Her first attempt at Evanescence of herself, and it coincided with having to Evanesce another person. It was a poor combination—like jumping into the deep end of the pool before learning to swim. Crossing the Veil felt effortless in comparison. Evanescence was different. It required careful thought and planning. Building bodies back from nothing but mist and air. She concentrated, putting herself together first. Then Alex, remembering every moment they’d spent together, every word and touch they’d shared.
Even as Allyra poured everything she knew of Alex into the Evanescence, he seemed to slip through her fingers like cloudy wisps of mist. She shouted out desperately for him, calling his name, but he was lost in the infinite vastness of the Elements, and there was no reply.
Ignoring the sudden fear curling like icy fingers around her heart, Allyra pressed on. She fought for every detail she knew of him.
His eyes—swirls of blue, from the bright turquoise waters of the Mediterranean to the dark stormy skies before a summer storm. From delicate cornflower blue to the endless depths of a midnight hour. There was a whole world contained within his eyes, lit up by the golden flecks risking to the surface like bursts of starlight.
She remembered the feel of his skin beneath her fingers. The fierce heat that burned though him, enough to warm her even as an icy abyss threatened to reach up and consume her.
She knew the way his lips had tasted—Moonlight and forgotten dreams. The first kiss—angry and forceful—that sparked an ember of fire deep within the darkness of her panic. The second, gentle and as sweet as honey on a sundrenched morning. And finally, the last kiss, filled with goodbyes and regret.
She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. She wasn’t ready to let him go.
Alex, she whispered, please come back to me.
And he did.
She spared a cursory glance for their surroundings to reassure herself that they were safe, at least for the moment. She let out a shaky breath of relief—she’d done it, she’d successfully Evanesced them both away. Even as relief swelled within her chest, she began to sense the absence of life. Her attention snapped to Alex. He was lying on the ground, his normally pale skin taking on a gray pallor and his hands icy cold beneath her own. Her fingers trembled uncontrollably as they curled around his wrist searching for a pulse. There was no comforting heartbeat, and a half-stifled gasp escaped her as panic threatened to overwhelm her.
No.
Not now.
Not yet.
She didn’t have the luxury of time. Without thought or consideration, she forced the tigers into a small dagger and dragged it across her palm and then across his. Her actions were neither graceful nor gentle, and the cuts left an angry trail of blood behind, dripping from their hands onto the dried grass beneath.
Allyra pressed their palms together. Blood to blood, creating a direct path down which her energy could flow. Then she poured everything she had left into him. To begin with, it was not more than a dribble, so she pushed harder and more relentlessly, impatience eating at her. Soon, the dribble became a stream and then cascaded into a river of silver lifeblood flowing from her to Alex.
Something invisible pulled taut between them, and the energy flowed from her, like a raging flood. The walls she’d built to protect her mind crumbled before the onslaught, and soon, it wasn’t just energy they were sharing. A rush of emotions carried over the connection.
If she felt guilt for the day’s events, it was nothing compared to the dark bitterness Alex harbored deep within himself, and she could feel all of it.
Sorrow.
Remorse.
Guilt.
Dark and venomous sensations eating into her. Old and powerful emotions that had taken root and grown over the years since the Betrayal. Desperate guilt for the thirty-one Elemental lives lost that day, for his parents, his brother, and, more recently, Mandla. The pain and darkness were overwhelming. She could almost taste it, bitter and acrid on her tongue. It was a tidal wave, and she was drowning in it.
Allyra tried to let go, to break the connection. But her protections were down and impossible to rebuild under the flood of emotion. She was drowning. She was dying.
Then abruptly the connection broke.
She was empty and hollow, drained both physically and mentally. She was a black hole of darkness. Retches heaved through her body, and she gasped and sobbed for air, tears running down her face.
Alex’s eyes snapped open, golden flecks rising to the surface, brightening and exploding. He looked at her, his expression filled with horror.
“What have you done?” he whispered before dropping once more into a dead faint.
She collapsed over him, painful gasps tearing from her lungs, her throat raw and bloody. Pressing her ear to his chest, she felt the comforting rise and fall of his chest, the indicator of life even as he lay still and unconscious before her. She let out a sob of relief, her entire body trembling with it.
The respite was momentary, all too brief before the horror of the day came rushing back.
Jamie.
No.
She screamed.
Wild and animalistic, it ripped forcefully from her. Her Gift answered her rage. It gathered and coalesced, bright and beautiful but darkened at the edges by grief. It exploded, but she turned it in on herself, wishing to turn the mental anguish into something physical.
She wanted to break. She wanted to bleed. She wanted pain. Something, anything. As long as it offered the opportunity of an end, unlike the grief she knew would accompany her for the rest of her days.
Grief became more than
