I collect my things and lock up my office. I’m the only one remaining in the building as I exit and make my way to the staff parking lot at the back of the university. It’s a nice night out. The heat of the day still lingering, not having yet dipped to a manageable degree, but I like it. Heat has never been an issue for me. The cold on the other hand is an entirely different story. I’m insufferable, as my students would attest. The chill pierces right into the marrow, leaving me in a constant state of cold. A few staff members nod and wave goodbye as they too make their way to their vehicles. I enter my car, pressing the start button, the engine comes to life and I shift it into gear. Jessica doesn’t live too far from the university. A fifteen-minute drive in good traffic. As I travel through semi-busy streets to her house, I think of you. Wonder what you are doing and thinking. Wishing your mind is exactly where mine is at. It’s bad that the thoughts have gone astray, but it can’t be helped. I arrive at her house and unbuckle my seat belt, exiting the car. Her house is nice. The standard picket white fence, perfectly manicured lawn with a couple of cheeky gnomes scattered in the garden. Roses and pansies in the garden beds that line the perimeter of the front porch. I knock on the door and wait for her to answer.
It doesn’t take too long for her to open the front door in a silk nightgown. She looks beautiful and sexy and it stirs a similar sensation, like when my hand accidentally brushed against your hard nipple. I open the door and with a single finger; she gestures for me to come inside. I do as I’m told because if anything or anyone has the ability to tamper the feelings for you, it’s going to be her. An implicit order to follow her to her bedroom. When I enter, I don’t hold back. I grab a hold of her neck and slam her against the door and track the movement of her silk gown as it slips off her slender shoulders. Her hair sitting invitingly on her breasts. Completely naked underneath, I take the time to admire her. She’s how I imagine you to be. Is it wrong that I think of you when I’m with her. Is it wrong for me to live out my fantasies with her because I know things can never progress with us? In another world, things would be different. In another world, I could picture her to be someone that would be good for me. She’s kind and sweet and fierce and career driven. She’s a business woman and believes a man should be put in his place when he steps out of line. I don’t like submissive women. Submissive women feel weak and I’m left feeling powerless, which to most people, would be a wildly inaccurate train of thought. How does one feel powerless against someone they’re stronger than? Well, the test of true strength is against an opponent who is equal or stronger than you. Succeeding in a game of strength against someone or something weaker than you makes you weak because you’re taking an easy win. I like women who put up a fight. Women who are willing to give as good as they can take. And I like them to be able to take a lot.
Which leads me to wonder… will you be like that? Will you take control and push me into being the man you need me to be? I’d like to think so.
I’m thrown back hard, and I grab onto the bed post. She hurriedly pulls my jacket off and unbuttons my dress shirt, throwing it off to the side before grappling at my belt buckle, unzipping, and yanking down my slacks and briefs. She smiles. Smiles at me and the sight of my erection. There’s no wasted time as she swallows my length with her mouth and I look down to see her eyes locked on mine as her lips suck me. You replace Jessica. Not physically, but in my mind. You replace her and I can only see you on your knees, so willing to please me. I fist her hair, taking over because I need to see my illusion of you gagging as I fuck your mouth with such ferocity. Take pleasure in seeing the tears that trickle from the corner of your eyes as you fight to keep up with my movements.
As I feel my balls tighten, I release her, pulling her by her hair and forcing her to stand up. She never complains, because she too enjoys the fucked-up punishing ways with which we have sex. We’ve formed this strange bond, and as I said before; if I were any other man, we could be together. Because on paper we fit. In reality, we fit. But I don’t want someone that fits. I want you. You don’t fit with me. You’re the polar opposite to me. I would be too toxic for someone like you, but we would work, because it’s how it’s meant to be.
Jessica looks at me with a shimmer in her eyes, forcing me down on the bed. “Lie back,” she says.
Without taking my eyes off of her, I watch as she straddles my face and I taste the sweetness that is her. You come to view in my mind again, and just seeing the angelic way you look sitting
