So why couldn't I bring myself to believe it?
“Wuthering Heights?”
I saw a ghost of a smile. “Aw, that's easy. 'They’s Heathcliff, and a woman, yonder, under t' Nab, un' Aw darnut pass 'em.'”
I laughed, shaking my head. “That's not a real quote,” I told her.
She shrugged. “It darn tootin' is.”
“You're weird.”
“I'm awesome,” she pointed out.
“The jury is still out on that,” I told her.
Julie was smiling, and by now, I saw the faintest traces of laughter at the verge of her lips. It was nice to see, and even nicer to know that I was the one responsible for it.
“You're just jealous,” she remarked.
I smirked. “Extremely,” I replied, and she smiled.
♥
It felt as if I had started living life in fast forward. Suddenly, I had places to go, and people to see, and life felt as if it was starting to have a purpose.
I thought I was getting closer to where I was meant to be. I could feel this magnetic force pulling me farther and farther into Julie's world. I was at the hospital everyday, except weekends. Julie explained that they didn't go to there on weekends so the parents could have the time with them. We were merely fillers. We didn't have to be there for them to keep going.
Julie started coming over more, but it was to help me with my work. We would group everything I needed to do in the three days that she would set aside to come over.
She prepared me for my finals, and even encouraged me that I was doing a better job than what I had assumed. She told me I could go to college upstate, or even aim higher if I really wanted.
I didn't tell her that my highest plans were the community college. That would have begun an argument, and I didn't want to fight with Julie. I didn't like fighting with Julie.
Usually, I lost.
Liam came over a few times. Once with Julie, and the others just to hang out.
I had forgotten what it was like to have a friend. We sat on the couch and played video games, and Liam would pick and tease me about Ava. He thought she was beautiful, and thought it was funny to see me glaring at him as he said so.
Not that it was much different. I thought his sister was beautiful too, and she didn't have a boyfriend keeping me from her.
Just me. I was the only thing coming between me and her. I didn't know how to stop myself either. I didn't know how to get over my own insecurities and just fall in love with her like boys were supposed to.
It wasn't that she wasn't trying either. I knew she wanted to break through, whether it was romantic or friendly, I didn't know. I could blame my lack of knowledge on why I couldn't allow myself to push toward those feelings I was feeling.
I just couldn't make myself believe that she could ever look at me as anything other than a friend. Julie was perfect, and I was every imperfection wrapped into one large charbroiled boy.
The picture that Julie had drawn of me had been taken out of the trash soon after she left. I had held the crumpled paper in my hands and found myself staring at my before.
It still stung me at how accurate it looked. I could imagine being seventeen, and looking like that guy that Julie had drawn. I could see that guy flirting with Julie, and asking her out on a date rather than just to study.
The link between me and him was there, drawn in the grayness of his face. It had been severed long ago, it felt, when our mother had decided to cut the link.
I ripped the picture, and then tucked it in the trash.
♥
“Do you want to hang out?” Liam asked, coloring a picture with the kid next to him.
I was doing the same. My duck was purple and red, because they were the only crayons the little boy let me have.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, looking up briefly so he could read my lips. It hadn't taken long to get accustomed to doing so. If you didn't, Liam would punch you to remind you.
He shrugged. “Julie and I were thinking about the arcade. Old school games, ooey gooey pizza, and rock candy, I tell you, man, it's like paradise,” he replied.
I laughed, and nodded. “Sure. You going after we get done here?” I asked.
Liam nodded. “Yeah. We'll drive you there if you want, since you're lame and don't have your own wheels,” he told me.
The two kids laughed, and I glared at Liam. “Thanks. It's not like my good looks are going to buy me one,” I reminded him.
“You'd be lucky to get a Hot Wheel with those looks.”
“Thanks,” I said with a sour voice. “You're the best friend a guy could ever hope to have.”
Liam grinned, and looked back down to his picture. He colored in an area and then lifted up the picture for us to see. “Look, a cat!” he said with a smile.
I gave him a thumbs up, even though his cat was pink and green. Liam had stolen the crayons too, and was still determined to color the cat green and pink.
“Cat's aren't that color,” the kid next to me protested.
“They are if I want them to be,” Liam replied.
The kid didn't look convinced, and all of sudden called out to Julie. I looked to her, and saw her raise a brow as she came toward us. I gestured toward Liam, and she started to smile.
“What's going on?” she asked, kneeling down at
