She heaved out a sigh and trailed her fingers in the dust on the floor, making smaller and smaller swirls. She could sit here and wallow in self-pity or she could move herself and do her job. There was far too much to discover here, too much to try to fix. The time spent in going over her problems could be better spent researching. It was what she was good at.
Chapter 13
Sydney 1980
Hamish hurried down the street toward his flat and noticed Alex sitting on the front step outside their door. The boy had his head on his knees, a twig in his hand scratching patterns on the concrete. Hamish raised an eyebrow, his senses on alert. Not his usual posture, was something was bothering him? It would be a shame if that was the case. He’d settled into school well enough and already made a few good friends. Last night he’d shared fish and chips with Hamish and chatted about their life before the move to Sydney and hadn’t mentioned anything troubling him.
Alex was nothing if not candid. He didn’t seem to be worried about holding anything back, unlike Billie. And Alex missed his mother when she wasn’t around, that was very obvious in the way he spoke about her.
He bounded up the stairs and dropped his briefcase and perched on the step beside Alex. “What’s happening, my young friend?” Hamish undid the button on his jacket and leaned over, elbows resting on his knees.
Sadness dulled Alex’s normally sparkling eyes. “Mom’s not home yet.”
“Didn’t she call you last night?”
“Yeah she did and she promised to be home today. Said she’d leave by lunchtime, which meant she’d be here for dinner.” He poked at a spot of paint on his trousers with the twig, flicking it down onto the pathway when it released its grip. “Something doesn’t feel right.”
“Have you talked to your grandparents?” Hamish glanced up at the house, expecting to see Lucy at the window. The curtains never moved.
“Yeah. They said she’ll be here and not to worry. If she’d been held up she would have called me.”
Hamish ruffled up his hair. “Well, in that case, you can stop worrying. She’s probably caught in traffic. Sorry to say it’s the bane of living in Sydney and the reason I tend to use the train when I can rather than my car.”
“That’s what Gran said, but I don’t know. My gut’s all funny like I can sense something wrong.” He waited, a twitch at his lips as if expecting his concerns to be dismissed.
“Did I tell you my mother called? She’s enquiring to see if you still want the pup you met last week.” Over the road the houses lit one by one up as the sun went down. “I had thought of going down on the weekend if you feel like a trip. You can have another look at it for yourself.”
“What if Mom’s not back by then?”
“I’m sure she will be. I doubt anything more than a traffic is holding her up. She can come too of course. My mother would love to see her again.”
Alex nodded his head. “Sure. If it’s still okay for me to have a dog here.”
“As far as we’re concerned, yes. Your grandparents agree, that pup is yours.” He put an arm around Alex, giving him a hug. “Any idea of what you want to call her?”
A shake of his head gave Hamish the answer.
“Oh well, plenty of time. Some dogs you need to get to know before you land them with a name, get to know their personality so you can choose a name that suits them.”
* * *
“Mom?”
“Alex. I’m so sorry to do this to you.” She closed her eyes and gripped the phone to her ear. The dark motel room was cold, its fittings plain and functional, nothing more.
“I’ve decided to stay here for a bit longer.” Billie reached for the glass of water and gulped down most of it, doing her best to hang onto reality. She’d hurt him by delaying her return, she knew that, but she couldn’t go back to Sydney yet. Not until she figured out what was happening to her. Alex had been through enough.
“But you said you’d only be a day or two.” The sound of disbelief in his voice hit her in the gut. She was letting him down. “Are you okay? I mean, have you had any more …” He didn’t need to finish the sentence for her to know what he was referring to.
“No. Honestly I’m fine.” The words were rushed, but Billie didn’t want to give voice to her anxiety attacks. Alex had already witnessed more than he should and she hadn’t told him about them all, there was no need. She feared if Hamish found out there had been more slips from reality, he would try and push her parents to commit her. Humiliation still dogged her every time she thought about him. She was on borrowed time around the professor, regardless of how calm and unaffected by her meltdowns he pretended to be.
The theory that it was all related to Stephen’s death seemed to have less and less credibility with each passing day. She kept going back to the same time in her mind, seemingly the same property. A sneaking suspicion crept up her throat leaving her light headed and gasping for breath. Surely not. It didn’t seem possible, did it? Could she really have lost her grip on reality? Was this the place her mind felt at
