Beebo rubbed a hand over her eyes, angry and frightened. “Well, if it’s so bad, why the hell did Venus bring me out here? She must have known how it would be.”
“Venus isn’t very big for denying herself what she wants,” Leo said. “Besides, there’s a lot to be said in your favor. Venus is more stable. She means it when she says she loves you. I believe that, Beebo, and I hope you do. Her love is a unique gift, and I tell you honestly that I envy you it. It has transformed her.”
Beebo was flattered and surprised to hear this coming from Leo. She felt suddenly sorry for him. He seemed gray all over, from his damp shirt to his strained face.
“I struggled for years to win her love…my God, just to win her attention. I finally decided there was no love in her, not even for poor Toby. You proved me wrong, and in a way I’m grateful to you. Venus will never be an easy woman to live with, but she’s improved measurably with you, and I think some of it will last long after you’ve left us.”
“Left you?” Beebo opened her mouth to protest but was bulldozed by his rush of words.
“Her tantrums now are kid stuff compared to the blasts we used to get. Now, I get a sort of half-assed cooperation. Toby gets some affection. The servants get some peace. And that’s a lot when you’re starting from zero.”
Beebo was taken aback by it.
“I thank you for that, Beebo. I thank you for being discreet most of the time, when it’s boring and humiliating. But I have to look at the other side of the coin. Venus has survived some potentially filthy scandals because she has the smartest director and press agent in the world: me. But it took all I’ve got and more to keep them out of the papers. Sometimes the only way was to jump in front of her and take the crap meant for Venus on my own kisser, just to keep her clean. I’d do it again if I had to, but I don’t want to do it for you. If it gets out she’s sleeping with a girl, we’re dead. All of us.
“Venus makes a touching speech about walking out of here with you if anything goes wrong, but she won’t, Beebo. Don’t kid yourself. Don’t get hurt worse than you have to be when the end comes.”
Beebo was too mad at him and too proud to admit any such thing. “The end won’t come, Leo,” she flared. “She’s in love with me and that makes her a different woman from the one you’ve always known. You can’t make predictions about her.”
“I can predict anything about that woman, Beebo,” he said in a sad voice that mourned the passing of mystery in his love. “I wish there were something left in her for me to worship. You forget that there was a great love in her life before Beebo Brinker came along and that love will last to the end, long after Beebo falls by the wayside. That’s self-love. She loves herself more than she loves you.”
“You’re unjust, Leo. She’s told me—”
“Sure—that she only loves the money, the career. Why, Beebo? Because they glorify the woman. The woman she loves—herself.”
Beebo stared at him, silenced.
“You flatter her, you kid her, you make a good try at understanding her, despite your blind spots. And you’re also nuts about her, which she finds very ingratiating. Plus the fact of your femininity…something I will never understand. You know, she’s tried this Lesbian stuff before.”
“She said you objected pretty violently.”
“Hell, yes. It’s much more dangerous than a normal affair. I’m no blue-stocking. I’m for falling in love and making it work, as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. It has nothing to do with my emotional prejudices. Intellectually, I’m damned fair. The only two people Venus hurts are me and Toby. I give her hell about Toby; I try to protect him. But letting Venus hurt me is the abiding condition of my life. The rock on which our marriage is built.”
Beebo listened, rooted with fascination, shock, pity, distaste. He was making an accomplice of her by revealing the secrets of his life with Venus; putting her in a spot where she would be virtually obligated to help him, if only to save all their skins.
“But when I see disaster coming,” Leo went on, “that will crush our son, destroy her career, ruin all our lives—I have to act. Beebo, you’re eighteen. You’re among the adults. I lay this on the line to you. I’d ask you to leave of your own free will, if I thought you had any left. But you’re too infatuated for that. All I’ll say now is, stay out of sight, watch the servants, and do as I say.”
“Look, Leo, I know you’re bending over backwards for me,” Beebo said. “I appreciate it. Since I’ve been here you’ve been just a face to me, but a kind enough face. Now I see you’re not just an operator—you’re an intelligent and honest man. And it’s too bad Venus won’t admit it. I think she could have loved you if she had.
“But if you’re working up to telling me that no matter how good a kid I am, I’m going to have to pack up one of these days and blow, I’m sorry. I can’t go.” Unless, she thought, I go for Paula. I’ll never go because I’m pushed.
“No,” he said. “I’ll tell you precisely what the situation is. I should have talked to you about this before. You should know where I stand. It must never—under any circumstances—get out that you’re queer, much less involved with Venus.” He spoke
