my fault. I feel like I did something wrong.” My hand stills on her back. The tension grows and lingers between the two of us. “You think it is my fault,” she rasps.
Alessia wipes her face, removing the tears and emotion. She clears her throat and sits up straight. Gone is the woman I needed to see. Digging deep, she protects herself and puts up the armor to block anyone coming in.
Standing, she walks away, out of the bathroom . . . away from me, us.
My fingers rip through my hair. I want out of this hell, but the constant rotation of the past holds me captive. I see it all. Every moment when I had the chance to be her man, and I wasn’t. I did think it was her fault she lost our baby. I punished her for it. I had no idea, it was just easier to think it was.
“Hawk.” Jazzy stands in front of me. Her voice is laced with impatience and annoyance. “I’m not cutting your hair, am I?”
Shaking my head no, I stand. “Can you please talk to me a minute?”
Jazz thinks about it a moment. “You’re an asshole to come here. Go outside.” She growls at me and storms out the front door. I find her just off to the right side of the building, away from the shop’s windows. Her arms are crossed over her chest, waiting for me.
It’s hard for me to look at her. I have known them, the MC, Alessia’s family, for so long, they felt like mine. Now, I have no one. “I was wrong. A lot that has happened to this point is my fault.” I try to keep my voice even, but it is gutting me.
“You don’t have a clue what you have done yet. You betrayed a bond between you two. I am not the person that can help you get her back.”
“Who is? I just need to know where she is. I need to talk to her,” I plead. There is nothing left.
A humorous laugh breaks free. “You really are lost. Her brother and father are the closest people in her life. She has been a daddy’s girl since birth. She is his princess. Snake was her role model. She idolizes those men. What you did was—” Jazzy is forced to clear her throat and take in a deep inhale. “Prove to them she is fragile and needed to be protected. You stripped her down to a person she hates, vulnerable.”
Her words make my hands tremble and body shake. My mind is a mess, and I just shake my head back and forth. The feeling of betrayal is real and lives in me.
“Look, walking away is the hardest thing. Maybe it’s time you let each other go. Let the past heal. If your love is real, she’ll come back to you.”
“I can’t walk away now without trying—”
She holds up a hand, stopping me. “I know you love her, but it is over. Too bad you didn’t do this before. Before you ask, I don’t know where she is. She didn’t just leave you.” Jazz dismisses me, walking back into work.
“Fuck!” I roar to no one but myself. There is only one person who can stop her—Fuego. Getting on my bike, I head back to the clubhouse.
Reaching out to him is a long shot. Everything that Jazz said is true. Alessia has been his princess, and I hurt her, them. I hurt all of them. I know this because Fuego has done everything in his power to punish me. Snake beat the shit out of me, not only for his sister but also because I deceived him and lost his trust.
Fuego’s road to forgiveness is going to be the hardest. I would rather he beat the shit out of me, yell at me, or anything else besides sending me on ridiculous runs and keeping me busy. I think of him like a father. I’ve never had one, and the man took me in when I met his daughter. I’ve been there, a part of them. He’s watched out for me. The burn in my chest is an ache I cannot describe, a pain that will not go away anytime soon. Fuego’s punishment for the betrayal of my promise to him may never end. The day that I asked to marry his daughter, the light in his eyes, I had pleased him.
“Mijo,” he smiles, which is scarce for the older traditional man. Rarely does he show anything to anyone except those that are close to him. “If you take mi Alessia as tu esposa, you must promise me something.”
Sitting in his back yard, I nod for him to continue. My heart pounds in my chest. His blessing is important. I want him to be happy for us.
“You love her. The ambitious and beautiful corazón that mi niña has, you hold her close a tu propio corazón, as if she was you. Honor her. Never stray from her. She is muy fuerte, mi niña. So
