I pulled my jeans up again and slapped his arm softly as he watched me. This was the second time this morning I had tried and failed to get dressed. He held me closer once we were and looked me in the eye.
“You know when we get back I can’t be like this with you?” My heart thumped. I knew, we would have to pretend like we hated each other. I ran my hand down his arm and kissed him slowly.
“Why? Can’t you at least tell Jay?” I questioned and watched as he shook his head.
“We’re off limits.” He smiled softly and I rolled my eyes.
“But Jay’s shagging my best friend, he can’t have his cake and eat it?” I raised my brow and heard a laughter escape his lips. It was so soothing and soft.
“He doesn’t want you, not the way I do,” his hand ran to cup my face and I closed my eyes, “he just wants you safe.” There was that word again safe. I opened my eyes and pulled a confused face.
“You all keep saying the word safe? Why wouldn’t I be safe?”
“What do you mean we all keep saying it?” A puzzled look crossed his face.
“Jay,” I paused before I opened my mouth again “before I came here with you told me to stay safe.” I shook my head as I watched him look out towards the window. There was something he wasn’t telling me. I took my phone from my bag and looked at the time. It was only 8am. I could still get to uni today if we left now. “Can you drop me like down the road from Uni?” He smiled and nodded as he kissed my hand.
“I can.” I smiled softly at him. I wasn’t going to push him for information. I was too scared of him turning into that monster again. I took his hand and we made our way out of the hotel and back towards his Audi.
He pulled up just far enough away from campus for me to get away with not having to explain who it was. He stopped me from getting out of the car, his blue eyes looked confused and scared almost.
“I’m not trying to play with your feelings?” He stopped talking almost the second he spoke “I shouldn’t have even taken you out last night.” His words were mumbles and I kissed him slowly.
“Then why did you?” I ran my nose over his.
“Because I can’t stay away from you.” I bit down on my bottom lip, which felt slightly more tender than usual and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you,” I climbed from the black Audi and made my way towards the campus. Full of confusion and doubt. What does somebody like him want with somebody like me?
There was no Nancy today at the lecture. I felt lonely… I couldn’t concentrate on a damn thing. I heard the professor speak but took nothing in. My notes were just doodles on a white page and I grimaced. This isn’t you. I shook my head and began to walk home. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I placed my hand directly on it before I pulled it out.
Nance: I’m at yours, let myself in… :) see you soon xx
Me: oh okay? Everything okay? Xx
Nance: I’ll tell you when you get back I’m alright though don’t panic xx
My gut twisted as I read her messages. I had lots of questions to ask her but I would have to wait until my feet carried me home.
She was sitting in my living room. I knew her and she looked like she’d been crying. Her eyes were puffy and the whites were slightly red too. I frowned deeply as I approached her.
“What’s wrong?” I questioned as she shrugged.
“They’re weird yeah? Like Jay?” I suppressed a small laugh and nodded before looking over at her sad face.
“What’s happened Nance?” My eyes followed her as she bit her lip. I watched her, eyes saddened they clouded over with tears. She sprawled herself out on the sofa.
“We had an argument last night. Honestly Av I’ve never seen him so angry,” she closed her eyes tight “he was cruel…” I rubbed her leg in a comforting way. Why was he cruel to her? I shook my head and exhaled loudly.
“Maybe he was having an off day?” My words were quieter than usual and I wasn't sure I believed them myself. I watched as she shrugged.
“Are you going to the bonfire at Top Hat tonight? Firework display and stuff apparently?” I nodded. I would if she went but I wasn’t going alone.
“Jay said he’d fetch us at 6ish or said he’d get Haz to if he was too busy,” her eyes opened as she looked at me “where did you go last night?” My gut jumped as she asked the question. I wanted to tell her the truth, I needed to tell somebody but I couldn’t and I knew that.
“I came home, I still had a headache this morning.” I gave her a small closed smile and watched as she smirked and sat up. She either knew I was lying or was pleased I was suffering, neither seemed like a nice thing. I pushed her shoulder softly and watched as she stood up.
“C’mon we better get ready.” She pulled slightly on my arm as we made our way up the stairs.
I watched her paint her face. She seemed so meticulous in her application. She was a beautiful girl. She was always the one who stood out. I smiled to myself as I sat next to her on the bed
