“Such as?”
“That manuscript I was telling you about—the family saga. I sent him the first three chapters to look at. I’m kind of hoping he will like it enough to bargain with me, maybe let me out of my contract and sign this book instead. I have to try, Blake.”
“When did you send it to him?”
“A few days ago.”
“I see. Well, I guess that’s it then.” You will get pulled in again, forgetting us out here and that will be the end of it. I have to try one more time. “I guess I have to say thanks for being here while it lasted then. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“There are things I have to work through.”
“Funny I know, but for some reason I didn’t think that was so important anymore. I really thought you had committed to ‘us’ after the other night. You know, the night you came to my bed.” Bitterness crawled up his throat and he lashed out. “And what about leaving us hanging? The kids adore you, I adore you. Please don’t do this, Del.”
“I’ve already told you, Paul wants to talk to me face to face about the contract and about the new manuscript. These are not things I can deal with over the phone. Besides, I still have things to clear up in the city if I decide to come back. My apartment, my life!”
“If you decide. Right. Makes me feel wonderful to be relegated to an if. Funny how I thought we had moved past all of the bullshit, Del. I thought we were up to telling each other the truth now.”
He ignored the panicked look in her eyes and continued with his tirade. “How do you think the kids are going to feel when you leave? Wasn’t last night enough to show you how much this is going to hurt them? They love you and you’re going to walk away from them, and make them feel worthless. It’s not nice, Del. You’re going to leave them broken hearted, just like you are doing to me.”
She shook her head sadly and reached out a hand to touch him. Angry, Blake moved out of her reach. He’d given in and told her his worst fears and still she was determined to up and leave him. Gutted beyond belief, he said, “Go then, but don’t think we’ll be sitting around waiting for you to come back.”
Her spine stiffened as he met her flashing gaze, recognizing the hurt there and something else…defiance, disappointment maybe. The same emotions he’d seen in Ellie’s eyes before she’d driven away and he’d never held her again.
“You know what, Blake? Throughout all this, it’s been about me hurting you. Not once have you given me something to come back for…other than a roll in the sack and a position only a notch higher than a live-in housekeeper.” The dead calm of her voice chilled him to the bone. “You profess to love me, expect me to give up everything I’ve worked hard to achieve. What do I get in return?”
He stared at her in silence, his mind blank, unable to process the meaning of her question through the haze of pain that gripped his heart. All he saw stretching before him was emptiness. The return of the long, dark days that had followed Ellie’s death. It was happening all over again, his worst nightmare.
Her final words reached for him down the tunnel of darkness. “Exactly…nothing. I’ll call up and get a seat on the bus then. Would you mind taking me into town?”
Blake swallowed the lump in his throat. “Bluey can take you. I have things to do.” He turned and left her standing there. He kicked the ground as he walked, knowing he was behaving like a child, but unable to help himself.
Chapter 16
“You can’t leave us.” Lilly grabbed her hand and the tears welled in her eyes, trickling down her cheeks. Her thumb came out of her mouth and she held onto Delilah with both hands. “Don’t go, please don’t leave me.”
“Sweetie, I have to go but I want to come back.” The kids’ reaction to her goodbyes broke her heart. Blake had walked out when she told him she wanted to talk to them before she left. Del felt she owed it to them to explain it in her own words.
Royce refused to listen and stormed out, leaving her with a distraught little girl.
She looked up and her eyes filled with tears. “Honey, I can’t stay. I’m one of those people who has to do things the right way. I have to go, but I will think of you and Royce every day.”
Lilly threw herself into Del’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Why did this have to hurt so damned much? Life is so unfair sometimes, even when you try to do the right thing.
There was a cough at the door and Bluey stood there, his face thunderous. “If you’re going, get out here now.” He turned and walked away.
Delilah unwound Lilly’s arms from around her neck. She wiped her fingers under the little girl’s eyes, brushing away the tears. “I’ll do my best to come back, okay? You be a good girl for your dad, honey.” She dropped a kiss on the wayward blonde curls. “I love you.”
Lilly ran to her room and Del flinched when the door slammed. She walked to the door and picked up her suitcase, grabbing her laptop from the hall table before heading out. She looked around for Royce but couldn’t see him. Down at the sheds, no doubt. Blake was nowhere in sight.
Bluey waited at the gate, sitting inside the farm ute with the engine running. Del walked down with her suitcase, soaking
