She leaned into his comforting embrace for a moment. “Yeah. Damned oven is acting up again. I’m going to have to get someone to look at it.”
“I’ll call our favorite repairman today if you like.” He handed her his coffee.
“Thanks, Dad. I left a note for the girls so if I’m able to schedule a repairman today, they wont be surprised when he shows up. Aggie swallowed half the mug’s contents before giving it back. She sighed and let the caffeine do its job. “Appreciate it.”
“So, I hear April talked to you last night about being her bridesmaid.”
Aggie screwed up her face. That was one thing she was trying to push to the back of her mind. Funny how it kept creeping back with no effort. Kneading the dough, tearing it into roll-sized portions and smoothing them off, before putting them on the tray hadn’t helped. All she could think about was the wedding. How close would she have to sit to Liam and for how long? Who else was going to be there? Would she have to dance with him? What would she do if he asked her out again? How could she refuse without looking bad, as though she was spoiling the wedding when all she wanted to do was protect her heart?
“Yeah.”
The biggest problem for her was worrying if anyone would guess her secret. She couldn’t let that happen.
“That’s a problem for you. Why?” Her father nudged her over to the chairs facing the ocean, and Aggie sat. “Talk to me.”
“Because I’m not in the mood to wear a dress and act all girly. But I’ll do it because I promised I would and it will make April happy.” She rested her head back against the chair and shaded her eyes from the early morning sun and her father’s all-knowing gaze. She could feel the disappointment seeping from him.
“Sweetheart, you’ve been best friends ever since you were in kindergarten. It’d break April’s heart if you backed out. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?”
She smiled and shook her head. “You can’t fix everything, Dad. Sometimes things are out of your control.” She sniffed and rubbed her tired eyes. “Nope. I’ll do it. Just don’t expect me to be standing in line to catch the bouquet.” Aggie pushed herself up and wandered into the house, desperate for sleep and to get away from the questions.
She’d almost slipped into her bedroom when her aunt came floating down the hallway, her bright caftan flowing around her legs. “Morning, darling girl. Isn’t it exciting news? A wedding on the island—just what this family needs. We’re all so delighted. I’ll talk to you later when you’ve had some sleep and lost that scowl off your face.”
Aggie shut the door and leaned against it. This was going to be hard. Everyone was so full of wedding joy and all she wanted to do was shut herself away until it was all over. It made sense that they were all excited, but that didn’t mean she was going to feel the same way. Anxiety filled her throat. It wasn’t fair to April and Drew. How on earth was she going to be the good friend and sister and get through the day?
A twinge of guilt crept up her back as she stripped off her bakery whites and threw them in the dirty clothes hamper by the bathroom door. Drew and April deserved to be happy after all they’d gone through, having been childhood sweethearts who had broken up only to find each other again. She couldn’t be happier for them, truth be told. But if she could wake tomorrow and the wedding and all the hectic preparations that went with it were over, she’d be the first to cheer.
She closed her curtains, plumped up her pillows and slid between the sheets, desperate for sleep. She lay there, trying to shut off her mind. April meant well but that didn’t make things any easier for Aggie. Before she knew what was happening, it’d be dress shopping, choosing colors and flowers, then wedding rehearsals and intimate get-togethers. She’d be spending more time with Liam than was good for her because that was the way wedding preparations went. It would snowball out of control and Aggie would get more anxious.
Since she’d been home, she’d tried so hard to avoid all efforts to be part of normal society. That’d been why, when the bakery came up for sale, she’d pounced on it. It gave her the perfect excuse to sleep all day and work all night, avoiding everyone. Even going in earlier than most bakers did worked in her favor. She saved money on an assistant most nights and managed to keep to herself. That hadn’t worked for her last night though. It’d given her too much time to chew over the wedding and her part in it. Now she couldn’t shut down her mind.
Half an hour later, Aggie turned over and punched her pillows, closed her eyes and tried to rest her racing mind. After ten minutes of imagining puffy white clouds floating across the sky on a calm day, she sat up. Damn it all. Why was she surprised? After all, she had trouble getting to sleep most of the time. She sometimes resorted to a sleeping pill or a sneaky glass of wine, but that usually only gave her a couple of hours before she was fighting insomnia again.
It was way past time she talked to someone and got help, but she couldn’t face it. Reliving the incident over and over in her own mind was bad enough, but saying it out loud and seeing someone else’s pity would kill her; it would make it seem as though it was happening again. She didn’t want that. She didn’t feel like she could speak it out loud and not lose her mind.
She padded to the bathroom
