“Try me?” She whispered and I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to lose her again. Memories of darker situations flicked through my head like pictures taken with a polaroid camera and I grimaced.
“Not tonight?” Her nose was resting against mine, I ran the length of her back with my fingers as she began to kiss me. There was no urgency but a sense of need. I wanted her but I’d promised Chlo I wouldn’t fix this with sex. Sex fixed everything but not in the long run. “I thought I’d figured out my path. I thought that I’d live my life the way I do until I overdosed or got myself killed. The truth is I’ve never seen myself living past 30 Avaya,” there was a sharp intake of breath from her lungs and I squeezed her slightly. “That was until I laid eyes on you.” My lips traced hers and her eyes closed softly, her long thick dark lashes fluttered and it sent my heart into a frenzy. In my minds eye I pictured Jay bursting through my bedroom door back at Alfie’s singing Ushers U Got It Bad at me and bit my lip in an attempt to stop myself from laughing. “I don’t think I’ve ever really loved anybody.” The words just kept coming. Falling like a waterfall and they needed to stop. Her hands slipped down my neck and were resting against my shoulders. She examined my facial expression and frustration grew in me. I wanted so desperately to be able to read her mind.
“So we just go with the flow?” Her tone was soft. So soft and I offered her a small smile. “Can you just promise me one thing?” I wanted to nod but fear gripped me so I froze. I was scared shitless of what she wanted me to promise. I didn’t want to break it and I was good at doing that. I broke everything. “Promise me you’ll try and get clean?” Tears filled her eyes.
“I haven’t touched anything for the last week,” she didn’t reply. I wasn’t convinced that she believed a word I was saying and if I was her I wouldn’t have either. “I needed to know I wasn’t just lusting after you.” Her sea green eyes caught mine and my breathing halted.
“And are you?” She moved backwards slightly on my lap and I bit my lip.
“I mean of course,” I cleared my throat and shook my head trying to put my response together. It seemed no matter how hard I tried the words just didn’t want to come out in the way I wanted them to. “I mean, I still want you,” This was hopeless. “It’s not just that. I wouldn’t have flown over here to just get my fill of you.” Her eyebrow was raised and she was blushing.
“You sure about that?” There was an air of sarcasm to her tone of voice which made me smile.
“I’m sure.” She chuckled as she rose from off my lap and clutched my hand in hers. She pulled softly and I pulled back. She was standing between my legs, her little white dress clung to her perfectly shaped body and I ran my hands over her hips as I pulled her closer to me. I looked up at her face from where I was sat. “You’ve said no and I made a promise not to touch you until I could sort my head out.”
“Who did you promise that to.” Myself. My subconscious growled and I shook my head before I placed my head against her stomach. “Come to bed Harry.” She ran her fingers through my hair and then down the length of my arms. My promise to myself was getting harder to keep the more she pushed me.
“Please don’t tempt me.” I whispered and felt her pull gently on my arms.
“Please?” She was almost begging and I stood. “My feet are throbbing and I’m sleepy. I just want you next to me.” She admitted. “I sleep easier next to you.” The colour crimson rose in her face and I dipped down to lay my lips against her cheek.
“I do too.” She smiled sweetly. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and watched as she padded across the balcony towards the sliding door. She glanced back over her shoulder. Her hair still in that neat bun. My eyes traced the shape of her body and I shook my head. No Haz!
The bed was in the living quarters. There was no sofa inside the small apartment. She was peeling her dress off her body. I took off my shirt and flung it towards my suitcase and stood in awe of her. I made my way slowly to the other side of the bed and unbuttoned my shorts, my eyes never left her. I watched as she covered her boobs with her arm and flushed red again.
“Why are you so shy?” She shrugged and slipped into bed. “I’ve seen them before.” I stated and almost wanted to kick myself.
“I just am.” She wasn’t shy when she had your dick in her mouth. I gritted my teeth at the memory and plonked myself down next to her. I knew she’d reach to touch my chest and I braced myself for impact but she didn’t. She seemed to be putting distance between us and I didn’t know whether to thank her for it or ask her why she was doing it. “I just think about all the women you’ve been with like Chlo,” I instantly stopped her flow.
“Avaya. They’ve all had work done. Chloe has had her tits done, her lips filled and more rat poison injected into her than you could shake a stick at…”
“But she’s beautiful.” I wanted to roll my eyes but it was clear that she was blinded by what she thought was beautiful.
“She is but
