Suddenly, the conversation they had the night before ran through Aria's mind. 'I hope you know how much he cares about you,' Grace had said. Why was she so adamant about the fact that he cared for Aria? Could it be because Grace knew that this would eventually happen? That Aria would find out?
Either way, Grace would never tell her. Aria was sure of it.
But....but maybe she'd tell Mara. They were close, after all. Aria asked Mara to join her for dinner in her quarters for some privacy.
After Aria told her everything Ben had said, she told her about her own suspicions. About the guards leaving, about Lex questioning her, about the time he'd said he had to tell her something.
Aria had hoped that Mara would have some sort of explanation. She hoped that the girl would have some kind of proof that Ben was wrong, that Aria was just paranoid. But she didn't.
They sat in silence for a while, after Aria had told her.
"If...if that's true...then...Lex has.." she began but didn't finish.
Aria looked down at her plate. She hadn't eaten anything. She felt like she was going to throw up.
"A few weeks ago..." Mara began again. She looked like she was deep in thought, putting the pieces of something together.
"A few weeks ago, I walked in on Grace and Lex having a conversation about...about the guards. I heard Grace say, 'they should have been back by now'....but when they saw me, they stopped talking. I asked her about it," Mara said, looking a little moved to anger now, "and-and she said it was nothing. A scouting trip. But she was acting..."
Aria put her head in her hands, trying to control her breathing. She felt so foolish, so goddamn foolish. When she realized she'd been hoping that Mara would give her a reason to believe that there was some sort of explanation that didn't involve being lied to for months.
"So...Lex and Grace have been lying to us? All this time?" Mara asked, looking as hurt as Aria felt.
Aria didn't have an answer for her.
By the time that Lex got back the next day, the only thing Aria felt was anger. She was angrier than she'd ever been in her entire life. She told Mara not to mention anything to Grace. She wanted to talk to Lex first. She had to hear it from him.
She waited for him in their rooms, knowing it was probably the first place he'd go to once he got home.
Home.
The word made bile rise in her throat.
"Hey," he said, smiling at her once he was inside.
"Hey," she said, not smiling back. Meeting his eyes with a glare. "Did your trip go, okay?"
"Yeah," he said, walking to their room.
She followed.
"What'd you do?" she asked.
He was on his side of the room, changing out of his clothes. She stayed by the fireplace.
"Nothing really," he said.
Had he always been so vague? All this time? Had she been distracted by his smile?
"Nothing at all?" she asked, focusing on keeping her voice even.
"Why the sudden interest?" he asked, turning around to look at her.
Her hands clenched in fists at her sides.
He noticed.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
And at that moment, she knew that there was no reasonable explanation. Nothing that could convince her that he hadn't been lying to her for months. That he hadn't betrayed her.
"Why did you ask me to marry you?" she asked through clenched teeth.
"W-what?" he asked, walking towards her.
"Answer the fucking question," she said, taking a step back once he was close enough to reach out and touch her.
He studied her face for a few moments, and she could see the realization dawning on him. He knew she knew.
"Aria..." he said, looking a little desperate.
"You knew," she said. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as she studied his. She wasn't sure what she was looking for. Or who she was looking at, exactly.
"Aria, please-" he said, reaching forward to grab her arm.
She took another step back.
"You knew...all this time...you knew," she said, fighting to get the words past the lump in her throat.
"Just let me explain," he said, still coming towards her.
"No! I don't want to hear anything you have to say," she screamed, turning to leave the room. But he followed.
"Aria, please just let me explain, I-" he said from behind her.
But she kept going, walking out of their rooms, not caring if his guards or others would hear them arguing.
"Aria, stop," he said, grabbing her forearm once they'd made it down the hall.
"Don't touch me," she screamed, yanking her arm from his grip.
"Please just let me explain," he said, looking at her.
"Explain what? That you've-you've been lying to us since we got here? That you've been lying to me?" she asked. Her unshed tears were blurring her vision.
"You don't understand, it's-"
"No! I don't want to hear your fucking explanation! There's nothing you can say to make this okay. Nothing! All of your...your talk, about loyalty and trust was-was bullshit," she yelled.
He looked away, running a hand through his hair.
"You-you ruined everything," she said, fighting tears.
"Aria..."
"I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much," she said. Her voice sounded different, even to her own ears. In it was all the anger, all the hurt she felt at his betrayal.
This time, when she turned to leave, he didn't follow.
Chapter 32
A few hours after their fight, she heard him calling her name. She saw the guards searching for her from her vantage point in a tree on the edge of the forest.
She sat there for hours, watching the sun slowly make its way to the horizon. At some point, she stopped crying. Her anger at Lex had turned to anger at herself. For not finding out sooner. She'd been comfortable here. Happy even. Content. She had enough to eat, and she had
