She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s hard to know what our subconscious does to us.”
“I…”
“Don’t let it worry you. I won’t say anything but if you want to talk, I’m here.”
He blinked, wiped his hand over his face, the haunted look in his eyes worried her. “I’m terrified. Absolutely freaking terrified they’ll find I’m a walking time bomb. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that if I am. And here I thought I was coping with it okay.”
She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, Adam. I wish I could say the right words, take away your pain but I can’t.” She kissed his cheek and held him close.
The tremble of his shoulders eased as she held him.
“I’m a coward.” A sigh shuddered up his throat. “I’ve known about this for weeks but I’ve been too scared to go and have the tests.” He gave a quick shrug of his shoulders. “Sometimes it feels better not knowing.”
“That’s not the way to live. You need to know so you can put strategies in place.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to make those kinds of decisions yet.”
“Well, when it gets too much for you, I’m here if you want to talk. Don’t feel you’re alone, Adam. We’re friends, remember?”
“Yeah, friends.” He said it in such a bitter way she almost laughed but what he was going through wasn’t a laughing matter. She’d felt the same anguish when she woke from her accident knowing it wasn’t her decision to keep her fingers. It was all down to the surgeon’s skill and luck. Adam would be feeling the same pain, the same indecision, the same insecure future.
Was he worried that, like her, he’d be off-limits to that special person? Roger’s betrayal had all come down to money and prestige. What did Adam fear the most?
“Tell me what you’d planned on doing when you retired?”
“I thought I told you.”
“Not sure I remember that conversation but tell me again. Refresh my memory.” Talking had helped her work through her problems. It might help him too and she was happy sitting here with her arm around him.
“I have two offers from networks sitting with my management team. Means I’ll be on air during the season discussing games instead of playing in them.”
“Does that make you feel as though you’d be missing out on anything?”
He dropped his head and stared at his feet. “Yes. No. Not too sure to be honest. Going into the sport we all know that it’s not going to last forever. That’s a given. But having to leave earlier than expected is going to take some getting used to. That’s if they find out I have what Dad has.”
“So you hadn’t given it any thought to retiring yet even though you’ve had a couple of knee injuries?”
“Yeah, but I have to weigh up my options carefully.” Tiny nudged at his hand and this time he stroked her head. She leaned in against him, happy now she had his attention.
“I understand. It’s a little bit like me starting the Christmas decorations before my accident. They were something I wanted to explore, a sideline to the jewelry. It wasn’t ideal to take the place of what I was already doing but it gave me something to continue with. Meant I was in the same line of business and that accounts for something.”
Adam turned his head and looked at her. Some of the sadness seemed to fade from his eyes and a tiny spark of interest replaced it. He leaned in and kissed her lips. His warm breath rolled over her face as he spoke. “You, Ms. Dakota Moore, have a very interesting way of looking at life. I wish I had half as much positive energy running through my mind as you do.”
“You’re just scared and I understand that. Remember though, I’m here for you. No matter what the outcome, I’ll never push you away.”
She snuggled her chin on his shoulder, willing her love to find a way to put the smile back on his face.
Chapter Fifteen
The smell of hotdog grease mingled with the sweet sugary fairy floss making her realize how hungry she was. The roar of excited supporters as they watched the soccer clinic made her smile as she stood in line to get into the sports grounds. Dakota pulled her scarf tight around her neck and told herself a couple of hours off would be good for her body and her mental well-being. She’d had a late night yesterday and got up early to finish the icicles she’d promised Adam for his friend and teammate, Ryan. They had to be done by today, that was the deal and she wasn’t about to let him down.
“Hi Dakota.” Percy Ferris stood at the gate taking the money as people filed in. “Glad to see you’ve managed to get away from work for a couple of hours. Go grab yourself a hotdog and find a seat. I’m sure you’ll enjoy watching the boys.” He took her money and handed back change and her ticket. “They’ve asked for a few of the dads to join them later for a make-up game. Adam thinks the boys are up for it and I for one cannot wait to see how they perform.”
“Glad I came out then.” She took her change, and tucked her ticket in her jacket pocket. “Is Arabella here?”
He looked at her, rolled his eyes. “As if any female in this town that is capable of walking isn’t here to watch those boys in their soccer uniforms. You should hear some of the lewd comments coming from seemingly proper ladies. It’ll make you blush.”
She laughed. “Maybe I might be the loudest one here.”
“Now I find that hard to believe.” He turned to the next person behind her. “Hey Rach, shut up shop to come
