“Oh very funny,” she folded her arms “where is he? You found him yet?” She shook her head.
“I think he’s in Italy. It would make sense.” I didn’t disagree with her but I was hoping she was going to say something else. I knew he didn’t trust me to travel there with him, every time we went I fucked something up, I got in a fight and ruined his plans. My stomach twisted. This is why you can’t see her again. She seemed like a good girl. I ruined good people. It's what I had always done. The only woman I’d never destroyed was Chloe and I swore that’s because she was just as fucked up as me. I shrugged off the thought and landed back in the living world. Her expression was unreadable. “What’s wrong with you? Ever since you went to Harvey’s wedding last night you’ve been all on edge?” Her tone was of genuine concern. I couldn’t tell her that I’d accidentally bumped into somebody twice and I was having dreams about them. She'd think I was losing my mind. Maybe I was. Or maybe it was the drugs. I shook my head.
“I’m just worried about Jay I suppose, people were asking where he was last night and I hadn’t got the answers to give them.” I swallowed as I glanced behind her towards her pink bed sheets. She smirked and shrugged.
“He’s a big boy Haz?” She stepped closer towards me and her hands traced up my chest towards my neck. I leant down and kissed her cheek softly and she frowned. “There’s definitely something bothering you.” There was a tiny crease in her forehead from where she was frowning. She didn’t get that often enough. She was always smiling. I wriggled my way from her grasp and inhaled.
“I’m heading to the gym, be back later.” I turned to leave and felt her hand catch mine. Chlo had always been a comfort. She was one of the only people that knew about my demons and accepted me for me. Her brown eyes looked sad and I hated seeing her this way. I squeezed it gently and offered her a smile. She nodded and I left. My veins were burning and my chest tighter than it had ever felt before.
Holt - Monday
I sat waiting for the arrival of my two best friends. I noticed a buzz that wasn’t unusual for this place. People were gathered around the booths and tables, chatting away and smiling at each other. I glanced down at my phone to see if Conway had suddenly remembered that he’d stood me up and sighed. I wasn’t upset that he may not be interested. I was upset because he had sort of become a friend to me. The bar was filled with people and I heard a familiar voice and looked as Alfie was leaning across to where I was sitting. I took a breath as he opened his mouth.
“Why are you all alone?” His face was friendly and I instantly relaxed.
“I’m just waiting for my friend’s. We were gonna eat and then head back to one of theirs.” I forced a smile and followed his line of site to a group of people huddled around the bar. There were familiar faces from around uni and I straightened my posture. I was waiting for a response from him but he simply nodded and walked back towards them. He was laughing and seemed so carefree. I wish I was in his frame of mind.
After what seemed like an eternity of being sat looking like a wally, they finally rocked up, 40 minutes late and Nancy’s hair was bouncing around. They were giggling together. I frowned and pulled them towards a spot that had caught my attention. It was quiet and out of the way. The waiter took our orders and we waited. I won’t tell them that I’m a little drunk because I got through 3 glasses of wine whilst I was waiting for them.
“So what took you so long?” I frowned in their direction, hoping that they had been kept back late at a lecture.
“Well,” They shared a guilty look and I watched as the waiter placed our food on the table. My stomach growled. “We kind of ran into Archie and James after we finished at uni and got a little side tracked…” Nancy’s voice wandered off and I suddenly felt a wave of disappointment move through me.
“Basically we had a quicky and then made our way here.” Soph was chewing on her pasta and she winked. Her eyes were dancing.
“Ouch, I was ditched for a boy,” I placed my hand over my chest in an attempt to shield my broken heart “that hurts.” I held in my smirk as best as I could. I watched as Soph looked across the room, her eyes widened as she swallowed her pasta.
“Fuck me, isn’t that Chloe and Missy?” I followed her eyes and examined the two young women. I would recognise Chloe anywhere. Her platinum blonde hair was smooth against her head, she was dressed in casual attire, ripped jeans and a white shirt which hugged her curves perfectly. Alfie was standing chatting with them both. They were in that big group. My memories of school flooded back. I remembered that she was 2 years above me. She hadn’t aged. Missy had. I glanced across at her, her face seemed drawn in and her face even though she clearly wore fake tan, looked lifeless. She looked ill. I shook my head and made eye contact with Nancy who was picking at her chips.
“So it seems.” My words were quiet and I suddenly lost my appetite. “Can both of you please stop staring at them, I’m not up
