*
Chapter 2
The Clark Ranch – East of Ashland, Oregon.
Tom walked through the last door into the bunker with a big smile on his face whistling The Ballad of Jerry Jeff Walker. “Hey, everyone, we’re back, and we have gifts and toys for all of you good little boys and girls. Well, anyway, we have medicine and a new way to kill people silently. Anything happen while we were gone?”
Tom held out his bag full of booty while Granny B and Kate stared at him as if he was standing there naked with a giant snake around his neck. Kate stifled back a laugh and took the bag. She whispered in his ear. “I’ll bet you had a crappy day.”
Tom turned, smiled, and then laughed. “It was a fabulous day. It was so good I’d have to be two people to have really enjoyed it to its fullest.”
Granny B placed her hands on her hips as the others walked into the room. “Are you okay, son?”
“I’m finer than frog hair split three ways.”
Granny B looked at Jackie. “By any chance, did y’all stop by a liquor store?”
Jackie shrugged. “Nope. He’s been that way since we started driving back from Ashland.”
Kate interrupted the conversation when she saw the crossbows. “Oh, my God! That’s a Tenpoint Rubicon model. It was only released this year! I had one on order from Amazon when the crap hit the fan. And you have the carbon fiber bolts with the hunting arrowheads. Can I see it?”
Tom handed the crossbow to her. “Are these better than the compound bows?”
“Hell, yes! This model has the push button bowstring pull back and is as accurate as most rifles at close range. It has a dozen doohickeys that assist the archer in aiming.”
Tom said, “The pullback motor probably won’t work thanks to the EMP blast. Tell me about the doohickeys.”
Kate demonstrated the manual crank. “See, it works in the manual mode. I’ll try the auto-mode later. The red dot and range finder appear to be working. This is the ultimate silent but deadly bow. Let’s go out to the range, and I’ll demonstrate this fine weapon.”
Tom avoided looking her in the eyes and then turned to Granny B. “First, I need to give Granny an update on our trip, and then I’ll join you on the archery range. Give me twenty minutes.”
Granny B had just opened a vacuum-sealed bag of rice and beans. She saw her grandson. “We sealed these up ten years ago using my old vacuum cleaner to suck the air out of the bags. I’m trying to use them up, making some red beans and rice. All of the ones we did after that were sealed after flushing the bag with nitrogen.”
“I’m glad you and Grampa taught us all the prepping methods. Well, I came in to tell you about our trip.”
“You get all poopy after having to kill people. Is that what happened?” Granny B asked.
Tom smiled. “Not at all. Jackie killed two. Rick and I killed one each. We saved two people, who promptly raided a crack house and killed everyone in the house. Those were the last two we killed.”
“So why are you acting like a smartass?”
“Granny B, it’s just my way of dealing with the unimaginable things we have to do to survive. I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I’m an adult and can deal with things in my own way. I’ll never be disrespectful to you or our team, but it is what it is.”
Granny B’s lips thinned, and then a big smile washed over her face. “You deal with the monkeys on your back the best you know-how. But you know I’ll never stop worrying about my boy.”
Tom hugged his grandma and kissed her on the top of her head. “I’m okay. It’s just setting in that half of my future life is fighting for our survival and killing when I have to kill. I’m going to put on my happy face when everyone’s safe.”
Granny B knew she might step on a toe or two but opened her mouth anyway. “My advice is to enjoy the good times when we’re not scrounging to eke out a living. You need to …?”
“I know! Get back on the horse.”
“That’s not what I was going to say. Son, just don’t be lonely too long.”
“Granny, I don’t plan on being alone for much longer. I’m thinking about going into Ashland, capturing some of those wild women and bringing them back to the ranch. I could start my own harem.”
Granny B shook her head and then chuckled aloud. “Well, at least you have your humor back. I like to see you telling jokes.”
“Who's joking? I could use a redhead, a blonde, and a brunette around the ranch.”
Granny B punched him in the arm. “Okay, Mr. Piss and Vinegar, go work your charms on that little black haired girl with the big bow.”
He pulled Granny B close and kissed her on the top of the head again. “Cupid, you’re working overtime. Bye!”
***
Tom grabbed four bottles of homebrew on the way through the kitchen and went out to the archery range. He stopped and watched as Kate nocked bolt after bolt and shot them into the target at sixty yards. The bolts were so close that several were split down the middle by William Tell shots. He walked up behind her clearing his throat to get her attention. She turned. “I saw you five minutes ago.”
She noticed he was looking down at his shoes. “Usually, men at least act like they’re not talking to my tits. I do have eyes.”
Tom’s head snapped upward and stuttered as he peered into
