“I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.” Hamish continued to talk to her, sweeping his hand over her hair and holding her close until her heart rate slowed.
“I lost him.” Her son came to a halt beside them, bent over and rested his hands on his knees.
Billie glanced at him, while still trembling in Hamish’s arms, Alex’s words registering in her brain. “Tell me you didn’t chase him.” She pushed herself up away from Hamish, her sore arm hanging limp by her side.
“Mom, calm down.”
“No! How many times have I told you not to put yourself in danger?” Tears poured down her cheeks. “You can’t do everything yourself. We discussed this, Alex. You’re not old enough to step up and be the man of the family. Carrying on like this will only get you into difficult situations you won’t be able to get out of.” She brushed at the tears streaming down her cheeks, knowing full well her words had wounded him but determined to make him understand her concerns. “You promised me, Alex, you promised.” She sagged down on the path and howled. She couldn’t even keep herself from harm and her son was too young to take on that responsibility no matter how much he professed to be ready. How would she ever be able to keep anyone safe, to make sure he made it to adulthood when she was like this?
* * *
Hamish scrutinised the woman sobbing in a heap at his feet and her son hovering protectively over her. Her reaction to what had just happened would seem way out of proportion to most people, but it all made perfect sense to him. No wonder Frederick had asked him to keep an eye on them and mentioned his papers as an inducement to help out. Classic ‘fight or flight’, but this certainly wasn’t the twist he’d expected from this broken family.
When faced with adversity some people ran – the flight part of the bodies defence. Others stayed to fight, adrenaline coursing through their veins to help in an age-old process of fighting for your life.
What Billie had presented was neither of those tendencies. She’d had an almost complete breakdown and reacted badly when Alex had done what a lot of people would do naturally. Delayed flight reflex. She was being overprotective and more than a little bit unreasonable in his opinion.
“Mom, I wasn’t in danger. It’s not like I was the only guy chasing the dirty little thief.” Alex hovered over her, beseeching Hamish for help.
Deciding now was the time to avoid confrontations that could turn the situation more explosive than it already was, Hamish stepped in. “Billie, let’s get you up and find somewhere to sit. I want to look at that shoulder of yours. See if we need to go to the ambulance station for a check-up.” He slid his hands under her good arm and helped her to her feet, while her son stood by helpless and confused.
“I’m fine.” She pulled away from him, dusted herself down and then touched the scratches on her palms while nursing her shoulder. “Dammit, look at this mess.” Billie wiped at the tears on her cheeks with the backs of her hand and stared down at the ground. Her constant companion, a notebook and pen lay on the grass where they’d fallen, the book open with dirt and grass stains smeared on the pages. Before she could reach for them, Hamish bent down and picked them up.
She snatched them from him. “Thank you.”
“Mom. Stop this. Hamish is trying to help you.” The boy’s lips quivered and Hamish smiled, trying to reassure him that he had it under control.
“Come on, Billie. Let’s go and have a cup of tea. I’m suddenly rather thirsty and a sit-down to regroup would be good.
She lifted her head and regarded a spot behind him. The distance in her gaze worried him. It was as though she’d blanked out, pushing away the traumatic event that had just happened. Billie finally focused on him. “Oh right. Of course. Forgive me.”
He slipped his hand through her good arm and urged her in the right direction.
“I’m fine.” Billie moved away from him and the three of them headed for the ladies auxiliary tent for tea and a bite to eat.
Hamish patted a worried-looking Alex on the shoulder and leaned down to whisper into his ear. “It’s fine, I’ll keep an eye on her. Don’t let it upset you so much.”
Later that night after he’d walked them home, Hamish sat in his flat and took notes for the case study. Billie’s reaction wasn’t textbook by any means. Certainly he’d seen people try to forget what had happened after a sad or violent episode, but her overreaction followed by totally wiping it from her mind was more than a little strange. Hamish especially found the swiftness with which her moods changed concerning and the way her eyes flickered seconds before was most unusual, something he’d seen before.
Everyone had different ways of dealing with grief, and from what he’d heard of the conversation between Billie and Alex, it sounded as though she held responsible for her husband’s death. From what Frederick had said, it couldn’t have been prevented nor predicted. Something else must be bothering her and the psychologist
