Though, with Julie, I had slowly undressed myself, and was constantly feeling naked and vulnerable in front of her. There was nothing different with the multiple times I had done so before to the simple move of taking off my shirt.
Tentatively, I peeled the shirt from my body. I pulled it over my head and stared at it for only a moment. It got tossed with the towel.
I looked down at my body, and though fear was still prickling at my neck, I also knew that it wouldn't bother Julie. Julie wasn't fazed by the appearance of things. This was just unexplored territory.
“You're exquisite,” her voice said from the gate. I turned to see her standing there, a towel wrapped around her, but a soft smile on her face. She had been watching me, quiet as a mouse, and she had used a big word to describe me.
I smiled, staring at her. “You're a stalker,” I told her.
She shrugged and opened the gate, coming inside the fence with me. “And you should watch undressing all by your lonesome. Some crazy psycho killer could be waiting to kill you while you're getting all naked,” she said to me.
Generation defect I tell you. We immediately think psycho killers are coming to get us.
Or zombies.
I looked at her, but her body was hidden beneath the towel. All I could really see was her head, and legs, the rest disguised behind the soft whiteness of her towel.
“Now who's being a cheater?” I asked her as she came up.
She wasn't wearing shoes either, but there was some fear in her eyes. She took in a deep breath as she slowly pulled the towel away from her body and dropped it to the ground behind her.
I saw no reason for the fear. She was perfect. Although the cancer and the treatments had definitely been taking their toll on her body, she was still gorgeous. Too thin, but beautiful nonetheless, standing there in the moonlight and red and white polka dot bikini.
“You're lovely,” I told her, but didn't move toward her. We stood a few feet from each other, both staring at one another like the virgins we were: scared and eager.
She bit her lip in the enchanting way she always did. She self-consciously wrapped her arms around herself. I knew she was scared of my perceptions of her body.
“If I wasn't sick, I wouldn't have been so nervous about this,” she tried to assure me.
I smiled. “If I wasn't so in love with you, I wouldn't be nervous either,” I told her.
Julie smiled, and she looked down. I did too, my eyes running across the rib bones I could see, the hip bones, the way her chest bone was visible. She couldn't help that, but she seemed to think she could.
“A lot of girls die trying to get a body like this, you know? I wish I was at least twenty pounds heavier, and maybe a few sizes bigger in this area,” she said circling around her breasts. “And maybe a few sizes smaller in this area,” she said, then placing her hands on her butt.
I laughed, and looked down at my own body. “You know, if I was smoother in this area,” I replied, circling my entire upper torso. “And a few muscles more in this area,” I said, indication to my stomach. “Maybe then I’d feel more like a sex magnet.”
Julie smiled, rubbing her neck. “Yeah, I know I sound stupid. The only person that opinions matter to me is yours though,” she told me with a sheepish grin.
I smiled, and finally bridged the gap between us. I held to her arms, and smiled down. “The feelings mutual. As long as you think I'm, what was the word, oh! Exquisite, then nothing else matters,” I told her, as she smiled.
That was when her fingers touched my scars, and traced the lines. She looked lost in their varying forms and routes. “You are exquisite. I could stare at you all night,” she replied softly, so soft I almost couldn't hear her. If the only other sound hadn't been the night air, I probably wouldn't have.
“I've never seen a girl more beautiful, and amazing than you, Julie Michaels,” I told her, running my fingers over her arms. Her flesh instantly broke out in goosebumps and I knew it was because of me. Because of my touch. I took satisfaction in that.
“But you have to admit, you would rather see me like before. When I had hair and meat, and not looking at you like I was a skeleton,” she replied.
I raised a brow. “Would you rather see me as I was before?” I asked.
Julie widened her eyes and shook her head. “Of course not. This is different though,” she replied.
“Because I saw you before you got sick?”
She nodded.
I shook my head. “If you had been with me before I was burned, you would still feel the way you do now, because you love me. Seeing you like this is just as perfect as it would have been if you were still healthy. I'll still feel the same if you grow fat and old and wrinkled,” I told her.
Julie smiled at that, and she spread her hands across my chest. She took in a deep breath, and she smiled. “Old, fat, and wrinkled,” she commented. “It's a nice future to look forward to.”
I didn't say anything. Because I knew she'd realize the significance in her words, and she might take them back.
She was actually looking forward.
“Right now, let's worry about that water,” I replied, and we both stared at
