“I bet you wouldn’t say that if you knew what I myself got involved in.” Her tears tipped over her eyelashes and streaked down her face unheeded. April wasn’t able to hold them back. The floodgates were well and truly opened.
Atticus moved over to the seat she was huddled on and pulled her into his arms, holding her to his chest while she cried out the pain and misery she’d kept inside for the last few years. His hand smoothed her hair and he murmured soothing words as April let it all out.
When she could breathe without gulping out another sob, April unattached herself from his arms. “Your shirt is a mess. Sorry.”
“Don’t you worry about a thing, darlin.’ It’ll dry soon enough.” He handed her a tissue from the pocket in his jacket and watched as she gathered herself, and mopped up her tears.
“I’m sorry. I don’t usually lose it like that.” She scrunched up the tissues in a ball, her cheeks heating with shame.
“Well, maybe that’s the reason you were so upset now. If you did let it out or at least talk about what’s bothering you more often, you wouldn’t have to go through this again. You know you can always talk to me, April. Nothing’s changed because you’ve grown up.”
She shook her head, looked over the harbor and wished all of her problems would float away on the waves. “It’s not that simple anymore. I was a little kid then and the biggest problem I had was having to go home and do my chores and face my father’s wrath.”
“A problem is a problem. The size of it doesn’t change what it is.” He leaned forward and gave her his trademark smile where his eyes crinkled and the dimples beside his bushy moustache deepened the intensity of it. “Nothing you can tell me will make me love you any less. You have to believe that.”
“I’m not sure that’s quite true. Once I say it, I can’t take it back, and I so want to stay in Hope Harbor.” April blew her nose, and then wiped a fingertip under her eyes.
“Give it a go. I promise not to judge and despite what you think, I’d never ask you to move away now you’ve come home where you belong.”
She watched his face, looking for any sign of mistrust or doubt. All she could see was the love and calmness that Atticus always showed her. She dropped her head and let her hair shade her face as the words came.
“It was when we were in college. Drew and I didn’t get to see each other and things got a little bit tense. He was so busy studying, working too many shifts, and didn’t have time for useless chit chat from me. We weren’t that nice to one another and before you know it, we hardly ever spoke. I thought he no longer cared and I was too hurt to chase him about it.” She cleared her throat and looked up. Atticus sat watching her with the same calm smile on his face.
“Anyway, I met Rob and we just clicked. We liked the same things and he made me feel special. I fell for him hook, line, and sinker. It wasn’t until he had a ring on my finger that I found out what he was really like.” April bit her bottom lip, trying to keep her heart from racing. He couldn’t hurt her now.
“If I got home late from work, if I didn’t wash his shirts the right way, or if the dinner wasn’t to his liking, he would lash out at me. I should have left before I fell pregnant with Tilly but I didn’t. He’d hit me and then say he was sorry and it wouldn’t happen again. But it always did.” Her pulse picked up and started to race, but she was determined not to let it stop her saying it out loud. “He kept me on a tight rein even when he was away on deployment. I had little money, no friends, and I was scared constantly. I began to dream about the times he would be overseas and that was the only respite I got. Even going to work seemed to be a battle. He knew people in the hospital I worked at, and I worried they spied on me for him. He wasn’t home when Tilly was born, but when he got back he was so in love with his little girl, I couldn’t bear to take her away from him.” The tissue in her hands was now a pile of shredded paper on her knee. She scooped it up and dropped it on the table.
“It became a cycle. He would be sweet as pie and then something would set him off. This would go on until he was shipped out again. He’d call me, saying how much he missed us and how sorry he was. Promised to get help and anything else I wanted if I’d only forgive him. Then, when he got home it would start again.” April brushed her hands up her arms, trying to rub away the goose bumps on her bare skin. “I fell pregnant again and he was home when Leo was born.”
“Did this have anything to do with you not coming home for your mother’s funeral?”
A strangled sob escaped her lips. “He said…Rob said that…since my mother and I didn’t really get along he wasn’t wasting money for me to come back.” She mopped at the tears.
“I knew it would have to be something pretty compelling to keep you away. Your father left the island after she died. Did you know that?”
April shook her head. “No. Dad and I stopped speaking before I went away to college.”
Atticus reached out and took her hand, giving her the courage
