“You know what, you’re already committed. Even if you don’t think you are, you’re toast, David.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
He wondered if he was better off leaving as he’d planned, if he ever sold the practice. Then he walked into his office and the display April had made stared him in the face. What was wrong with a bit of change?
His thoughts were all jumbled and he hated it. For so long he’d known what he wanted, what direction his life was taking. Now it felt as if someone had pulled the wheels off his train. There were more hurdles on the track than he thought possible and the biggest decision he had to make was whether or not he could change his way of thinking. Embrace the bright world that April lived in. Or should he give up and risk never finding love?
“We’re here if you want to talk.” Jake slapped him on the back. “It’s what friends do, right?”
David looked at his friends. “I really have no idea what to do. Honestly, I thought I had my life planned out before she came whirling into my life.”
“Welcome to our world.” Jake laughed. “Bella was the same. The Moore girls are different to anyone else I’ve met. But,” he lifted a finger, pointing at David. “They’re worth fighting for. That much I can tell you.”
Adam nodded. “I’ll second that. I can’t wait to marry Dakota.”
“I know they’re all lovely girls but, Adam, you changed your life for her. Was it really worth it? I mean, was it a hard decision to make?”
Adam leaned his elbows on the table, stared David in the eye. “Not in the slightest. I was at the end of my career anyway. I just had to find something to make me realize that and she was it.” He laughed. “Once I made the decision, everything fell into place. I’ve still got a job doing what I love even though it means a bit of travelling. But the most important thing is, I have Dakota by my side.”
“I’m not even sure what I want anymore.”
“Bull. You know exactly what you want, David. If you didn’t, why the long face?”
“It’s more than just deciding what to do about April. Sure, I think I love her but I have other things to deal with.”
Jake tipped his chin. “Such as?”
“A massive dose of guilt.” It even hurt to say the word, even to his best friends.
“You’re not still feeling like a dick because you took that year off and went travelling with… what’s her name again?”
“Elise. Yeah, I am. Can’t help it.”
Jake pushed his beer aside and leaned on the table. “Man, I’m going to tell you what I told Adam when he was chewing over his relationship with Dakota. Life is short, live it. Stop beating yourself up over everything you can’t change.” He picked up a coaster and tapped it on the table choosing his words. “When my wife was ill, we spent far too much time trying to find someone who would give us a scrap of hope for a cure. I even called you, remember? We knew it wasn’t possible and all it did was make us stress out over something we couldn’t change.”
“Understandable. But what does that have to do with me and now?”
“Because your mom and dad spoke to me, that’s what. They knew what I’d been through because, as you know, your dad was Lisa’s doctor.”
David stared, not sure he liked where this was going.
“What they asked me was this, if I could go back and start again to the day I got the diagnosis, what would I do different? You know what I said?”
David shook his head.
“I’d make the most of every damned day. No more scratching around for something I couldn’t have. No wasting a single moment and no making anyone feel they had to put their lives on hold for us while we dealt with the illness.”
David’s vision blurred.
“You know what I’m talking about. You need to let go of the guilt you feel living your own life. It was your father’s choice to not say anything while you were away. He wanted you to live, to do the things that made you happy. It made him feel better knowing he’d raised you right.”
“But I could have helped if I’d known. I never would have gone travelling if they’d told me. I’d have come home sooner.” A hand landed on his back and soothed him.
“He didn’t want that. What he wanted, and I think you know this, was for you to finish your training so you could take over the practice if that was what you wanted. Whether you keep it or not is irrelevant. What matters here is you letting go of the guilt. Then you can move on and make a decision about what you want.”
“The time we didn’t have though…”
“It’s not the amount of time you have, it’s the quality. Remember that.” Jake wiped his hand over his chin. “And the thing you might find the hardest to deal with, you couldn’t have done a thing, David. He knew that and so did your mom. Nothing anyone did would have made any difference.”
David thought about what Jake said. “You said if. He told me he wanted me to take over the business. I made him a promise.”
Jake picked up his beer and peered into the glass. “I doubt you’d remember clearly anything that was said that day. Are you sure you didn’t promise without him prompting you? Heart on your sleeve kinda thing?”
Had he? It was hard to recall what he said that day. There’d been tears and denial for sure but as to promises, David couldn’t recall. “I just don’t know.”
Chapter Eighteen
April smoothed down her plain white dress and did up her rainbow sandals, the only ode to her normal colorful wardrobe and spoke to her dog. “Sorry, buddy. You have to stay home this time.” She ignored the pleading look and picked up the
