“I know. But, honestly, was I the only one to blame, Ethan?”
Anyone would think with the look of astonishment on her face, it was her credibility being called into question. She couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I thought I meant something to you.” The old pain hit him in the gut.
“For God’s sake, Ethan. You dumped me, remember?”
Sure he had but it was in the past. “We were kids, Mari. You were asking me for more than I could give. What did you expect from me?”
She rolled her eyes and he seethed. It hadn’t taken her long to get over him and take up with his brother. That was the part that hurt the most.
“Don’t forget you weren’t there for me, Ethan.”
The bitterness swirled around his mind, sour memories coating the back of his tongue. But Rake had been there for her, was what she really meant. He could understand his brother leaving home to pursue his dream of being a boxer against their parents’ wishes but to take her with him – that was the kicker. Neither of them had bothered to keep in touch. So many lost opportunities. Ethan didn’t want to let himself believe it was something he’d done but he knew better. They were tight, or so he thought. But Mari was a different matter. They’d fallen out and he’d made mistakes. Stupid immature mistakes that cost him his girlfriend. Would she ever forgive him for the way he treated her? He suddenly found himself really wanting to find out.
“To be honest, I’m not sure you did anything wrong looking back on it. My father might not agree but I know you better than he does and I had my doubts that you would have stolen anything like he claimed. Especially not from him.” He stepped closer to her and reached out a hand to wipe away the frown on her face. “I’m sorry I didn’t support you at the time. I was confused and angry. Immature. I think I wanted to hurt you and I did by not being there for you.”
“Little bit late sticking up for me now isn’t it?”
He’d had years to think about it. Years to observe and understand his father and the way he saw the worst in everything. And years to understand how ignorant Ethan had been by following along blindly when deep down in his heart he wasn’t the kind of man his father was. And he wanted to be different. Proving that to others had been a hurdle as he’d found out with Rake. “We did a lot of things we probably regret now. We were both young and stupid, trying to act all grown-up when we should have been concentrating on college. We can’t get those years back.”
“No we can’t. But it would be nice to clear the air between us.”
Mentally he agreed but wasn’t prepared to offer her an olive branch quite yet. Sure, he’d let her down but he’d felt cornered, trapped by her demands and youthful exuberance regarding their future. He wasn’t ready then and Mari wasn’t prepared to give him any leeway. She had to wear some of the blame. Seeing her brought it all up to the surface. “I was hurt when you ran away but not entirely surprised. I could’ve handled it better and been kinder and talked about why I wanted us to take a break instead of just dumping you like that, but at the time I did what I thought was right. I’d handle things differently now.” He rubbed his hand down her arm, trying to soothe her. “Besides, your mom had you almost at the breaking point before that happened. I would’ve been more surprised if you hadn’t cracked in some form or other. But still, you didn’t need me not defending you when you got blamed for the break-in.” He didn’t know how she’d done it, turning the other cheek every time her drug-addicted mother showed up causing Mari more heartache and embarrassment.
She shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes again. “Thank you, Ethan. That means a lot to me.”
“Mari, you don’t have to thank me. We were friends before lovers remember?” Hopefully they could at least be friends again.
Maybe even good friends so he could resolve the hurt that still lingered after so many years. He didn’t want to hold grudges like his father. Strike out like his father. He could be her friend. Forgive that she’d jumped from him to his brother.
Ethan still wanted answers, but he was willing to bide his time to get them.
“I really should be looking at the job but if you have the time, I’d love to catch up over a cup of coffee. What do you say?”
“Oh, um, do you mind if we do that another day?” She looked at her watch but not before he saw the panic flicker in her eyes. “I have to be somewhere, Ethan. I’m sorry.”
“Of course. I don’t mean to hold you up. We can catch up later. I’m going to be here on site for weeks to come. That’s if your husband wouldn’t mind me spending time over a coffee with you. He’s not likely to come storming through the door, is he, and take my head off?”
Mari shook her head. “Even though Rake died over two years ago, I haven’t remarried if that’s what you’re asking. The reason I came back home’s quite simple. I wanted to belong again and Cherry Lake is the only place I ever felt that. And…and I wanted to clear up the past.”
He thought he heard her mutter something like “make amends.” If so, she wouldn’t be the only one making them.
Figured he’d put his foot in his mouth. “I’m
