“Shit,” I mutter.
“What?” Sam asks. “What’s wrong? Was that a realization moment about Gabriel and the key?”
“No,” I say, grabbing up the last of the bags and folding it aggressively. “That’s a realization moment that I forgot the damn cranberry sauce.”
“Oh.” He looks around. “Well, at least you have six pears and a persimmon.”
My eyes swing over to him. “I have a what?”
Chapter Eighteen
Seventeen years ago …
“Are you really sure this is what you want to do?” her mother asked.
There was a slant in her voice that said she wasn’t really asking. There might have been a question mark at the end of the words, but that wasn’t actually what she was trying to say. What she was saying was that she was having second thoughts about her daughter’s choice and wanted her to reconsider.
But she couldn’t say that herself. If she did, she wouldn’t be the supportive mother she was trying to be. It would almost sound as if she was penalizing Julia for her success. That wasn’t something she ever wanted to do.
She had big dreams for her little girl. From the time she was born, Julia was something different. She was special. Not just because she was an only daughter, or that she had always been beautiful. There was more in her. Something you don’t come across very often.
Julia knew that about herself. She wasn’t conceited about it, and she didn’t look down at other people, even when she was soaring high above them. She kept herself focused and always accomplished what she set out to do.
Her mother was proud of her. But this was different from all of her other accomplishments. It was different from anything she had ever wanted to try. Letting her go away to college was already a challenge for her mother, but Julia always told her she chose her school specifically and after a lot of thought. It had the program she wanted. A gorgeous campus. The student life was spectacular, and there were a lot of opportunities for her to volunteer.
Her mother almost laughed when she thought about that conversation. Julia almost sounded as if she was rattling off the marketing material from a brochure for the University. But there was so much enthusiasm around her that her parents couldn’t say no. If this was really what she wanted and it would get her to the goals she set for herself, they weren’t going to stand in her way.
Even if that meant being accepted into an exclusive program abroad that would keep her away from home for the better part of a year. Just the thought of her not being nearby was too much for her mother to wrap her head around.
While she was on campus, she was independent. She was at a distance from her parents and the place she had always lived. But at least she was accessible. If her mother missed Julia too much, she could just get in the car and drive, or take a train. Within a few hours, she and her daughter would be together.
It wasn’t going to be that way with her in the exclusive program. She wouldn’t be able to communicate very often, much less actually see her parents while she was serving.
This year, she wouldn’t even be home for Christmas. That was the worst blow of the situation. They didn’t actually think she would sign up for a departure date that came only a few days after Thanksgiving. It meant she wouldn’t be home for the holiday, and they might not even be able to call her.
She didn’t want this to happen, but Julia was an adult. She was talented and brilliant. Her parents wanted to encourage that in her even if that meant her leaving college. That just meant they were going to have to learn to cope without her as well.
Thirteen years ago …
Fourth Week of November
Monday: Mom asked me today how volunteering at the hospital was going. I started telling her things and I was amazed at how good it actually sounded. Impressive, even. Just the fact that I was as proud as I was in that moment is pretty telling.
Tuesday: I miss them so much. I knew it would be hard. It always is. But it’s so much harder this year. Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep. I just lay there and cried. Maybe I should have just been brave enough to push the issue. It doesn’t matter what my parents think. Not anymore. I don’t want to come back here for Christmas and have it be like this.
Wednesday: Emma called me today to tell me Happy Thanksgiving because she figured I’ll be busy tomorrow. She’s trying to seem like she’s okay, but I know she’s not. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. I’m so glad she has her boyfriend. I’ve only met him once and it was just in passing, but he seems sweet and she obviously loves him. He’ll get her through this. But hopefully she’ll get her answers soon.
Thursday: I’m thankful today. I really am. Thankful for what I have and for the future I hope to have one day. Being here and celebrating the holiday with my family has made everything a lot clearer. The table was full and there weren’t any empty chairs, but I knew the whole time that there should have been. It made me angry at my parents, even though they have no idea. I’m even more sure now. I’m not coming back for Christmas. Not like this.
Friday: I actually had fun shopping this morning. Mom and I got up early and hit some of the big stores. We weren’t after anything specific, but we got some good deals. There were some things
