Matt would make the perfect dad one day. It broke Mia’s heart that it wouldn’t be with her.
Later when Ryan went to have a nap, she went in search of Matt. They needed to talk before their supposed relationship got out of control.
He was in the garden, weeding around the salad greens he’d planted last weekend. “Hi. Can I sit and talk while you work?”
Matt smiled up at her. “Of course. Feel free to get your hands dirty too if you like.”
“Maybe later.” She perched on the wooden bench with the pergola over it. The beans were growing well and almost ready for a second picking.
“Why the long face?”
“It shows, eh?”
He pulled a weed and shook off the dirt before dropping it into a bucket. “You have a sense of sadness around you. Like you’re happy but not happy.” He brushed his hands together. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll see if I can fix it for you.”
She blinked back tears and shook her head. She was going to miss him so much. “You can’t fix everything, Matt.”
He stood and moved over to her. “I can try.”
“Not this time.” She sniffed and wiped a hand across her face, doing her best to contain her pain. He didn’t need to see how much this affected her. It was her problem, not his. But it was so easy to dump it on his shoulders even if she knew there wasn’t any easy fix. “I saw the specialist.”
Matt sat beside her and took her hands. “Tell me what he said. I’m guessing it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”
“You could say that. I have it too—ARVC, or arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy, to be precise. The same disease that killed my father and put Ryan on his ass.” She sniffed again. “Sorry. That wasn’t a nice thing to say.”
“But it’s true. It did put him on his butt, but he’s getting better now.”
“But he’ll always have to look after himself. Make sure he eats right and exercises. There’s no getting away from it.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose.
“That’s fine. It’s manageable because we know what it is. Just like it’ll be with you. We’ll take care of it.”
“Matt, there’s no we.”
A flash of pain crossed his face. “What do you mean?”
Mia took a deep breath. “There’s no us. There can’t be. I won’t do that to you.”
He dropped his head. Mia waited for him to speak. Eventually, he did.
“But I don’t understand. Just because you have a manageable condition, why would that change anything? I’ll still love you the same. I do love you, Mia.”
There it was, that love word. What she’d been waiting to hear. But it was not on the cards for them.
“I know you want children. I saw it in the way you played with April’s kids and the comments you’ve made since I’ve known you. I want you to be happy, Matt. I love you enough to wish for that. But it can’t be with me.”
“Why not? You’ve just said you love me, Mia. When you love someone, you work things out. That’s how it’s done.”
“What if it can’t be worked out?” She touched his face and he looked at her. He deserved a baby of his own. “I won’t bring a child into this world with this condition. I refuse to give that kind of death sentence to anyone. I saw what it did to my mom. She faded away and died not long after my father from a broken heart. Who would do that knowingly pass that onto a child?”
“But we…”
She put her finger over his lips. “I’m sorry, Matt. I want you, but I won’t do it. As much as I don’t want to hurt you I hope you understand why I’m doing this. Can we please just be friends?”
He blinked as his eyes filled and his throat worked. Abi wanted to take the words back but she’d thought hard about this before saying anything. Her heart broke watching him, but she couldn’t let this get any more complicated than it already was. “If we can’t be friends, I’ll open a shop in Seattle and visit Ryan when I can. I don’t want to cause you more pain than necessary by being here.”
If he said no, she’d stay in Seattle. That thought hurt him more than seeing her every day and not being able to have her. What a decision to make, but what choice did he have?
Chapter 19
Dinner that night was uncomfortable for everyone. As soon as the dishes were done, Matt left Mia and Ryan alone to talk and went for a walk on his own. He was standing on the sand throwing random shells in the water when a small dog ran up and sniffed his feet.
“You little rascal. Matt, I didn’t realize it was you.” Bradley huffed as he came closer. “Little beast insisted on a late night walk. He’ll be the death of me one of these days.”
“You enjoy letting him boss you around. Admit it.” He threw another shell and watched it disappear in the froth of the incoming waves. The sun was setting and only a faint line of pink shone over the horizon.
“True. At least he gets me out of the house.” He paused next to Matt. “What’re you looking so down in the dumps for?”
Matt shrugged.
“Don’t be like that, young man. Talk it out. Always helps.” Bradley shoved his hands in his pockets and waited quietly.
“Mia has the same condition as her uncle.”
“Figures. That’s gotta be tough. But treatments are available, right? I’m guessing there’s more to
