“Asher, fuck, don’t stop. I’m going to come.” He sucks harder while he gazes up at me. I’m not even surprised by how fast I come. Asher’s tongue skills are phenomenal, and he knows just how to get me off. I close my eyes and absorb the sensations of my orgasm rolling over me in sharp waves. My legs shake so much that he needs to wrap his arms around me to keep me from falling.
One minute, I’m standing—or rather, leaning—on Asher, and the next, I feel my back against the round mahogany table as he lays me down with his cock pressed against my heat. He pushes into me in one swift move, and my neck arches as I stretch to accommodate his length. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been doing this, my body will never adapt to how full I feel when Asher is inside me.
Asher leans down, wrapping a hand around my ankle and drawing my leg up to rest on his shoulder. The change of position allows me to take him deeper, and I cry out with pleasure. He’s relentless in his pace, each thrust almost punishing. It hurts, but the good kind. The kind I need to get out of my head. His hand wraps around my throat, fingers squeezing just enough. It turns me on so much, just the hint of a threat, and I spiral over the edge once more. We never break eye contact—his steely grays to my blue ones as my orgasm crashes over me.
“Fuck, Raine, baby, I’m coming.”
The muscles in Asher’s neck stand out in stark relief as he empties into me. I feel myself clench around him, and I dig my nails into my palms.
Drawing blood.
Getting lost in the pain.
Asher comes back into the living room with a warm cloth to clean me up and a pair of his sweats. He throws the sweats at me, and I catch them midair. “Wouldn’t want you dripping my cum all over these beautiful hardwood floors,” he smirks.
I give him a weak smile. Now that the orgasm haze has worn off, all my troubles have come rushing back.
“You good?” He strides over to me and runs a thumb over my lips.
“Hey, um, would you mind heading back to your own place? I’d like to be alone tonight.”
Concern flashes in his eyes. “Did something happen? Now, when we were fucking? Did I take it too far?”
“No, no. I’d just like to have some time alone tonight.”
“Fuck, baby. Please tell me I didn’t take it too far.”
“Of course not, you know I like it rougher than that.” I wink but then grow serious. “I just really want some alone time tonight.”
Asher’s concerned expression morphs into frustration. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled this. I’ve been pretty much all over the place since the photos started ramping up.
“You’re not serious, right? It’s three in the morning.”
I scoot off the table and pull his sweats on, bending down to roll the legs up at the ankles before heading to the bathroom. “I’m sorry, I know it is, I’m just too wound up, and I can’t be worried about keeping you up. It just makes me anxious, and I need to get some rest for the show tomorrow.”
Asher follows me and tugs my arm. Turning me to face him, he sweeps my hair out of my face. “You won’t bother me. I sleep like the dead.”
“Still…” I step out of his hold. “I’d prefer to be alone.”
His jaw ticks, and he runs a hand through his hair. “This is un-fucking-believable, Raine. You can’t keep fucking doing this. I’m not a fucking booty call.”
I rub my sternum, hating the pain and frustration I see in Asher’s eyes. “Ash, I can’t deal with this tonight. I know I’ve been crazy lately, but I’ll make it up to you. I just can’t tonight.”
A storm brews in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything. He just turns and walks into my room to gather his overnight bag. He still doesn’t have a drawer here—like I said, I’m not great with committing to commitment.
When he comes out, he’s dressed in jeans and a navy-blue hoodie. He walks over to where I’ve been standing since he left the room and kisses me on the temple. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. I just need tonight to collect my thoughts.
The door clicks shut, and I blow out a relieved breath. Finally, I can let the mask slip.
Chapter Two
Dale beams at me as I thrash out the last few beats of the song, and I grin back at him. Dale has been our regular lead dancer since we formed our band five years ago, and he’s been true to his word. Nothing changed between us, except we no longer use each other’s bodies to escape our tortured minds. I always felt guilty for my mental struggle with what happened on the farm. Even though it was messed up beyond comprehension, it was nothing compared to what Asher and Dale went through. Still, I found myself struggling to come to terms with how fucked up I was after they took me away from Samuel and my sisters, and how I hated everyone for freeing me from the farm.
Phoenix throws her guitar pick out to the empty stadium, causing a genuine laugh to rip free from my throat. All the tension from the last couple of weeks slips away as I forget about Bianca and her threats to focus on being in a space I love with the people I love. It’s our final soundcheck before the show tonight, and she sure as shit is taking things seriously. I still can’t believe we’re playing at Madison Square Garden. Just a couple of years ago we were living in a vermin-infested apartment on the outskirts of Boston, playing in every seedy bar in Roxbury, and spending
