She shook her head.
“Junior reporter, junior lawyer.” He juggled his hands, waited for her to get the picture. She stared at him.
He sighed, for all the world the frazzled employer with too much on his shoulders. “When he called me and told me what’d happened to you, I offered to help. We’ve all been in a tough spot and good reporters stick together. We have crime reporters, some of the best, in fact. Not saying you aren’t good, Billie,” Sam shrugged his shoulders, “you’ve had issues, this I know. Different paper, different country, but still, shit sticks you know?” He blinked long and slow. “You come from a prominent Sydney family, government connections and all, surely you don’t believe people wouldn’t notice?”
Billie kept her silence.
“I don’t want another crime reporter, especially one who fucked up as badly as you did.” He shrugged. “Nothing personal, you understand. I can’t annoy my bosses and readers by taking on a washed-up reporter from another country and ditching one of our established guys to give her room. We have standards here, unwritten rules we go by. It’s not done, not on my watch anyway.”
“No, I’m not washed up. I made a mistake, if that’s what you want to call it, but —”
“You did, you fucked up royally.” Sam leaned back in his chair and wiped his beefy hands up his face, over his head, messing up his hair even more. “Look, give it a go, take your time to settle in and we’ll see what happens in the future. I’m not saying you have to be in this department forever. You need to make a name for yourself that is in no way connected to the monumental balls-up you left behind in America. Understand?”
Billie fought back tears. She opened her mouth to speak, and the words jammed in her throat and she almost choked. You fool, letting yourself get carried away with unrealistic dreams. Her chest tightened with the lack of air getting to her lungs and she had to fight to keep the panic at bay and breathe. Embarrassed, she fumbled in the pocket of her jacket for a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes, wiped at the dribble on her lips.
“Look, girl, don’t take it to heart. Shit happens to the best of us and you’ll get through this, I promise you that. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this business it’s that today’s news fades from the public’s mind pretty bloody fast. Most people here won’t put you and the murder case together anyway. Until I’m sure, I can’t take the risk.”
She nodded and gave her nose a good blow. How freaking embarrassing. The breakdowns and tears should have dried up by now, but it would appear that wasn’t so. “Sorry. It’s been a pretty rough year and I was kind of hoping for things to go back to normal.”
“I understand that and I’m sorry. Do a good job with this story, find a link that the public will like. War hero or some such thing, married into the rich local family from what I heard. Try to get a personal-interest side of things if you can. You can’t go wrong tugging at people’s heartstrings and we’ll work on better jobs if the public take a shine to you.” He scratched his chin and frowned. “I do have a good one coming up I might be able to swing your way, plus a couple of other things in the works that you can work on as well, fill in pieces. Let me think on it and see how you go with this one first, eh?” He stood up, signalling the end of her meet and greet. “Murielle!”
“Yes, boss.” She bustled into the office, her harried expression appearing to be the norm.
“Show Billie to her cube, will you, and introduce her to the right people.” He picked up a pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and placed it between his lips and stalked out of the office without giving her another glance. The smell of stale cigarettes hovered in the doorway.
“This way, Billie. Let me introduce you to the team you’ll be working with.” Murielle smiled, her dour expression disappearing. “Nice to have you on board, too.”
“Thanks.” Billie stood and slung her bag over her shoulder again. Silently, she followed the older woman out, wondering what the heck she’d got herself into and if it was worth quitting before she got in too deep. She knew they were empty thoughts because she didn’t have the heart to give that news to her parents after all they’d done for her and Alex. They’d tried so hard to help her after Stephen died, aiding long distance with the funeral arrangements while they made their way to San Francisco from Australia and then assisted her with the move to Sydney after her spate of ‘incidents’ that had her ducking for cover.
Her boss in San Francisco at the time had tried to allow Billie some slack because of Stephen, but the powers that be had decided to cut her loose once and for all. Regardless of how much money she’d made for them over the years. Regardless of the huge following she had with their readers. And regardless of the cry of outrage that resulted when said readers found out she’d been axed for not offering up her snitch and making the odd blunder due to stress.
Murielle strode briskly down the corridor and Billie had no choice but to hurry after her or be left behind. She ground to a halt as fast as she walked. “Right, this is Eric, subediting, Roger, photographer, although you’ll probably do a lot of your own pictures, and that charmer in the corner is our other journalist, Richard. Everyone, this is Billie and she’s the new recruit for Travel and Home section in the Sun-Herald. Be nice to her please.”
“Welcome, Billie.” Richard eased from his chair and languidly strolled over to
