She held onto Russ'sarm, her fingernails would no doubt leave marks on his skin. Afraid she wouldfall, she gripped harder.
Russ patted her hand,and soothed her with the same words he’d used when she’d nightmares as a child."It’ll be fine, baby girl, I'm here for you. I won't let you go."
He would sit on her bedwith his arms wrapped around her shoulders as she trembled with the horror onlya small child could conjure up in their heads. When the lights went out andtheir world was a labyrinth of dark tunnels where all the monsters imaginablelived, waiting for her to close her eyes.
By the time the sunrose in the morning, Russ would be cradling his little sister in his arms,extracting her from the tangle of her sheets. He spent the night while sheslept protecting her from the monsters that chased her in her dreams.
They stood looking overat the mound of freshly dug dirt covered in flowers where they had laid theirfather to rest this morning. Beside it was the simple headstone for theirmother. Rooney wondered who had placed the fresh flowers in the vase and wishedshe'd the courage to do it herself.
"Ready?" Helooked down into her eyes and gave a gentle smile. "Take your time,honey."
Her voice came outhoarse. "Thanks." She lifted her chin and took a step forward. Afterthe first step, it became easier and they walked to the headstone. Rooney easedup on her grip on her brother’s arm, breathing deeply to steady herself. Ican do this, I can do this.
The grave site was keptneat and tidy. Her mother's favourite rose bush rambled over the lower fencewhere the valley dropped down to the river. Had someone moved a bush fromthe garden or take cuttings and if so, who? It might have been Essie because Idoubt it would be Father.
The delicate pale pinkblooms were perfect against the weathered boards used to section the chapelfrom the stock. Soft green moss grew in the shaded crevices of wood, giving itthe aged look her mother liked for the gardens. She used to say it gave thefarm a more permanent feeling, as though it had been there forever. I missyou, Mum, so much it hurts me every day. I know you’d understand why I didn'tcome and say goodbye before now, but that doesn't take the pain away. If Ihadn't been so worried about what would happen to me when I came face to facewith Dad, I would have come sooner. But the time never seemed right. There wasalways too much to do, a sick toddler or work calling.
You would love Tamara,Mum. She is so much like you. Feisty, full of life, and so much compassion itbreaks my heart. I hope I'm doing the right thing bringing her home. Russ andCade don't know about her yet. What they are going to say when I tell them?
I wish you were here,Mother. I wish so many things but that…most of all.
A firm hand rested onher shoulder and Russ dropped to the ground beside her, pulling her close inhis strong safe grasp. As Rooney leaned into him, she relaxed.
"I'm sorry Iwasn't here for you when she passed, Russ. I know how close you were toher."
"I guess you hadyour reasons, Rooney. I wish you could tell me what kept you away though."She shivered at the thought that the time to avoid the subject had come. Lookslike now will be the perfect time then.
"Well, I was goingto talk to you about that. It's not that I didn't want to come home, Icouldn't."
He held her far enoughaway to look into her eyes. "Why not?"
She dipped her head andsucked in a breath before meeting Russ’s puzzled gaze. "I was inhospital." Rooney held up her hand when he tried to talk. "I was alittle too busy giving birth to my daughter to attend."
She watched theemotions flash through his eyes and waited for the accusations to fly. Therewere going to be some very ruffled feathers in the next few days.
"Why didn't youtell me? I could have helped you Rooney. You know I would have." Hegripped her hand. "I'm disappointed you didn't trust me enough for that. Ithought you would have come to me for help."
"I didn't tellCade either, if that is what you’re wondering." She smiled and held hishand. "Russ, you know you would’ve tried to convince me to come home andtell Mother and Father. Not that I would have blamed you, I was only eighteen.Cade would have laughed his head off for being so damned stupid and fallingpregnant."
"Does Stevieknow?"
"No."
"Are you going totell him?" A frown marred his face.
"Not if I don'thave to. I'm sure he’ll find out sooner or later." Rooney laughedbitterly. "He is her father even if he is a spineless little prick. Do youknow what happened that night or just Dad’s version of it?"
"Why don't youtell me your version? It's the only one that matters at the moment."
"Father caught usnaked in the barn. Instead of sticking up for me, Stevie ran. The bastard ranout of the barn naked as a buck rabbit, pulling his pants on as he did. He leftme there to take a hiding and make excuses to Father. You should have seen thewelts on my arse when he sent me to bed. I couldn't sit down for a week."
"So you ranaway."
"Yeah, isn't thatwhat bad girls do? I ran away and didn't look back."
"Rooney, you werenever a bad girl. A little fiery maybe but not bad. I know you called in to seeCade. Why didn't you stay with him?" Russ picked at a piece of grass,rolling it between his fingers as he looked at her.
"His place was likea damned whore's train station." She shivered at the memory.
"What did you dofor money? You should have come to me." Anger slipped into his voice.
Rooney had wanted himto rescue her—like he always had—but she’d been too scared.
"I had money savedup. I didn't have to live on the streets, if that's what you think. I ended upin Brisbane, got a job waitressing and lived in a cheap boarding house. Ididn't even know I
