“It’s fine, Ruby. You don’t need to ask my permission to spend money.”
“Right. Guess it’s a habit. Anyway, it’ll definitely be worth it. I booked in a whole day of pampering and indulgence. I invited someone along too. My cousin, Brooke. I found out she lives here now, so I reached out to her.”
“Good for you,” Yvonne said.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her the truth about our arrangement. I’ll keep up the charade with her too.” Ruby looked at Yvonne’s face, frowning. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m still waking up, that’s all,” Yvonne lied. “Some coffee will help.”
“All right. I need to get going, but I’ll be back this afternoon.”
“I’ll be out most of the day too. Maid of honor business with Madison.”
“Sounds like fun. I’ll see you later.” Ruby smiled at Yvonne before leaving the room.
As soon as Ruby was gone, that sense of dread came over Yvonne again. What was wrong with her? Was she sick? She felt like she’d been sucked into a black hole. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, but she’d promised Madison she’d help her with some last-minute wedding planning.
A cup of coffee, a shower, and a short cab ride later, Yvonne knocked on the door to Madison’s apartment. After a few seconds, a bubbly redheaded woman answered the door. Blair, Madison’s fiancée.
“Yvonne, hi.” Blair smiled. “Come on in.”
Yvonne greeted her and followed her inside.
“I’m about to head out, but Madison is around here somewhere.” Blair led Yvonne into the lounge room. “Have a seat. By the way, it was fun meeting Ruby at Lilith’s the other night. Are you bringing her to the wedding?”
Yvonne sat down. “I don’t know yet.”
“She’s welcome to come. We can make room for her. You know, the two of you should come over for dinner sometime.”
Yvonne made a noise of assent as Blair continued. Yvonne wasn’t in the mood to chat. Although she liked Blair, the woman’s bubbly enthusiasm was too much for Yvonne right now. She simply couldn’t shake the dark mood she was in.
A minute later, Madison entered the room, a cup of coffee in her hand. “Yvonne, you’re here.”
“I’ll leave you two to it,” Blair said. “Have fun.” She planted a kiss on Madison’s cheek before bouncing toward the door.
Madison took a seat next to Yvonne. “Thank you for agreeing to help out. There’s still so much to do. Who knew weddings were so much work?”
“It’s no problem,” Yvonne murmured.
Madison set her coffee down, frowning. “Is something the matter?”
Yvonne shook her head. “Everything’s fine.”
“Yvonne, you know you can’t lie to me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, okay?” Yvonne closed her eyes for a moment, drawing in a breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just woke up feeling… off.”
“Off how?”
“It’s hard to explain. It’s like I spent the whole night drinking and now I have a dreadful hangover. Except, I didn’t drink a thing last night.”
“What did you do last night?”
Yvonne paused. “Remember when I told you Ruby and I weren’t having sex?”
Madison raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“Well, let’s just say we’re doing far more than that. And it was Ruby who initiated it, not me.”
“Ah. I suspected as much. So when you brought Ruby to Lilith’s Den, that wasn’t just for show?”
“No, it wasn’t.”
Madison leaned back and crossed her arms. “I think I know what’s happening here. Let me guess. Last night the two of you did a scene?”
Yvonne nodded.
“And this morning you woke up feeling like crap?”
“Yes. Where are you going with this, Madison?”
Madison tilted her head, scrutinizing Yvonne. “This really hasn’t happened to you before?”
“No. And what’s ‘this?’”
“You’re familiar with the concept of subdrop?”
“Of course.” Yvonne had explained it to Ruby that night after Lilith’s Den.
“This is the same thing. It’s like a kind of hangover that sometimes comes after a scene.” Madison crossed her legs. “Let me guess. On top of feeling exhausted, you feel depressed. Guilty. Concerned about hurting Ruby?”
Yvonne nodded. She hadn’t been able to put her feelings into words, but what Madison was describing was exactly how she felt.
“It’s common, and completely normal. As a Domme, you engage in activities that most people consider twisted and perverse, things that are potentially harmful and dangerous. Your subconscious can have a hard time processing all that. Combine that with the physical and mental strain of constantly maintaining control? If you’re not careful, it can lead to a crash. It happens to the best of us.”
That couldn’t possibly be what Yvonne was experiencing. After all, what she and Ruby had done the night before wasn’t anything extreme, especially not by Yvonne’s standards. She was still taking it slow with Ruby, working out where Ruby’s limits were. But there was no other explanation for what Yvonne was feeling.
“So you’ve experienced this?” she asked.
“In the past,” Madison replied. “Now I know the signs so I can stave it off before it sets in. It’s easy enough. You deal with it the same way you deal with your submissive dropping. Aftercare. But instead of you only focusing on your sub’s needs, she focuses on yours as well. Dommes need love too, you know. We make ourselves as vulnerable to our submissives as they do to us, just in a different way. We give them a side of ourselves that few people get to see.”
That was a perspective Yvonne had never considered. “What do you do when this happens?”
“I let Blair take care of me.” Madison lowered her voice, as if to prevent Blair overhearing her somehow. “Of course, she doesn’t know that’s what she’s doing. She’s simply serving her Mistress. I’ll have her give me a massage, draw me a bath, bring me something to drink. It’s a good excuse to have your submissive wait on you hand and foot.” Madison took a sip of her coffee. “There’s nothing as satisfying as getting a massage from a grateful submissive after spending the entire evening spanking her.”
Yvonne held up her
