“Ethan. What do you think we’ve been doing lately? I’ve involved you in his life. We’ve done things together, talked about Noah’s future. I’m hoping we can move slowly so he doesn’t freak out. A lot’s changed for him in the last few years.”
“I get that but here’s the thing. Regardless of the reasons, you kept him to yourself for ten years. I want to know if you’re going to give me a chance to be a real father or, despite what you’ve been saying, are you planning on being his only parent?” He should back off now before things got out of hand but he couldn’t stop himself. All the questions he wanted to ask her and the horrible thought of her cutting him out was enough to open the flood gates.
“How can you question me after the way we’ve been getting on lately?”
“Look, don’t go getting upset. I’m sorry if I didn’t say it right but here’s the thing. Noah is my son. I desperately want to have some say in his life, some control. I need to know that you won’t try and block me if I want to take him away or spend time without you around. Some man-to-man time.”
“Why would you think that?” She tilted her head and stared at him. “Ethan, have you been talking to your father about me?”
“Why on earth would you think that?” He avoided eye contact with her.
“Because you’re sounding exactly like you did when you broke up with me, that’s why. The same attitude, the same tone.”
“No, you’re overreacting.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. You’d tell me if you were thinking of suing for custody, wouldn’t you?”
How could she’ve known that exact idea had been lurking in his mind? No, he didn’t want to take Noah away from Mari but when the idea had first poked up its ugly head, he’d told himself it was because he was feeling left out of his son’s life and was only thinking ahead in case things didn’t go well between them. He never should’ve started this conversation without thinking it through better. That was what happened when his father put ideas into his head.
Obviously his silence spoke volumes because all the color drained from her face. “How could you? I came back here so you would get to know him, Ethan. Not for you to try and take him away from me.”
“I never said I was going to do that.” It was too late now to try and back down. How to save the situation was going to be the thing.
“But the thought had crossed your mind, hadn’t it?”
It was hard to deny it. “Yeah, it had.”
“Leave now before I lose control and start screaming.”
“Mari, if we could…if you would just listen to reason.”
“I said get out.”
He’d never seen such pain and betrayal in her eyes before. Not even when her mother had done her best to cause mayhem between them. Not when he broke her heart and told her he didn’t want anything to do with her again. That had caused her to run. How could he not have thought this through better instead of just blurting it out? He’d just taken stupid to a whole new level.
He reached for her. Nothing today had gone the way he thought it would. But Ethan had to know the truth. “Would you have kept him from me if things had worked out different when you told me the truth?”
Her chest heaved and the tears trickled down her now pale cheeks. “How could you ever think I’d do that to you? What kind of woman do you take me for?”
“Please, after everything you’ve done and all the secrets you’re keeping? What’s one more in your book? Look, I don’t blame you for some of it but he’s my son. I have to know how much of a future Noah and I would have together, especially if you and I don’t see eye to eye.”
“Get out now before I have you thrown out.”
Ethan wasn’t ready to give up. “Please tell me.”
She dashed away the tears, took a threatening step forward. “Why? Are you going to try and take him from me if I don’t let you have what you want, take me to court? Jeff put you up to this, didn’t he? To get back at me. You’re more like him than you know, Ethan. And I thought I understood you. I was so wrong.”
Surely she didn’t believe that? Was it too late to calm the conversation or had he ruined everything between them? “No. That’s not what I’m trying to do. You know how much you mean to me, both you and Noah, but it’s niggling at me. And after what you told me last night, I started thinking about what we had together and I wondered if we really did have a future together? If we don’t, where does that leave me and Noah? Is that really too much to ask for?” He walked closer but this time she took a step away from him. He had his answer.
“I’ve never lied to you, not once. That was a promise we made each other years ago and I’ve kept that promise. Friendships are built on trust, Ethan. Relationships are too. It’s pretty obvious that you made the right decision years ago and no matter how much we try to kid ourselves we could go back to the past and pick up where we left off it won’t happen. So, I’ll tell you again. Leave, now.” The shutters came down on her eyes.
He’d blown it. Well and truly lost any chance he might have had of making a go of it with the only woman who’d ever given him sleepless nights. The truth was, he believed Mari would never keep Noah and him apart but people changed when their backs were
