“I’ve blown off about as much steam as I can stand,” Laura said, and Beebo laughed. “I’m through.”
“Don’t be so dogmatic, Mother mine. You’ll only have to swallow your words and you’ll look like an ass doing it.”
Laura wouldn’t believe him when he told her Marcie was straight. She wouldn’t because she didn’t want to. She had told him, she had even told Beebo now, that Marcie was falling for her. She didn’t dare believe it herself, but if somebody else did, maybe somehow that would help. Her desire, her pride, trapped her. “Thanks again, Jack,” she said. “One of these days I’m going to do the same for you. I swear.”
“One of these days you may have to. And Laura—”
“Yes?”
“Watch out for Burr. You’re on his black list.”
“What’d I do?”
“He thinks you’re turning his pretty little sex-pot into a neurotic. He’s jealous.”
Laura smiled, surprised.
“Well?” said Beebo, when she hung up. “Going home to your little wife?” She grinned.
“Beebo, sometimes you make me sick.”
“I know. I’m enough to make you go straight. Go sleep with Jack tonight, it’ll do him a world of good.”
“Oh, shut up!”
“At least it’ll give him a whopper to tell his analyst.”
Laura turned on her heel and left the room. She felt her clothes, hanging in the bathroom. They were still damp, but dry enough to iron. She brought them into the kitchen. “Where’s the ironing board?” she said.
“Pretty determined, aren’t you?”
“I certainly am.”
“I’ve got dinner ready. You can eat before you go.” There was a faint tone of pleading in her voice, as if she knew the time had come when sheer force was useless. Laura had made her mind up.
“I don’t want another thing from you, not even dinner.”
“No, not for another day or two,” Beebo said and her voice became rougher as she talked. “You just want to run down for kicks once or twice a week. I’m pretty damn convenient, aren’t I?” She pulled the board out from the wall and plugged the iron in, her movements sharp and angry. Laura felt a little afraid of her. Her blue eyes snapped and there was no trace of her usual humor in her face.
“You’re the bitch, Laura, not me. You’re using me,” she said. “Go on, iron the damn thing.” She waved a hand at Laura’s dress and Laura spread it out on the board.
“I’m sorry, Beebo,” Laura said, taken aback.
“Sure you are.”
“All right, Beebo,” she said softly. “I won’t bother you anymore. Ever.”
Beebo snorted at her. “You try it and I’ll beat you, I swear I will,” she said. “I’ve had enough from you, Laura. I’m not made of stone. Am I nothing to you? Am I supposed to believe I’m nothing to you? Do you think I like to stand and listen to you slobber over that simpering little roommate of yours? Can she give you what I can give you? Well damn it, can she?”
Laura couldn’t face her, much less answer her. She only worked the iron over her dress and glanced at Beebo’s shoes.
Beebo’s voice softened a little. “Jesus, what a mess,” she said, leaning on the refrigerator. “Here I am falling for you. I ought to have my head examined. I ought to know better.” She came over to Laura and took the iron out of her hands and Laura had to look at her. “Laura,” Beebo said, leaning toward her, “I’m nuts for you. I wasn’t kidding.” They gazed at each other, Laura surprised and scared and flattered all at once. “I need you, baby,” Beebo whispered. “Please stay.”
“I can’t, Beebo,” Laura said.
“You don’t really think you’re in love with that little blonde, do you?”
“Yes.”
Beebo shook her head and shut her eyes for a minute. “Jack says she’s straight. Jack is a shrewd boy. Don’t you believe him?”
“No.”
“You want to get the Miseries, baby? That’s the quickest way.”
“You don’t know her, Beebo. Even Jack doesn’t know her as I do. She’s changing. She seems interested in me. She’s sort of approachable. She doesn’t even want to see her ex-husband anymore. She wants to stay home at night with me. She breaks dates with him to do it.”
“All right.” Beebo turned away. “Suppose she’s gay. Suppose she is. What then?” She turned to look sharply at Laura.
Laura was stumped. She had never looked beyond the present into that possibility. What would it be like, just the two of them, both gay, living together, in love? “Well, then everything will be wonderful,” she said.
Beebo gave a short unpleasant laugh. “Yeah,” she said. “Wonderful. You walk hand in hand into the sunset.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Beebo. I never made a secret of my feelings for Marcie.”
“I never made a secret of mine for you, baby.”
“We’d never do anything but fight, Beebo.”
“Fight and make love. I could live forever on such a diet.” She smiled a little.
“It would drive me crazy. I couldn’t take it.”
“Do you think there won’t be fights with your little Marcie if she turns out gay?”
“I suppose there will.”
“You know damn well there will. And if she’s straight, what happens? She reads you the Riot Act. Calls the cops. Sics her husband on you.”
“She wouldn’t do any of those things, Beebo. She’s a sweet girl. She wouldn’t get wild like you.”
“Not according to Jack. You’ve known her four months. Jack’s known her for years.” Beebo lighted a cigarette and blew the smoke through her nose. “Want to know something, Bo-peep? Want to know what it’s like? I’ve had it happen to me—more than once. If you’re gay, it just happens now and then, that’s all. You get the bug for some lovely kid and you can’t keep it to yourself. You get closer and closer. And if she plays along it’s worse and worse.
