She wasn’t the type to make rash decisions, instead was meticulous in all aspects of her life. Jumping into bed with her step-brother was so far off the straight and narrow it actually astounded her that it happened at all. However, there was no denying the fact that she’d given her virginity to Beckett. The only thing left to do now was figure out how to move forward.
Returning home, she headed to the kitchen to get Barkey a bowl of refreshing cool water. Staring out the kitchen window at the back gardens that were just beginning to turn for the season, she barely registered someone else entering the room behind her. When an arm bumped hers, she jumped slightly, her heart leaping into her throat.
Beckett had appeared from nowhere and was now studying her face with an intensity that burned straight through her. He looked too damn sexy for his own good. His dark hair was tousled, his black muscle shirt showing off his muscular biceps. Drool began to pool in her mouth and she had to swallow audibly to clear her throat.
“Hey,” she said lamely, feeling ridiculous. What the fuck are we supposed to talk about now? How was school...hey remember that one time we hooked up?
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
Puzzled, she raised an eyebrow. “Um, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Beckett’s eyes travelled down her body, looking pointedly between her thighs. Thoroughly embarrassed when she caught his meaning, she blushed.
“I’m good,” Lola assured him, not wanting to elaborate any further.
“Listen, Lola, we need to talk,” he began and her heart rate increased faster, if that was possible. Since having her fantasy dream about him, now whenever she was near him, her body reacted. She was smart enough to recognize she wanted him again, but not stupid enough to make a move. He was obviously about to give her a speech about what happened between them not meaning anything.
Beckett watched every single emotion play across Lola’s face. She was incredibly expressive and would make a terrible poker player. He’d been up most of the night debating what he was about to do, but if he had any hope of keeping her in his life the way he wanted her, the best thing he could do was be honest and hope she’d understand.
He’d make her understand.
“You don’t have to give me any speech, Beckett. I’m not some naive little girl with grand notions of romance.” Brushing past him, she headed for the stairs, pausing when he gripped her arm.
“That’s not what I want to talk about. There’s something you need to know, Lola. I’ve done...things.”
“I know. I know, but Beckett, it wasn’t just you. We’re both responsible for the things we did. It can’t happen again, I realize that, and it probably wouldn’t have ever happened in the first place if I hadn’t had that fantasy dream about you. I — ”
“Wait, what? You fantasized about me?” His boyish grin was nearly irresistible, and she rolled her eyes in response.
“Shut up. It’s embarrassing enough without you looking at me like that.” His features turned somber as he once again tried to refocus the conversation.
“I want you to promise me you’ll listen to what I have to say with an open mind,” he began, taking one of her hands in his. When Lola gave a slow nod of assent, he continued. “When I first saw you, I felt like I’d been hit by a bolt of lightning. You radiated pureness, a sweet innocence that was intoxicating. I was so overcome by the feelings I had for you basically immediately, that I withdrew, I created a distance between us.” He kept his eyes locked on hers, the possibility that he might lose her forever weighing on his mind.
“Beckett— “ she started to comfort him, but he silenced her with a stern glance that had her clamping her mouth shut again.
“But the thing is, I didn’t keep my distance. Not really. I found ways to get close to you, to learn about the things you like, to be with you when you did the activities you loved the most.”
Puzzled, Lola took a step back, giving her arm a hard tug to break free of his hold. “I don’t know where you’re going with this,” she admitted. That wasn’t true, though. Deep down, a part of her did know. A part of her knew exactly what he was trying to tell her and the realization had her skin crawling, the blood in her veins running cold.
“For a long time, I didn’t understand my obsession with you. Couldn’t understand why I wasn’t pleased to have someone like you as a sister to love and protect. I was angry, livid, in fact that we’d been thrown together as siblings and not given an alternate opportunity to meet.” He rubbed a hand down his face, dreading the words he had to say next. “And so, in an effort to get over my infatuation, I watched you. Took advantage of every chance to be close and observe the things that make you...you. I watched. I waited, and I bided my time. Knowing that the day would come when you’d be mine. And then...it did.”
Lola stood frozen to the spot. His words played on repeat in her head, mixed with the terror she’d felt in the park, the shame at school when her classmates had seen intimate photos of her. The thoughts she’d had that she was losing her mind.
“It was you. All of it...it was
