Never had she experienced such delicious feelings. “Evan . . . do not stop . . . I want . . . I need . . .” She panted, unable to comprehend what she wanted. All she knew was the overpowering feeling of desire. Pulling his head back to her breasts, she reveled in the warm wetness of his mouth. She could feel her nipples pebbling beneath his touch. “I have never felt this hot tingling in my . . . my insides,” she gasped, unable to think of another word yet needing to tell him, hoping he would understand.
“I want to please you before we couple,” he breathed in her ear as his fingers teased her folds. “My need is almost unbearable,” he whispered and adjusted himself over her, probing her moist core.
Charlotte gasped as her center convulsed from his ministrations. Tender lips covered hers and their tongues touched, danced, and swirled against the insides of their mouths between heated breaths. She squeezed her eyes closed, hoping to hold onto the sensation of floating above her body.
“I think you are ready . . .” he said between pants, reaching down and opening his placket, then kicking off his breeches and smalls. He adjusted himself over her. “My darling, I will take my time. You will feel a slight pain, although I promise it will get better,” he exhaled, his words coming between heated breaths.
“Yes . . .” she said on a sigh, unsure of what pain he spoke. She had only experienced pleasure with his attentions.
Evan moved to her entry, and she felt a piercing pain that lasted for a moment. Her husband stopped. She struggled to get her breath before he began once more, moving slowly, inciting her own body to respond to each of his movements. At the pinnacle, when she felt her body would explode, he withdrew, pulling back away from her. Too inexperienced to say anything, she lay there, feeling cheated yet not understanding why. She was afraid to speak. Long moments passed before finally, she summoned her courage and rose, her arms steadying her as she pushed herself up to a sitting position. “What just happened?” she asked. “Why did you pull away? Did I do something wrong?” She swiped at a rogue tear that appeared at the corner of her face.
He lay next to her, his eyes on the ceiling, staring. His breaths slowed until finally, he spoke. “No, Charlotte. It was my fear that forced me back from you. I want you, and I know she would want me happy,” he spoke the words in a low, pained voice.
“She? Your first wife?” Charlotte spoke cautiously, suddenly terrified and unsure of why.
“It is not fair to you, however I cannot risk losing you the way I lost her,” he choked.
“Look at me,” she pleaded softly. She waited. Long minutes passed before he rolled to her. “Evan, I do not know what our future will be, yet I cannot allow fear ruling our present. If we do, surely much of the best part of lives will pass us by, unlived and unknown.”
He stared at her eyes as his own watered. “I never wanted to marry again,” he said, pausing.
Her breathing went still. What was he saying?
“Then you happened, and I gave into my need for a wife, a mother for my child, a companion . . .”
She leaned up on her elbow and placed a finger over his lips, gently stopping him. Suddenly, she understood. “Evan, I will be all of those, and childbirth is dangerous. While I cannot promise you not to leave you in death, I can promise that I will fight for our life together.” She tried to keep her tears at bay and her voice steady.
He rose over her, staring into her green eyes. “Charlotte,” he choked and lowered himself to kiss her, adjusting himself into her once more. “Give me time. While we have not known each other long, I feel that I know your heart. And I need to share mine. I pledge to do my best by you.” He leaned in and kissed her tenderly. “Tonight has so much more promise.”
Chapter Eleven
Evan awoke hours later. There was a noise downstairs. Come to think of it, I have not heard from Banbury. After making love with his wife twice, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, no longer able to ignore that need. Reaching over, he opened a small drawer to his nightstand. The French letters he purchased were still there. He had forgotten to use them, although he had withdrawn each time before spilling his seed. Evan glanced over at his still sleeping wife and a small pain of guilt stung his heart as he remembered her words. She would fight for their life together. He found Charlotte to be a good listener and talking last night, even in the heat of making love, had made a difference. He would try harder. Perhaps discussing it was the key to moving past it.
Quietly, he slid to the side of the bed and put on his breeches. Then, slipping into his green velvet robe, he secured it with a sash. Male voices sounded from below; however, he could not make out what was being said. When he reached the top of the stairs, he saw Bernard addressing a messenger who stood ready to leave. The man wore regimentals and appeared
