“The body is a temple,” I recite after I’ve swallowed down more of his lunch.
“Temples are never empty though, are they?” he reasons in a wise tone. “Most have stained glass windows, pretty statues, and art inside. Mine just happens to be on the outside is all.”
“Sinner,” I accuse in a subdued tone as my eyes fall to my toes again.
“Everyone is a sinner in one way or another, Karolina. But that doesn’t mean we still can’t be friends, does it?”
The tone of his voice is still hopeful.
Hope.
Something I knew existed, but something that constantly eludes me when I try to find Charlie, and I dare to hope that he can lead me to Grace.
“So, listen,” he starts, his tone changing slightly, “I’ve gotta get going so I can finish my shift, but I was wondering if it would be alright if I came back tonight?”
I wiggle my toes again as I inhale deeply. I want to say no because I need to find Charlie, but Garbageman is nice to me.
“I don’t have to go inside,” he offers quickly, “I was just hoping I could take you to dinner is all.”
I lean over and open my mouth slightly, but instead of placing another piece of the sandwich into my mouth, Garbageman reaches for one of my hands and gives it to me to hold.
“Think about it, okay? I’ll come back later on this evening and if you want to accompany me to dinner, all you have to do is open the door. And if you don’t, no big deal! I’ll still see you in a week.”
I lean my face down and rip a piece of the sandwich off and begin to chew it quietly as Garbageman gets to his feet. My body has finally stopped rocking back and forth and I think it’s making him feel better about his chances tonight, but I haven’t decided yet.
My sister will always be the most important person in my life, no matter how kindly anyone else may attempt to treat me.
“Garbageman?” I call out quietly as he reaches the end of my broken walkway. When he turns to glance at me with a raised eyebrow, I drop the sandwich into the paper bag and get to my feet. “Knock six times, three different ways so I know it’s you.”
A big smile spreads across his lips and he nods before he turns and heads for his truck.
I wait until he gets in, and when he starts to drive away, he honks the horn a couple of times which I know will anger anyone still sleeping.
But I still raise a hand and wave at him quickly.
Maybe if he can teach me to be normal, I can show Grace how it feels when I find her again.
Chapter Six
I empty the gallons of water I managed to walk out of the local grocery store with a few hours ago into my metal basin. Thou shall not steal, I scold myself over and over until all three of the plastic bottles are empty.
I’ll beg a god that hates me for forgiveness after I go out with Garbageman and hope that maybe the great cosmic man in the sky will hear me for once.
And if he does acknowledge my whispered prayer, then I’ll know that I can ask to be reunited with my Grace next.
I toss the last bottle to the side and clear my throat as I step into the basin. I scoop some water up in the palms of my hands and reach up to dump it on my hair. I don’t think I have any shampoo and conditioner left, but I’m hoping that enough water will help get at least some of the oil out.
I wrap my arms around myself as I rest my cheek against my bended knees. I shouldn’t have even considered this, but Garbageman is the only person that I’m starting to see clearly. His essence stays with me after he leaves unlike most I come across, and it would be nice to have a good meal for once.
Don’t close your eyes.
“I won’t,” I promise her.
Grab the cloth and clean yourself up, then get dressed and wait for him.
“Okay,” I agree softly.
I reach over the side of the basin and pick the rag up from the floor, dip it into the water, and begin to wash myself as best as I can.
The next time I go to the grocery store, I’ll have to get more soap, but much like my hair, I hope the thought will count enough for him to still want to be seen with me.
After I’ve run the damp cloth against my body a few more times, I scoop more water over my head. I’m feeling tired sitting here and it means I’ll fall asleep if I don’t get up and find something to do until Garbageman gets here.
I’m looking at my reflection in the tower of pots I set up in my bedroom. Since I don’t take the lantern out of the room, I knew this would be the only place to try for a little light and to see how I look.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
Because my other dress is still soaking in the bucket, my little black dress is the only other option to look somewhat decent. I reach down for the hem and try to pick off as many blades of grass as I can. I never did remember to wash this after I came back from the cemetery and I’m hoping he won’t mind it if he happens to notice.
A few moments later, a knock at the door gets my attention. I assume it’s Garbageman since the sun went down about an hour ago.
Is he nice?
“Yes.”
Do you like him?
“He’s nice.”
I give the top pot a gentle push and listen as it clatters to the ground. A few seconds later, another knock in a different sequence greets
