Someone she could confide in. Someone she could laugh with. Someone she could lead alongside.
She was sure that he didn't feel the same way, not anymore.
Chapter 22
The next morning, they silently packed their things and made their way home.
Aria grew nervous once the palace came into view. Last night, she hadn't been that worried about what would happen to Ben. But now, she could feel the worry making her chest tighten.
Lex hadn't seemed angry. In fact, he seemed totally at ease. But that didn't make her feel any better.
Guards greeted them once they arrived, and they took the horses away. Aria and Lex entered the palace and made their way to the throne room. Everyone they passed greeted them like they'd been missed. And maybe they had.
Aria stopped at the doors and told him that she was going to their rooms instead. She didn't feel like talking to anyone. He shrugged.
She made her way upstairs and drew herself a bath. She tried to relax, but her thoughts about Ben and what would happen made it impossible.
Eventually, she figured that she'd have to face the others, so she made her way to the throne room once again.
She noticed that Lex had left, and Grace was nowhere to be seen, so she joined her friends.
A few people asked about her trip, and she did her best to seem happy and at ease. The only person that could tell that something was wrong was Mara. They made their way into the garden for some privacy.
Mara didn't seem surprised by what Aria told her.
"What do you think he'll do?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," Aria answered. "But whatever it is...I don't think I'll be able to stop him. He-he doesn't trust me anymore."
It hurt to say. But she was sure of it.
"Give him time, Aria," Mara said. "He's not...he's, not a bad guy. He'll trust you again, eventually. I'm sure he understands, on some level. But you're right," Mara said. "It's his call. I don't think anything you do or say will make a difference."
That night, Aria stayed up and waited for Lex to come back. She waited for what felt like hours, and just when she was about to give in to sleep, she heard him walking through the doors of the front room.
She stayed in bed. She wasn't sure what she would say, but she felt like talking to him. It was weird. She felt like she missed him, even though they'd been together that day. Maybe it was the distance he'd placed between them that made her feel that way.
After a little while, he joined her in bed.
"Hey," she said, a little timidly.
"Hey," he sighed, placing an arm over his eyes.
"Look, Lex, I know you're mad at me and-"
"I'm not mad at you," he said, cutting her off.
"You're-you're not?" she asked, surprised.
"No, Aria," he said, shifting to his side, "I'm not mad. So whatever you want to say, save it."
"But-"
"I've had a long day. I don't feel like talking," he said, cutting her off again.
"Okay," she sighed. Well, at least he wasn't mad at her anymore. That meant something, right?
The next few days, it seemed like he went out of his way to avoid her. The only time she ever really saw him was in the throne room during meals. And every time she tried to talk to him about anything, he'd shrug it off with barely a comment.
Every night, she fell asleep, waiting for him to join her. In the morning, he'd leave before she could get a chance to talk to him.
She tried to understand. He needed space. He still hadn't said anything about Ben.
But she found herself growing more and more impatient and angry. Was Lex just going to ignore her for the rest of their lives?
On the fifth night, she’d finally had enough. She forced herself to stay awake, waiting for him. When he finally showed up, he looked surprised and disappointed to find her sitting by the fireplace in their room, writing in her journal.
He gave her a nod in acknowledgment and got ready for bed.
She wasn't sure how to initiate the conversation, so she got in after him. He ignored her and turned his back, just like she knew he would.
"Look, I know you need space. I get that," she said. "But you can't just ignore me forever."
"I'm not ignoring you."
That pissed her off. She knew he was lying.
"Who's the liar now?" she asked before she could stop herself.
She sighed. It was the wrong way to start the conversation. The last thing she wanted was to fight with him. But even arguing was better than being ignored.
"Will you just talk to me? I know you're mad, and I know you have a right to be. But at least talk to me about it!"
"I don't really feel like talking."
"Well, I do! And I've respected your wishes for the past few days, but I'm tired of being ignored."
He sighed. "I have to be up early tomorrow, so I'd really like to sleep."
"Why?"
"I'll be leaving in the morning. I have to visit a few places. I won't be back for a few days."
"Can I come with you?"
"No"
She sighed again. "Why? Why can't I come?"
"Because I don't want you to."
She didn't have anything to say to that. What was there to say, anyway? He'd made it clear that he didn't care if she stayed or not. And now he didn't want her to come with him, wherever it was that he was going.
She turned to her side. She wasn't sure who she was angrier with—Lex, for ignoring her, or herself for being upset that he didn't want her company.
The next three days passed agonizingly slow.
Aria tried to keep herself busy.
