"He's probably just wondering how we can convince you to lose your v-card tonight," Chloe said as the elevator doors closed us into the tight space.
“I'm really not,” Hugo groaned. “Please don't make me think about her sex life.”
“I don't have a sex life,” I said, rolling my eyes as Chloe's face filled my vision.
"That changes tonight," she said. "We're in fucking Ibiza, Isa. Going to a party full of wealthy men who probably know how to fuck. Don't be the virgin when you go off to college. Please," she begged.
I bit my lip, wondering what was so wrong with being a virgin. Watching my friends have their hearts walked all over throughout school by boy after boy, I had to think I was the lucky one. It wasn't like I was waiting because I believed my one true love would come to sweep me off my feet.
It just hadn't happened.
It was hard to be interested in high school boys when I dreamt of phantom hands reaching out from the inky darkness to wrap me in a suffocating embrace. It was hard to want a boy to hold my hand at the movie theater when I woke up in a sweat after dreaming of hands on my throat.
How could a man ever compare to a phantom who didn't exist?
"Fine," I groaned as we stepped out of the elevator and made our way down the hall. I wouldn't give it up to just any man. He couldn't touch me in the way I wanted, not if I wanted to remember who I was supposed to be, but I didn't want someone to make love to me, either.
My life was a juxtaposition of reality and desire, and of using one to beat back the other daily. Phantom shadows stood everywhere, calling me to the dark. Pulling me from the depths of memories better left in my past.
As Chloe pushed open the door to our room, I moved into the space and dropped my suitcase by one of the beds. “Estoy enfermo,” I joked, likely butchering the pronunciation and looking away from Hugo as he smirked at me.
“You’re not sick,” he laughed. “We won’t let you stay in the hotel room tonight, entiende?”
“Claro,” I sighed, refusing to look back at him. I wished I knew more than just the basic Spanish he’d taught me, and would have loved nothing more than to curse him out in his first language.
Hugo said his goodbyes, going to the room next to ours to get some sleep before the party. I knew it wasn’t worth the effort to fight. I stared out the window, looking at the center of Ibiza Town in the distance while my face burned with the heat of the sun.
Then I turned and went to take my nap, hoping it would rejuvenate me enough that the dark side of desire stopped calling to me.
4 Rafael
Making my way through the lobby to the pool area at the back of the hotel, I admired the dim lighting and orchid glow to the water, courtesy of the underwater lights I'd arranged on Isa's behalf, in her favorite color. Lounges remained on one side of the pool, but the rest of the deck had been cleared for mingling or dancing. People already enjoyed the festivities, either swimming in the warm water of the pool, making their way down to the private beach, or dancing away to the steady and seductive beat of the approved list of music I'd given to the manager for the night's event.
I loved Ibiza's techno as much as the next person, but Isa required something more subtle for her first foray into the world of sin and desire.
The closed guest list meant that, while there were enough people around to make her feel comfortable, it wasn't overwhelming. We wouldn't be trapped in a crush of bodies when I convinced her to dance with me. We'd be able to move to the cabanas on the beach if she wanted to talk without the music serving as a distraction. I had arranged everything to absolute perfection while the poolside bar served drinks faster than normal. The threat of displeasing me served as a wonderful enticement for good service, but I didn't care about the service any of the other partygoers received.
Only one woman mattered to me.
Feminine nails trailed over my shoulders, threatening to leave pink marks on my skin as I jolted away from the invading touch. "Hello, handsome," the woman purred, staring up into my face as she gave me her brightest smile.
"I'm with someone," I said, turning on my heel to scour the party for Isa. I'd have recognized her anywhere after spending far too many months looking at her photos, but there was no sign of my unique beauty anywhere.
I suddenly wished I hadn't left my phone in my room, wanting nothing more than to check for updates from Hugo. It didn't matter that he hadn't messaged me to say they were on their way a mere ten minutes prior. I needed to see her.
If I had to suffer through her absence for much longer, I might climb out of my skin.
Or skin somebody alive. The latter was preferable.
Making my way to the pool, I stepped down into the shallow water and made my way to one of the lounges in the shallow edges. Water slid over my skin as I laid out my body in a way that would give me a perfect view of the entrance.
Time ticked by in an unending cycle while I waited, watching as a handful of women filtered into the pool area with bright smiles. More than one set of eyes landed on me, naïve to the monster lurking in their midst, but my single-minded focus on the entryway squashed anything that might have
