He wandered over and sat at one end of her couch, facing her. “I’ve been on a negative, ‘I refuse to listen,’ tour since my father died.”
The hitch in his voice made her want to reach out and touch him but David had to deal with his demons and get it out of his system. Until he did, he wouldn’t be able to put his past behind him. Psychobabble one-oh-one if she remembered correctly.
“It all happened quite fast once I knew what was happening, the cancer diagnosis Dad didn’t tell me about, the terminal verdict they had hanging over their heads while I was away traveling instead of being with them. I wasn’t ready for it, you know? Too much too fast to deal with. It threw me and I had trouble dealing with it. My father was my hero. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have trained to be a doctor.” He wiped his hand over his eyes and she looked away, giving him a small gap of privacy to get control of his emotions. “By the time I got home and they told me, it was too late. There was a slim chance that they could give him a few more months if he underwent chemo but he refused as soon as they suggested it.” Hamish climbed up on the lounge beside David and dropped his big head in David’s lap. His hand went out to touch him and he caressed Hamish’s ears. “Mom didn’t say anything but I did. How could he not even try? I didn’t understand it, couldn’t see how he would give in so easily and leave us like that.”
April put her glass down and picked up a tissue. Funny how her eyes had started leaking when this poor man was letting her into the heart of his problem.
“Instead, he started taking supplements and herbs. He found some crazy woman online and went to her for magic potions. Started drinking things like wheatgrass shots and eating nothing but vegetarian meals.” The tension rose in his voice. “I tried, god, how I tried but he wouldn’t listen. He was so stubborn when he put his mind to it.”
Sounded familiar. It made April smile just a little through her pain.
“Obviously he died and still I couldn’t forgive him for not trying harder. Not trying everything that was out there to be with us longer. An extra day to tell him I loved him. An extra week to see more sunsets with us. I would have taken anything he could give but he wasn’t prepared to fight a battle he knew he couldn’t win.” He stared at her now, his heart in his eyes. “I blamed the herbs he was administering for taking him away from us when I know deep down they probably made his life more tolerable in the end. And in doing so, I blamed you and everyone who was a little bit alternate when I shouldn’t have.”
“I knew that. We all knew that.”
He frowned and she took that as an excuse for her to have her say and moved a little closer.
“Susan came to my rescue. You know that day after the cookout when I was late coming back to the shop and you were waiting for me?” He nodded and she continued. “We were having coffee together then and a really good girl heart-to-heart. She told me to give you space, to let you deal with it and I knew then that I shouldn’t have taken what you said to me personally. It wasn’t aimed at me. I know that.”
“How can you be so forgiving?”
She shuffled over to sit beside him. “I know how different we are. How different I am from all my family. I know my weaknesses but I also know my strengths. And my strength has always been compassion and it’s the reason why I’m not kicking your ass out the door and mooning on the couch with ice cream and bad movies so early in the morning.”
“You’re something special, you know that right?” He grinned at her.
“That little comment may have saved that ass of yours.” She smiled back and slid her hand into his. “You need to forgive your father because it was his decision, not yours. Sometimes when we’re told things are hopeless the best we can do is give in gracefully and go. It was his choice to accept his frailty.”
“I know and I accept that. But no matter how prepared you think you are, the day your parent is no longer there is hard to take.”
“True. I’m not looking forward to it.” She slipped her arm around his waist. “I suppose this is where I say I forgive you and we move on?”
“That would be nice but I don’t expect it to be that easy. So, I come prepared to grovel a little bit more.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. “I wonder if you’d like to join me for dinner tonight? My house, that’s if you’re not too scared to try my cooking.”
“I’d love to. And caring about your father doesn’t make you an idiot, David.” She pushed him toward the door. “Leave Oscar with me and go see Susan. I know you’re dying to catch up with her and make sure she’s okay.”
“Thanks. You’re right. I really need to see her for myself.” He moved away but stopped. David turned and held her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry you were subjected to the unhappy Elise. I told you it was over between us ages ago, and I was telling the truth. She was only using me as a means to an end, or at least trying to. I didn’t have any idea what she was up to until I made a phone call and found out she’d disgraced
