He looked at me, sizing me up. “Pessimism will turn you into a bitter old prune long before your time. You should try smiling when you talk. It’s hard to be upset when you smile.”
“Thank you, Mr. Camo-Claus,” I said through a toothy grin.
He winced. “Well, you’re a might bit purtier when your eyes aren’t bugging out so much, anyway.” He focused back on my mom. “Outside of that creepy clown look she’s sporting, I can see where she gets her good looks.”
“Oh, you.” Mom waved him away. She grabbed a carton of eggnog and tucked it inside the front of my coat. “All I’m saying is that when it comes to your sister and Rex, I understand how people will move heaven and earth for love. You should comprehend that concept now that you have Doc.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I’d gone so far as to put my lifelong friendship with Natalie on the line for Doc, but Natalie wasn’t sleeping with him when I’d had sex with Doc the first time. She’d only staked a claim on him.
A claim that I blatantly ignored, though.
I shook off the guilt gorilla that had made itself at home on my chest for a moment there. “So, she fell in love with the creep. Dammit, I was pregnant with Rex’s kids at the time. Couldn’t she have told me how she felt instead of screwing him first? And why my bed? What was wrong with the back seat of his car or some skanky hotel room?”
Camo-Claus ripped open his bag of chips. “Hell, any flat surface will do in a pinch,” he said and stuffed a handful of corn chips in his mouth.
Mom pointed her thumb at him, her mouth pinched. “Way to go, Violet. Now you’re going to have the neighbors talking about us.”
“You don’t even know who he is! Criminy, you’d probably take his side over mine if we got into a brawl.”
Camo-Claus held up his bag of chips, grinning through beard crumbs. “I’m more of a make-love-not-war type of guy.”
Mom grabbed me by the shoulder of my coat and dragged me over to the milk cooler. “Violet Lynn, I’d hoped you’d have this figured out now that your kids are a little older, but I can see that you’re too stubborn to understand the truth about your sister.”
“That she’s a man-stealing, toy-burning brat?”
“Besides that.”
“Ha! So you admit that she’s a weasel.”
“I admit that my youngest child has some problems she’s dealing with, yes.”
“The problem being she’s psycho.”
“Name calling doesn’t fix anything.” She grabbed two gallons of milk from the cooler, kicking the door shut with her foot. “Now you listen, child, and you listen good, because I’m not going to say this again.”
“I’m all ears and eggs.”
“I can’t give up on your sister. She’s my child, just as you are. We all do things in life that throw kinks into our plans. Like you, I got pregnant with Susan by accident. Also like you, I have done what I could to make the most of my life since then, raising my children to the best of my abilities. I’m not a perfect mother and I know it, trust me. I also understand that you want me to stand here and agree with you that Susan is broken. However, I have to keep trying with her, because I love Susan just as I love you and Quint.”
“But what about—”
“I’m not finished.” She led the way to the counter. “If I start openly choosing sides, I’ll lose Susan completely. I’m not blind when it comes to her crimes against you. My job is to try to help her become a better person through love and support.” We got in line behind Mr. Camo-Claus, who was paying for his Feliz Navidad supplies. “That doesn’t mean I love you any more or less.”
I sighed, shifting so the corner of the eggnog carton wasn’t jabbing into my boob. “Sometimes it just feels like you pick on me more than her.”
“Do you understand how strong you are?”
“Are you referring to my muscles or my body odor?”
“Neither, wiseacre. Since you first started walking, you showed signs of a fierce independence. I believe that inner force is why you have struggled so much with finding a suitable partner.”
“Let’s not rehash my rotten history with men today.” We’d be standing here for hours if she started down that road.
“You’re a strong woman, Violet Lynn. Not just any man will do. Rex was certainly not the caliber of man you needed. Your father and I could see that from the get-go, but you had to find that out for yourself. In some ways, it was a relief when Susan drove you two apart.”
I started to object, but she held up her gallon of milk to stop me.
“If she hadn’t, I feared you might’ve stayed with the jerk through thick and thin because you were pregnant with his kids. Thanks to your sister’s seduction, you have two lovely children and yet are free of a loser who would’ve only dragged you down.”
I sniffed. “He is a major piece of shit.”
“Sounds like you’re lucky to be rid of him,” Camo-Claus added over his shoulder as he collected his change.
“And you have Doc now,” Mom added. “Don’t you think it’s time to move on and let go of your past woes?”
“I’d love to, but Rex has other ideas lately. Do you know anyone I can hire to perform a contract kill?”
Camo-Claus pulled a business card from his vest pocket and handed it to me. “Merry Christmas, ladies,” he said and tipped an imaginary cowboy hat before heading out into the snow.
I looked at his card and chuckled.
Mom leaned closer, trying to read the card. “He’s not really a killer, is he?”
Takes one to know one, I thought, and stuffed his card in my coat pocket. “He’s a taxidermist.”
For a moment, I entertained the notion of having
